A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I are starting to plan our wedding. This will be my second marriage and second wedding. I had the traditional wedding experience with my first wedding and am unsure of the proper etiquette for a second wedding. His family wants to parake in all the traditional wedding planning ie:dress shopping, shower, flowers, planning etc. I'm not sure if it is appropriate to include them since I'm a second time bride. I thought it was more appropriate to just plan it myself but I don't want to exclude him or his family from the experience. Also, I want a wedding at home and my fiance wants a destination wedding. I know my family won't be able to afford to travel and most of our friends won't either. But he has his heart set on it. While I have my heart set on a venue locally already. Should I take the back seat and let him choose the venue and decide if we are doing a destination wedding since it's my second wedding and his first? I don't want to bully him into anything he doesn't want but it seems like our views are completely different. And on the same token I also dont want to sacrifice my visions either. What do I do?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 February 2016):
 I agree, it's time to negotiate!
Instead of the destination wedding - have a DESTINATION honeymoon! And since you already HAD a wedding, let his family go crazy with planning a wedding AT HOME where your family and friends can join too.
By the by, who is going to pay for all this?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2016):
 I think a reasonable compromise coud be this :
he gives up the destination wedding in favour of a local one, where your family and friends could intervene without breaking the bank.
In change, you let him and his family go all Groomzilla and plan a wedding with bells and whistles,- flowers,shopping, everything, although, as you suspect, it would be MUCH more appropriate and elegant if a second wedding were very simple and sober instead .
He'll make do without the exotic location- and youìll make do with being judged by some a bit clueless or unsophisticated.
Best wishes !
You both would survive.:)
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 February 2016):
 "Fiancee Fred, I know you have your heart set on a destination wedding and I don't want to deny you something you have your heart set on but are you aware that if we DO get married away from here my family and friends wont be there due to financial constraints. Is that really what you want, a wedding with none of the people who are special to me, there?"
See what he says.
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