A
female
age
30-35,
*abyyblonde
writes:So my boyfriend just left for college. It's only been a week but I'm already encountering some issues. However, these are problems I'm creating for myself and I really really don't want the things in my head to ruin what we have.First off, I'm worried that if we both stay busy, hang out with our own friends, school, etc, we're going to forget each other. And that sounds really lame, but we have gone from literally seeing each other day (we only lived a few houses apart), to now only seeing each other every other weekend :/ it's a hard transition. Does not seeing each other ruin the spark? (I'm not worried for myself, I'm worried for him)Also, he's a really terrible communicator over texting. He's always been a face to face kind of guy. How do I keep myself from freaking out when he isn't being all lovey dovey when he texts me? What else can I do to help the health of our relationship? Not like in a controlling way, but communication wise, etc? I know I need to back off and let him live his life, but what if this ends up having a negative effect on our relationship? And how do you keep yourself from feeling paranoid all the time as far as trust issues?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (19 August 2010):
For background information, read the thread "Can our high school romance survive college?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-our-high-school-romance-survive-college.html .
If you can spend quality time with each other every other weekend - without compromising his academic obligations - you may have a good chance of continuing your relationship. When you meet, allow for some time to get re-acquainted - don't expect to jump into "instant intimacy". And, while he is off learning, and growing, and encountering new ideas and interesting people, and being challenged (and meeting the challenges), what are YOU doing? Are you keeping pace with his growth?
To be honest, your "feeling paranoid" about "trust", and your "freaking out" about his texting (or lack thereof) are not good signs. They may be indications that your relationship is built more on superficial contact rather than mental and emotional connections.
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