I don't understand why my boyfriend needs porn to have sex with me!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. Wwe have 2 children. The last 2 months every time we are going to have sex he puts on a porn film and I don't understand why. Becouse he gets hard when he kisses me. This is really making me...
A. 14 November 2005: Maybe hes just saying that he wants to experiment more, or do different things- there is a chance he might be getting bored with the same old same old. I would recommend that you initiate it. Buy some sexy lingerae, or light some candles, anything ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with this guy, but we've only known each other for 2 months!
Q. Can you be in love with someone after 2 months? I'm confused as I've never felt this way about someone before. I think he feels the same, but should I tell him or just wait for him to say it?...
A. 1 November 2005: Love doesnt have time frames, so of course you can be in love after only 2 months. Me and my partner were in love before we had even kissed! We were best friends though and knew each other very well. After 2 months there is still a lot you dont know ... (read in full...)
I can't talk to Mum about my problems. She just says it's nothing, compared to her problems...
Q. I'm not sure whats ahppening to me. I've always been a happy person, good student and had heaps of friends. I used to spend more time helping others then consoling myself (because I didn't need to) I cant take naything anymore. My school work is s...
A. 1 November 2005: Sorry, to continue, if you go to http://www.kidshelp.com.au The Kids helpline also have web chatting/counselling, or email counselling. Check it out.... (read in full...)
I can't talk to Mum about my problems. She just says it's nothing, compared to her problems...
Q. I'm not sure whats ahppening to me. I've always been a happy person, good student and had heaps of friends. I used to spend more time helping others then consoling myself (because I didn't need to) I cant take naything anymore. My school work is s...
A. 1 November 2005: You have very low self esteem which is getting worse over time. You cant talk to your family about it but it is essential you talk to someone. Most suburbs, or at least hopefully a suburb near you, have community health- or youth centres. They can ... (read in full...)
My child's father doesn't want to know about the pregnancy. What should I do?
Q. I am 6 weeks pregnant. The child's father doesn't want to know and is married. I have 3 difficult teenagers and am a lone parent running my own business. My life is hectic and full and I am 40. I have absolutely no family other than my 3 children. D...
A. 31 October 2005: I feel for you. I am also 6 weeks pregnant, and cant imagine what it would be like not to be able to share what I am going through with my partner. I also know however that if my partner didnt stick around I would still have to go through it. Its ... (read in full...)
I gave him lavish gifts when we were a couple. If he leaves, shouldn't he give them back?
Q. I am a 23 year old gay male. My best friend and I (since we were six) decided to become boy friends about 6 months ago after five years of relationships with others that never worked because we found we were looking for each other in our partners. ...
A. 31 October 2005: You gave him these gifts, they didnt have conditions when you gave them to him, so why should they now? You may regret giving them to him, but I dont think its a good idea to take them back. If you still want to be with him, you need to get this ... (read in full...)
My partner's pregnant 'fling' is threatening to keep the baby from him!
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me with this girl as soon as he met her in March. She got pregnant that same month. They both said it was protected and the condom broke. They claimed it was an accident, but now that she found out he was in a serious ...
A. 28 October 2005: She is being slightly irrational but also making sense. Of course she wouldnt want you there at the birth. This baby will be a part of your life, but only because its a part of your boyfriends. You have a long and hard road ahead of you. She cannot ... (read in full...)
I had fun and independance until I moved in with my 40-year-old boyfriend...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 months. After him meeting me he wanted me to move in so I moved in. After 2 months as I knew at the time, it felt right for both of us. Now the problem is I don't feel anything toward him anymore! I used ...
A. 28 October 2005: Have you tried talking to him? Telling him that you are not happy? He may not realise that you feel this way so how is he supossed to do anything about it? I think you really should talk to him before deciding anything. Best Wishes x... (read in full...)
Why does my ex look through me? I've moved on and just want to be friendly!
Q. Hey There I was with my first love for 6 years, we were like two peas in a pod. We had a fab relationship. All within one month we went to go buy a house together, he wanted to get engaged, he showered me with gifts for my B'day and then we went...
A. 28 October 2005: It sounds like he is feeling guilty and he doesnt know how to be sorry for how hes hurt you. I am so happy that you have gotten on with your life and you are happy in being single. You cannot let his immaturity bother you as much as it is. Dont take ... (read in full...)
My ex-wife comes to me for moral support. Is there a chance for us to get back together?
Q. I was married for 14 years and have two small girls. My wife and I have been divorced for 5 months, but seperated for 3 years. We are still very close, I see her every day and usually have dinner with her and the children. We even go on daytrips ...
A. 28 October 2005: You have two young girls so she will never be completely out of your life and you shouldnt aim for this to happen. A good relationship stems from a good friendship and it sounds as though you have that downpacked! Take your time and dont make any ... (read in full...)
I'm away from my abusive ex-bf, but the bad feelings won't leave!
Q. I'm 20 and I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 6 weeks ago. I havent had a good night sleep for the past couple of weeks because I keep thinking about the times when he was really horrible to me. He used to humiliate me and did a few ...
A. 28 October 2005: I would highly recommend you seek out counselling services. These are usually free at community centres. You said that you dont feel comfortable telling anyone what he did to you, but a counsellor has heard it all and there is no need for you to ... (read in full...)
My bf has only been gone for business for 5 days so far, and I miss him so much!
Q. My boyfriend and I have dated now for going on 5 months. He's the man I've dreamed of, and for the first time he's found what he wants in me. We have our issues, but this is real love and we both know that. Recently, a company he's got a prospect...
A. 27 October 2005: Keep busy. Its for the best and will make you stronger as a couple. Missing someone is a good thing. Its shows you how much you care for them. Use this time to do things for yourself. Enjoy being around your friends and family. Go shopping by ... (read in full...)
Everything I say to my fiancee seems to come across wrong!
Q. Dear Cupid Ihave a problem with expressing myself to my fiancee and this has resulted her almost having an affair. This really hurts because I really love her but whatever I do or say seems to come across in the wrong way. Please can you help ...
A. 26 October 2005: Hi boy_in_window, Have you tried writing her a letter, or nice card expressing how you feel? Often simple acts of romance or kindness show someone how much you love them, rather than actual words. Planning a romantic picnic, or opening doors for ... (read in full...)
It's time to break up, but I want to do it gently...
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 months but things haven't been going well lately. I want to split up with my girlfriend but I don't want to hurt her. How can I let her down easily?...
A. 26 October 2005: Any way you tell her is going to hurt her. It will be hard for both yourself and for her, and you need to be patient and give her time to deal with what you tell her. If you are sure that you cant work on it, or there is nothing that could change ... (read in full...)
I love when he goes down on me, but I just don't come!
Q. Hello, This a sexual question. why is it that everytime my feller goes down on me I can never let my self come to an orgasm. It feels all weird, I start shaking, then it starts hurting a bit!. It's really enjoyable at first but then I have to...
A. 20 October 2005: Do you masturbate? Can you make yourself cum? If not I suggest that you work on this to find out what makes you cum and how you like to be pleasured. The key really is to RELAX! Stop focussing on cumming, and just enjoy the experience. If you are ... (read in full...)
When my girlfriend gives me oral sex, I just can't get off!
Q. When my girlfriend gives me a blowjob, I can never get off. All the times I get right to the point that I would normally get off but it won't happen. What could be the problem? I love it when she does it, it feels good. It just wont finish it. ...
A. 19 October 2005: I had a boyfriend that would never cum in my mouth or when I gave him a hand job. Yet he would cum when he gave himself a hand job! He could never explain it, nobody had even been able to make him. He came in my mouth a few times but that was only ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to meet up with an old high-school friend?
Q. I am married. I love my husband very dearly. I came in contact with an old high school friend fact we were friends since diapers. We have been E- mailing each other since our 20th class reunion and we do some friendly-no-meaning flirting but I had ...
A. 19 October 2005: I would definately recommend that unless you want to cheat on your husband, you dont see him. I think deep down you know that it would happen and he probably does to. If you are not happy with your current relationship you need to spend some time on ... (read in full...)
In love with my housemate. Should I wait for him to figure it out?
Q. Hi everyone. My problem is that I am in love with my housemate. A few nights ago I thought he knew how I felt because he apologised for upsetting me when he kissed another girl when we were out. Now he's going out with her, and I want to tell him ...
A. 19 October 2005: If it was only that you started to have feelings for your housemate, or you just felt attracted to him, I would say dont do anything because it may cause havick on your friendship. But you are in love with him! Those are big words, and if you mean ... (read in full...)
Keeping tallies on sex and orgasm...
Q. I told my wife that 3 of my ex girlfriends would write down on a calender everytime we had sex. They would put a check mark if they got off. They would put a circle if they gave me a bj. My wife things that was weird and thinks no girls do that, ...
A. 17 October 2005: Who cares who is right? Why are you making such a big deal of it. I right down everytime me and my partner have sex, but only cause Im an organised freak who loves lists. Everyone that I have told this to thinks Im strange, but who cares!?!... (read in full...)
Everything I try to discuss with my boyfriend turns into an argument. Is it the age difference?
Q. I am a 31 year old female. My boyfriend is 44, once divorced. We have been dating for 2 years. He is a wonderful man, I didn't know people like him still existed. He treats me with the most respect, very kind and understanding and great with my ...
A. 14 October 2005: I know exactly what you mean! I think it may be the older men that are not as good at opening up, and therefore avoid it by turning it into an arguement. If you really love him and want it to work it out, help him through it. Dont encourage the ... (read in full...)
There was a threesome with my boyfriend, long before I met him. Now I can't get past the idea!
Q. My current boyfriend (Don) and I have been dating for 3 yrs. When we first started dating, he lived with his roommates, a married couple, Alex and Wendy. We dated for months before I got a job at Wendy's company, and befriending Wendy. (Wendy turned ...
A. 13 October 2005: Hi girl! Stop stressing! I know its harder said than done, but you have to stop punishing Don by going over and over it with him. He didnt do anything wrong and you will start pushing him away if you keep at it. If you cant handle having anything to ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling low and lost, so I masturbate... I can't stop!
Q. I need help, I can't stop masturbating every day, sometimes a few times daily. I'm single and hate it. I've been depressed and I can feel myself slipping back down again as I've just lost my job and so I have nothing. I feel so low and stuck in...
A. 13 October 2005: First of all, there is nothing to feel guilty about masturbating, almost everyone does it- and if it makes you feel good- why not! Feeling like you are doing something wrong will only make you feel worse. Secondly, I think you need to see someone ... (read in full...)
What really turns my husband on is touch... I need suggestions!
Q. My hubbie and I have been married for just over a year, and I just figured out that he is mostly turned on by touch. I've always had a greater sex-drive then him, and I always thought it was because i saved myself for marriage, while he had multiple ...
A. 12 October 2005: Touch! As he said! Try giving him a relaxing oil massage. Or stroking his chest working your way downwards. You dont always have to give him head. Maybe start with softly touching him, (doesnt have to be sexual places) this may be enough to get him ... (read in full...)
Lost my job after my affair with the boss ended...
Q. Me and my boss had an affair, and it ended soon after he had a new born baby. This is a job in theatre so it means the world to me, and may not get another one like it. I said a few nasty things to him before we split but that was just because ...
A. 12 October 2005: What he has done is illegal and you could take him to court over it. He is stopping you from keeping your job for personal reasons. Maybe seek the help of a workers union and ask what the best steps are. Best wishesx... (read in full...)
I think she'd rather watch TV than make out with me!
Q. I don't see my Girl Friend a lot, but when I do we're usally round her house and we watch TV with her parents. But then her parents go out for about 3 hours - I'm dying to make out, but she just wants to carry on watching TV. Even though we know ...
A. 12 October 2005: I am sure she doesnt have a problem with you. Maybe she just wants to relax and enjoy your company rather than having to make out with you all the time. Try to enjoy her company when shes just being herself. If your relationship doesnt stem from ... (read in full...)
My cheating was just a symptom of our failing relationship...
Q. I have just cheated on my partner with a guy that I have kinda known for nearly 2 years. I am now in the process of breaking it off with my partner because the attraction with the other guy is like fireworks going off! Even though the other gu...
A. 12 October 2005: As hard as it will be to tell him that its over you know that you have to. You are right that the feelings you have for this other man prove to you that you shouldnt be with your current partner. You should surround yourself by positive people that ... (read in full...)
My partner says we're "on a break", but I don't know what that means!
Q. We have been in a 10 month relationship and we have just taken a break. What does taking a beak even mean? Does it mean that we can date other people or even think about it? I don't know. Can someone please help!...
A. 12 October 2005: Everybody has their own opinion on what being on a break is about and its different in every individual case. You need to talk to him and discuss what this means for the two of you. I cant help thinking that if you are comfortable with dating other ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's joining the Army. Should I accept his proposal of marriage?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for the past 6 months. In January (3 months time) he's planning to join the army and will be away for months at a time. Recently he asked me to marry him, and I'm not sure if it's what I want to do. My friends ...
A. 7 October 2005: My cousin joined the army about 3 years ago. After being in it for about a year he got back with his ex girlfriend that he had had before joining the army. The longest time he had to go away for was 12 weeks. He waited until he had gone to see how ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my future husband will be turned off by my scar and stretch marks...
Q. I'm 16 years old and I am still a virgin. Well see, this is how it is, I'm saving myself till marriage. The thing is though, when I do get married I don't want my husband to see my body because I think my body is ugly. I have stretch marks on my ...
A. 7 October 2005: Oh sweety! If your future husband is the one, he wouldn't care if you had a saucepan for a head! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to look beautiful! The marks on your body, and especially that scar, make you different and unique to everyone ... (read in full...)
Is sex always this... messy?
Q. Me and my girlfriend had a very active sex life. We decided to change from using condoms to her going on the pill so there would be no delay when we were in the mood. Unfortunately it seems to have had the opposite effect. The main reason is f...
A. 5 October 2005: he he... Definately always this messy! We always laugh about it though! Its a struggle to get a group of tissues over me to "plug" it in while he is taking himself out, before it goes everywhere! Then Ill kind of lay there for a bit before deciding ... (read in full...)
He told me straight out that he doesn't love me, and yet I still want to stay with him forever...
Q. Been with my partner for 2 years now, love every minute (apart from when i get extrodinarily jealous because he's a very attractive gentleman and the ladies are very easily charmed by him - classic adventurer, full of stories, extremely intelligent ...
A. 4 October 2005: Does he make you happy? He sounds like he does. I dont think that it should matter whether he says those three words or not, I am pretty certain he would feel the same way that you feel about him, hes just too scared to say it. He has obviously said ... (read in full...)
Did we screw up by sleeping together before we get married?
Q. Hi! Okay it's like this. I'm 24 librian and he's 35 librian. Both single and both been with 3 partners each. I have been very good friends with this man for 5 years no but only together 7 weeks. During this time we have always had a connecti...
A. 30 September 2005: No of course not! Most people sleep together before they get married now. If you love each other that much, and both want to get married, it will come naturally whether you have slept together or not. Best Wishes x... (read in full...)
I still love my ex, and she's single again. But to get together with her means breaking up my new relationship!
Q. I was with my ex girlfriend for almost six years. She was married throughout the relationship but we were deeply in love and she never once made me feel like the other man. In fact went to great lengths not to. She attempted to leave her husband but ...
A. 30 September 2005: It sounds like your ex is your soulmate. Being your soulmate doesnt mean that it will be easy, but the fabulous things in life never are. It seems as though you will never be completely happy unless you are with her. If you do break up with your ... (read in full...)
I just wanted to share a story with my partner, but his reaction was unexpected!
Q. Recently while on lunch, a shy young gent came up to me, saying that he hopes he's not being to forward or assuming things. He said that he has noticed me many times before and that he found me very attractive and that he'd like to go for coffee ...
A. 30 September 2005: I wouldnt worry too much about your partners response. He feels insecure, and probably thinks that obviously now you know you can get someone else you will. He will get over it. Dont try to take it personally or make too much of it, and if he trys ... (read in full...)
I'm married, she has a boyfriend, but I feel like we're meant to make each other happy!
Q. I am a 39 year old married man with a 1 child. I had an affair about 8 years ago, I was found out, we went through a really tough time but managed to hold on. I have never felt quite the same about us since that time and I feel that it is only ...
A. 28 September 2005: I am 22 and my partner is 40. He was possibily in the same situation as you, he was with his partner for almost 20 years (they never got married) and had children. We met and became the best of friends, decided that we were soul mates and life ... (read in full...)
My fiance is gorgeous and I love him; I just don't feel sexual around him.
Q. I have been with my fiance for a year. We live together and plan to marry next year. I just dont feel sexual with him. He is gorgeous and I love him dearly but I don't get turned on by him. He is getting frustrated and says it's OK but it's driving ...
A. 28 September 2005: You say you cant be bothered and dont have the time for sex. It sounds as though you are tired and maybe stressed. If so, this would be your biggest reason that your sex drive has disappeared. I would get this looked at first. Stop working so much, ... (read in full...)
Things were great at first. Now he's quiet and tired and the sex has disappeared...
Q. I've been with my fella for 9 months. Everything was great at first but recently things have changed. He doesn't seem to make the effort and with regards to sex, he won't unless I initiate it. I love him dearly, he's 38, I'm 26. He's a quiet pe...
A. 28 September 2005: Hi Hun, I completely disagree with Delihas post. Why would you open this horrible untrustworth can of worms for no reason. You said he has been working a lot. Theres your problem! I am 22 and with a 40 year old. We love each other so much, but when ... (read in full...)
He's with someone, but she treats him horribly, and I think he'd like to be with me...
Q. I really fancy this guy but he is with someone else. I know they are not happy because I hang around with the same group of friends as them. They always argue and she is horrible to him. He can't do anything right. I know he likes me too because ...
A. 23 September 2005: Id say leave it. Hes a big boy and if he wanted to leave her, he would have. Its amazing what onlookers can think of a relationship when the people in it can be so happy. Don't help him become a cheater. By all means, if he decides to leave her then ... (read in full...)
Does he think he's betraying his late wife, or is his behaviour normal?
Q. I have been dating a man for two months. He lives alone and have one grown stepson. His wife died almost three years ago, still he is stuck in a shell. He has not moved on. I finally got him to give her clothes away after the Katrina struck. ...
A. 23 September 2005: Stop trying to compete with a dead woman (sorry to be frank) and just enjoy your time with this man. It will take him a while to not feel guilty about being happy with someone other than hes wife. He has obviously not stopped loving her. Dont try ... (read in full...)
Reeling from my husband's announcement that he wants a divorce. Opinions?
Q. My spouse of nearly 7 years came to me on Labor Day and said that he was no longer happy with himself and that he wanted a Divorce. He has moved into his barracks so that he may have the time apart he asked for. He has said that he needs to find ...
A. 22 September 2005: Dont chase him, be there for him if he decides to come back, but you pressuring him into being with you or being too "avaiable" will only push him away. My thoughts are with you.... (read in full...)
My mate has moved away and I fancy his girl... Should I go for it?
Q. I like my best friend's crush, and I think she likes me. My friend has moved away and but he still talks to her on a regular basis. I know he likes a girl up where he lives, but he still likes the one here. My friends say I should go for her, but ...
A. 21 September 2005: I would recommend to speak with your friend before you do anything. you say you dont want to hurt your friend so tell him that you want to talk to him about something. Say youve started to have feelings for this girl but wont act on it if he feels ... (read in full...)
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