A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a long distance relationship for the past year. At the beginning, when we couldn't see each other, things were great...we constantly told each other how much we wanted each other and found other ways to be intimate. Over the past 6 months a few things have happened that have put a serious strain on our relationship. My boyfriend cheated on me, but we worked through it and he really stepped up and showed me that it was a huge mistake and it wouldn't happen again. Then a month ago, he told me he might not be over his ex. Again, we tried to work through it. We haven't been able to see each other for a while and I can't remember the last time he told me that he "wanted me" or tried to find a way to be intimate. When I brought this up and told him that it made me feel unwanted and a little insecure, he told me that I was being ridiculous. Am I wrong for thinking that something has changed or something else is going on? Any insight or words of wisdowm would be greatly appreciated.
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cheated on me, his ex, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 December 2009):
I think there are a few red flags here. Cheating so early into a relationship, warning you he may not be over his ex, telling you you're ridiculous because you don't feel wanted. These are danger signs that this man is using you as a rebound, or a convenience. Long Distance Relationships are hugely hard to commit to, and it doesn't sound like he's that committed. I was in one, and she wasn't over her ex. Guess what. I got hurt. However, I'm now in another and it's working out really well, because both of us are committed. He isn't committed by the sounds of it, and my hope would be that you see there are things that aren't working here. My advice would be to think seriously about whether you want to be second best to a man living miles away, when you can be THE best to someone who is closer.
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