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I need more than a phone to hold at night, I need for HIM to be here!

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm really scared for no reason, I guess my fiance went through depression and we have an off and on long distance relationship and we were supposed to get married this month but he wanted to save up some more money but I know that's the level headed thing to do since me being pregnant not working and leaving him with everything I have very hard times being pregnant, I lost our frist baby when I was almost seven months along so I'm mostly on bed rest and have my good days. I do everything for him as possible, I live with my parents because I quit my job and he moved 300 miles away to help his mom out after his dad's death.

He has been trying to make me happy but he doesn't understand I'm only happy when he's there living with me. I've seen him twice since I've been pregnant, now five months and I know we haven't found an apartment but I'm left to do it because he has other things to do he has been helping his grandmother and mom a lot and working. I just feel as I'm not so important.

I've tried talking to him but it really doesn't work, I'm not good getting out how I feel, I know just not sure how to say it, he gets upset not understanding when I tell him that I feel as I'm all alone and he doesn't care as much and doesn't seem to try and make time for me unless he's ready for bed and I feel so low. I don't know why. I really love him and when wer'e in person it's way different. Long distance has put a lot of weight of stress on me and kinda damaged our relationship and I can't do it much longer, I just can't. I need more than a phone to hold at night and to be there, I just don't know how to tell him that, any ideas?

View related questions: fiance, grandmother, live with my parents, long distance, money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i dont thin of cheating but i am missing him so much ive talked to him and we are still looking for a place but plan to see each other soon again and at least once a month intill we move in together but thank you for all your help it really made me feel better

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (1 August 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntI don't know his age, only what your age range shows, which is young. I can't tell you why he is distant or not excited about getting married anymore. It sounds like from you're original text that you are the one having problems dealing with the distance. Are you considering messing around? You may have not told him directly that you need more than a phone to hold at night, but you may have gotten your message across just by the way you talk to him and act. Are you making this separation more difficult in your conversations, or are you genuinly happy, giving and trusting? Depending on what you say to him on the phone, you may be pushing him away. Long distance relationships are difficult anyway. If you truly love him, then measure his committment to the relationship based upon what he does. Does he send you money, does he call you daily, does he tell you he loves you? Remember, love is a verb an action. It's very difficult to measure when he is so far away. I suggest you do what you need to so you can be together as soon as possible too avoid any further misunderstandings and get your life down the road.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i seen him july 3rd but im going thru alot alone and i need him but i feel as he distances himself at times and i dont understand why he isnt as excited about getting married any more everytime i see him the relationship is fine for 2 weeks but then problems start as were away from each other but when were in person all is great were just us and we never fight

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (1 August 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntYou're pregnant and lonely. How long have you been apart?

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