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female
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cupid92581
writes: Hi! Okay it's like this. I'm 24 librian and he's 35 librian. Both single and both been with 3 partners each. I have been very good friends with this man for 5 years no but only together 7 weeks.During this time we have always had a connection but on his part it was always stronger. I came back from living in Spain for a while and we just wound up together. We didn't sleep together, just held hands, kissed and he took me to dinner a lot, the beach.We agreed not to sleep together unless/until we were married and were both happy about that. We didn't need to; we knew each other too well. We went to Germany together and one night while we were there it happened, we slept together. We both love one another on a very normal but deep level, not complicated.Have I screwed up, us ever getting married? My mother always said if you sleep with a man before you're married he won't marry you. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 September 2005):
 What's important is what your boyfriend thinks about your sleeping together, not what your mum thinks.
Although her words may have rung true a generation or two ago, your mum's a bit out of touch. The majority of couples sleep together long before considering marriage. (That's not to disparage those who stay chaste; they're just in a rather smaller minority.)
What you do now is keep communicating with your partner and make sure that he wasn't uncomfortable with what happened between you. Talk. Discuss. If he's happy, and you're happy, then you can both smile and politely ignore Mom's advice.
A
female
reader, wishes +, writes (30 September 2005):
 No of course not! Most people sleep together before they get married now. If you love each other that much, and both want to get married, it will come naturally whether you have slept together or not. Best Wishes x
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