A
female
age
30-35,
*onelygurl00
writes:I have a 10 month old baby and im 15. When i was about 8 months pregnant i left my high school. Im in indepenent studies though, im so depressed I have no friends at all I only talk to my boyfriend, I do everything with him. I just feel so trapped in my house I take care of my daughter by myself all day its so boring and stressful. How can I start making friends and getting out more?
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 I wish a lots of 15 years old girl will read this message of you. So they will see how you are suffering now. Please dont take it as a negative comment on you. Partly its a lesson to all teenage at 14 / 15 want to have already a baby. I dont blame you for that now of course its already there. But i would try to cheer you up by saying, Dont you worry not to have so much friends now, because its the good time that you can really spend and enjoy your time being a Mother. Of course its diffirence now. If you dont have a baby right now, your time will be with your friends, school, theater, fun etc. and you are enjoying your teenage time. But since you have this baby now its totally opposite being single and young. Here you have to wake up early, clean up the baby, give the baby a milk, etc. in your age right now its true it will be a boring situation. But look at the bright side, your baby will not be forever 8 months. She will grow up and later she will become your best friend. So cheer up" be strong' you are now in a second stage of life being a mother. Its time to forget the fun like what you have before because now you really have to adjust and its forever. Here is the saying. Once a women become a Mother she will become a mother all her life. I wish you googdluck anyway and hey' try to relax dont put too much stress ok..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): Hello! I'm sorry you're feeling down. I agree with the other poster 'rcn'. Don't forget that you have just gone through a big physical and emotional event ... having a baby. Don't give up on your studies. I had a baby at 18 and the next one at 22, so I kind of know how it is, although I was a bit older than you I was still young. It was hard not going out and I was working too and I had to study part time but I did A Levels and a degree and a masters and now my children are older and I am only 42 and with good job opportunities. I feel as though it was frustrating back then at times cos all my friends could go out and I was mostly at home. But you can still enjoy your life. Summer is coming! So you can go out for walks, join clubs, mother and baby groups etc .. It will get easier. You might even still have a bit of post natal blues? You could even try a little bit of counselling. Find some kind of hobby that you can do from home or that you can take the baby with. I took my daughter swimming when she was six months old .. we went to a mother and baby swimming club and it was nominal fees because I was a full time mum for those months and she loved the swimming and we got chatting to other people and I had to be in the pool with her. There are toy libraries at most local libraries and all kinds of stuff. Don't give up and don't get too down! Post again on here if you need any more support. I'm sure you'll great some great answers from the others! You are still adjusting to a big life event, which is what having a baby is. Even older women who are married with a new baby can go through these feelings, so you are not wrong and not alone. Take care :) x
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Life changes with having a baby. It can be difficult and stressful. I will tell you from experience (having 4 children), watching my children grow and being part of their grown is the greatest pleasure I've ever had the opportunity to be part of.
Look around for clubs and things that take place. Church groups, etc. to get out of the house and meet people maybe with like challenges you're going through. I went to the mall early one day, thought stores opened an hour before they actually did, and there were a group of mothers who meet there 3 times a week, with their babies in strollers, and they walk, getting their exercise and talking with other mothers. You can also make the park your best friend, you'll meet people there, and it'll give you much more outside time.
You had your baby young, but I want you to know that you are a mom to a child, the same as anyone at any other age who is a mom too. I sense in reading this that you have, in some way (knowing or not) isolated yourself from others as if you are separate from and not the same as, other teens. Did you have friends before getting pregnant? Which friends supported your pregnancy? Did they ditch you or did you isolate yourself from them?
Also begin looking at your day as not being boring and stressful, but as another adventure you get to share with your child. As I said, raising mine has been wonderful. It is because I see my kids as being partners in life, and not so much a parent (boss) child (slave) relationship, that many parents have held. We are partners because when they have issues, we work together to solve them. We work together to grow my knowledge of what they're going through, and help each other to be better and stronger individuals for ourselves and others.
I hope this wasn't to long. I wanted to give you a little insight of how to take raising a child from being a chore, to being one of the greatest experiences in your life as well.
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