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The Old Testament says: "It matters not who I am. You will know wisdom when you hear it; in the words themselves, not by who says them"

< Prev12345Next > [5 pages, 163 answers]

Infatuated with my married boss when I have a boyfriend too!

Q.   I am 19 years old and I have a boyfriend of three years now. I just did something I am not proud of at all, but at the same time I can not stoping thinking about it... I committed into someone's affair! He is my manager-38 years old--3 children.. ...

A.   23 April 2009: Do you want to be powerless and exploited by your boss? Only to have him kick you out of his bed and lay you off when he tires of you and finds another 19 year old employee to take advantage of? If so stay at your current job. Other... (read in full...)

Loving them both, and can't risk losing them both!

Q.   I have been on and off with my girlfriend for 4 years. Each time we break up feels like the end of the world. 6 months ago I met a woman that has taken my breath away in every way. Now I find myself loving two women. I can not take losing them ...

A.   23 April 2009: Old joke; Rich man trying to decide which of 3 girlfriends to marry. Gives each one $100,000 to spend any way they want. One invests, one buys the best education possible, and one goes on a world tour to understand all she can about different ... (read in full...)

Second child is on the way and I am worried about the consequences "down there"

Q.   Ok,i am going to have my 2nd child in 2 months time and am worried about what"damage" this may have"down below".My partner says that after the birth of our 1st child he felt no difference,but i'm not so sure as i can feel with my fingers that there ...

A.   22 April 2009: "My partner says that after the birth of our 1st child he felt no difference,...i don't feel a difference during sex" One last thing. If he says no difference, take him at his word. If you don't feel a difference, you two are good to go. If ... (read in full...)

He wanted to be single so I broke up with him but now he's uncertain

Q.   I'm not getting over my ex and I dont really want to either. My boyfriend of 3 years revealed to me he wanted us to go on a break as he never had a single life, he was busy doing other things and didnt get toghether with many girls at all. He is ...

A.   22 April 2009: "I did a stupid thing and went down to see him at the weekend. One thing led to another inevitably..." Well, I don't consider it stupid. Hopefully years in the future you can look back at this last time with found memories. When you man asks you... (read in full...)

Is he trying to give me hints? Or just being friends?

Q.   There is this guy, that I have known for approximately 4 months now. He is a year older than me and is in the same undergraduate program as I am. I met him in an extracurricular club Im a member of and we started out just as friends. He was ...

A.   22 April 2009: Well, I'm not answering the question you asked but that is only because I don't know the answer. I could guess but you are in a much better position to guess than me. Look to see how he behaviors with other people and other available girls. If he ... (read in full...)

Only 3 days to prove to him that I love him!

Q.   Okay here it goes i will have three days to prove to him that i love him and want to be with him and to make him see that we can be happy together!! Tell me what to do ! please! WE will also be around other people so help me please just give me the ...

A.   22 April 2009: “just things to do !!” As stated below, be yourself. That is the person you want him to fall for, isn’t it? “things to say!!!” You like him, you admire him, you are impressed by what he has done. And then say something coy as you are par... (read in full...)

Any special rules on DC?

Q.   Are there any rules on this site for answering quesions as an AA? Any rules of etiquette? taboo subjects? good form? Or if this site like a knife fight? (Aint no rules in a knife fight.) I have looked around the site and have not found any. ...

A.   22 April 2009: Thanks for all the responses. I wanted to see what the posters think the rules should be; I’ll endeavor to stay inside the guidelines you all listed below.... (read in full...)

I don't want us to break up..help!

Q.   My girlfriend broke up with me when she was on holiday. I told her i was fine with this and i went away myself skiing for a week. Whilst there i had an accident that meant i should be dead but i have survived with considerably minor injuries. Upon ...

A.   22 April 2009: First, calm your spirit. Next look reality in the face and see it for what it is. Third, if you love someone, set the free. If they come back to you they are yours. If not they never were. I’m sure you feel things are a lot more comple... (read in full...)

Second child is on the way and I am worried about the consequences "down there"

Q.   Ok,i am going to have my 2nd child in 2 months time and am worried about what"damage" this may have"down below".My partner says that after the birth of our 1st child he felt no difference,but i'm not so sure as i can feel with my fingers that there ...

A.   22 April 2009: And another thing about squeezing. You can do it constantly or in rhythm (squeeze on the in stroke and release on the out stroke. Experiment and see what works best for you two. Best of luck in everything.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend told lies in email

Q.   hi, i have just read an email in my out box by my boyfriend to a woman he works with. In it he says that he was very much in love with a woman who was married, she left her husband to be with him only to leave him weeks later saying she was n...

A.   22 April 2009: “I have tried work out why he would write such a thing to a work colleague but i come to no conclusions, i am 100% sure its lies.” Well, I have three guesses: 1. The woman he works with, to whom he sent the e-mail, is going through a troublin... (read in full...)

Second child is on the way and I am worried about the consequences "down there"

Q.   Ok,i am going to have my 2nd child in 2 months time and am worried about what"damage" this may have"down below".My partner says that after the birth of our 1st child he felt no difference,but i'm not so sure as i can feel with my fingers that there ...

A.   22 April 2009: My wife had 2 children naturally (no incisions, scissor snips or sutures) and yes it was different afterwards but not bad. My wife said sex was better and easier for her after the first child; less struggling to get in and get started. This soun... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's ex flirting with him -- in front of me!

Q.   Hello. So, I was wondering if you could give me some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for four months now and have been very strong together. I know I'm young but don't worry I am not doing anything illegal or anything I will regret, n...

A.   22 April 2009: Well, do you want to know if your boyfriend notices and likes the flirting, or do you want him not respond? If you want him not to respond, and have already confronted him and it did not work, you could try writing him (e-mail, note, etc.) Som... (read in full...)

Can I be in trouble with the law for kissing his wife?

Q.   After I kiss a married woman and she left to home the husband come to me with many questions he can do something by the law againt me? ...

A.   21 April 2009: In the United States the law would only be involved if the married woman did not WANT you to kiss her and you forced yourself on her. Of course the married woman may lie to her husband, and say you did more than just kiss. Or the husband may lie to ... (read in full...)

How many white guys find Indian women a turn on?

Q.   I am an Indian Girl. I have always been attracted to White Guys. This is kind of a poll question. How many white guys find Indian women a turn on? Is the dark skin a turn off?...

A.   21 April 2009: White woman around the world spend dozens of hours a year lying in the sun to get tan. Together they spend billions of dollars a year on tanning lotions and tanning booths. Do you think they would do this if their men did not like dark skin? ... (read in full...)

Even although I've had anal sex before and it didn't hurt, why did it hurt so badly this time?

Q.   I've had anal sex before... quite a few times and all has been fine. Even my very first time didn't hurt at all. However... it's been a few months since and my boyfriend now wants to try it again.. so we try to.. but it hurts so much I'm in agony ...

A.   21 April 2009: Google "hemorrhoids" Maybe the problem, maybe not.... (read in full...)

How can I be with her in the position I'm in? We are really great friends and yet I'm in love.

Q.   I have a friend she is great. She makes me happy just to be around her. Sshe knows exactly how to make me smile. We work in the same store and she is a manager now and I'm a regular employee. She used to be a specialist which means when the managers ...

A.   20 April 2009: “What do I do? If I ship out I'm gonna lose her but if I stay I can't have her.” Well if you can’t have her either way, she does not enter into the decision. If you had not met this woman what you want to do? That is what you should do. (H... (read in full...)

Follow up: It's all so confusing for me part 2

Q.   This is a follow up to a question I put on here on the 17 April under the title. "It's all so confusing for me" http://www.dearcupid.org/question/its-all-so-confusing-for-me.html. Since the post I have made things worse I went and got drunk and ...

A.   20 April 2009: “…I have made things worse I went and got drunk and the guy she keeps texting was saying he reckon he could get her into bed and provide pictures by the end of the month. I was so drunk and angry that I bet him a £100 pound he couldn't as I knew she ... (read in full...)

Fiance is a jerk and she likes a better guy....

Q.   ...Back again! Now, for another teacher question. This one's not really about me and a teacher relationship thingy (which broke off...um, 2 months ago i think) it's about another teacher. Ok, so the teacher I'm talking about is currently engage...

A.   20 April 2009: It is none of your business. Do you understand that concept? You have no right to but into someone else’s life that did not ask you to. Just because it is your teacher does not give you any interest in her private life. If you “came across it"... (read in full...)

Is my Aunty dating my ex?

Q.   My aunt had sex with my ex-boyfriend(he was my boyfriend until they had sex, but I dumped him) and he's 17 and she's 32. They talk on the phone and go places together like they are a couple which they claim they are not and she is walking around ...

A.   20 April 2009: "...I do not know what to do?" You need to stay as far away from both of them as possible. Your Aunt, you are likely going to have to talk to her sometimes; be nice and answer her but keep the conversation light and trivial. Your ex, stay a... (read in full...)

Is he trying to give me hints? Or just being friends?

Q.   There is this guy, that I have known for approximately 4 months now. He is a year older than me and is in the same undergraduate program as I am. I met him in an extracurricular club Im a member of and we started out just as friends. He was ...

A.   20 April 2009: "I sent him an email telling him that I liked his photography and asking him about other stuff!" Telling him you admire him and the things he does is good. But every few days say something to him that will leave him thinking of YOU. Two ex... (read in full...)

Should I just wait to see where things go? Or is this just a lost cause?

Q.   There's this guy that I've known for around 2 months now. For around the first few weeks we got along reeeally good and flirted a lot. We have like exactly the same personality. Then for a few weeks after that he started distancing himself and not ...

A.   20 April 2009: "Should I just wait to see where things go? Or is this just a lost cause?" Well, where do you want things to go? If you want thing to go anywhere, I'm guessing you are going to push things, and not just wait and see. In the old days, if a l... (read in full...)

Does she still likes me and ignores me just to try and make it easier?

Q.   A while back two of my good friends split up. He felt she was too close to me, and was jealous, and she couldn't stand it, which brought all kinds of things up between them. I tried to be there for them both, but he blamed me and wouldn't talk to ...

A.   20 April 2009: "What should i do?" Well you have two choices: 1. Leave things as they are and remain casual friends. 2. Try to win her back. If you pick the first option you know what the outcome will be. If you pick the second choice, there ... (read in full...)

I didn't make a move on him one time and now he's really off with me.

Q.   I need help, I'm really confused. Me and boyfriend have always been intimate. However recently he is losing interest ever since I didn't make a move on him one time and now he's really off with me. He's not usually like this, he called himself a ...

A.   19 April 2009: "However recently he is losing interest ever since I didn't make a move on him one time and now he's really off with me. He's not usually like this, he called himself a pig for being distant." He is acting immature. Looking at your age group I ... (read in full...)

Is he trying to give me hints? Or just being friends?

Q.   There is this guy, that I have known for approximately 4 months now. He is a year older than me and is in the same undergraduate program as I am. I met him in an extracurricular club Im a member of and we started out just as friends. He was ...

A.   19 April 2009: "I really like him, as not only is he a great guy but he is always so encouraging and tries to involve me in everything." I'm going to assume you WANT him to be more than just a friend. So don't fool with trying to figure out if he is hinting ... (read in full...)

Should I ask the 12th grader out?

Q.   hi i'm in high school i'm 17 years old . i like this guy at my school who is in 12 grade i'm in 11 grade do you think i should as him out ? and i have been with a guy or two and everyone is mad that i keep talking to their man but if i don't talk to ...

A.   19 April 2009: "i like this guy at my school who is in 12 grade i'm in 11 grade do you think i should as him out ?" Sure, why not? That is frequently what people do when they like someone. The worst that can happen is he says no, and that is going to happen t... (read in full...)

Can't Seem to Ejaculate All of a Sudden - Help!

Q.   How's it goin' ya'll? I've got a few questions, although I'm still pretty new here. Actually, frankly, this is my first question. I have a few inquiries about the sex life both my girlfriend and I enjoy. Well, really, it was being enjoyed, t...

A.   19 April 2009: It happens to most guys sooner or later. Usually no reason why and no reason why the problem goes away. So just relax. Tell you girl friend almost all men can and will perform with a woman they do not love, how else could their be prostitu... (read in full...)

I can't make any sense of a relationship.

Q.   Ok, so I took a job in Dubai. I met an Asian girl during my 1st month there. We had a date, but then lost contact, then bumped into each other again. I have a problem with girls, I often get like anxious. I talk to lots of girls and take lots of ...

A.   18 April 2009: “I can't make any sense of a relationship.” Whoa there, Bro’. I can hardly make sense of your question. But I’ll try with the part I think I understand. “I have a problem with girls, I often get like anxious…kinda get obsessive and ... (read in full...)

My scars look really ugly and I'm dreading the summer.

Q.   I really just wanted a male perspective on scars, but girlies if you have any words of wisdom that would be fab too. I have an ongoing knee instability that has required quite a bit of surgery and has left me with lots of long ugly scars, I really ...

A.   17 April 2009: There are all types of men with differences in what they like/don’t like. It ranges from men who don’t want to see a single blemish to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attraction_to_disability (Warning some of the text in the above text is... (read in full...)

How can we make this work without losing each other?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. We first dated in grade nine for about a month, then he dumped me because he said he wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship and didn't want to hurt me. Almost immediately he started ...

A.   17 April 2009: “How can we make this work without losing each other?” Not my words but many have found guidance in this over the decades: “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you there are yours. If they don’t they never were.” ... (read in full...)

What do you guys think? Do I no longer want boys?

Q.   I'm in a really complex situation right now. ok, I had an ex for 10months but we dated back in high school (the senior years) its been almost 2years since our break up, but during that time we'd use to flirt and always looked like we were going to g...

A.   17 April 2009: “What do you guys think? Do I no longer want boys?” I think you like boys all right; you like to jerk them around, play with their feelings, make them endlessly chase you only to have you spurn them. That sounds cruel but that’s what I’m ... (read in full...)

Should I give the one-millionth and one chance or should I just finally accept it is hopeless

Q.   O.k. Where to start? I have been married for 15 years and I know I want separation, but unsure if I want a Divorce. We have done the marriage counseling for the first time in January after my final ultimatum he finally agreed to go. Always ...

A.   17 April 2009: “Should I give the one-millionth and one chance” I believe the chance is zero. Abusive, accusing, can’t control his anger? You have to split. It is going to be hard for a while, on you and your kids, but you can pull out of that. If you st... (read in full...)

How do I get over a broken heart? I love him and want him back although he is not worth it?

Q.   Dear Cupid, Two nights ago my boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me. He was my first boyfriend and my first kiss, I was and still am completely in love with him. I had noticed he had been a bit off with me around other people but when we were alo...

A.   17 April 2009: “How do I get over a broken heart?” You don’t. That is to say you don’t do anything to get over it, it just mends itself overtime. This is your first time through so I’m guessing you don’t believe me, but you will likely get a few more chanc... (read in full...)

Am torn between 2 guys..my bf and my best friend!! what to do?!?! confused!!

Q.   hi i am 20 and m with a guy for d last 3 yrs. this guy, my bf was gud...very sweet at first...but as time passed he has changed a lot...not as a person but surely his habits have changed. now he drinks ..smokes..gambles...n is alwayz out busy with ...

A.   16 April 2009: This is going to sound simple but I know it may not be that simple for you, but: 1. What do you want and need from you man? 2. Is V of your BF likely to give you more of what you want and need? 3. Which one do you love? 4. Which one love... (read in full...)

Terrible Guilt for my husband

Q.   Hi. im going through a terrible time. I have a 1 year old and a husband who I am divorcing. We have been married nearly 3 years but have been on and off for 9 years - he is very emotionally unstable when it comes to love and relationships. Wh...

A.   16 April 2009: Well, I’m not qualified to address most of your situation, so I’ll only talk about a couple of small parts I know a bit about. 1. Get the biggest financial settlement the law allows, and tell your husband after your daughter’s needs are met, y... (read in full...)

Do you think I can have sex in the future, with my problem right now?

Q.   I was wondering if I had a problem. I try to use tampons instead of pads, but I can't seem to fit them in. I have a light flow for about 4 days,every 5 weeks. I thought that may be the problem, but I'm not sure. All of my friends use tampons and ...

A.   16 April 2009: Google “Microperforate hymen” or look under that heading here: http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/hymen.html Maybe this applies to you, maybe not. ... (read in full...)

Should I risk asking her out? Or just leave things?

Q.   Okay. First of all, I have a friend, shes a girl. We arn't exactly the closest friends in the world but I think we get on quite well. So, I have exams next week and some people and I decided to get together for a whole revision session and my friend ...

A.   16 April 2009: “Should I risk asking her out? Or just leave things?” Yes. The uncertainty you are feeling about what to do? Get used to it; it is the normal way relationships start. You are always going to have to decide if you should risk asking her out o... (read in full...)

He wanted to be single so I broke up with him but now he's uncertain

Q.   I'm not getting over my ex and I dont really want to either. My boyfriend of 3 years revealed to me he wanted us to go on a break as he never had a single life, he was busy doing other things and didnt get toghether with many girls at all. He is ...

A.   16 April 2009: Well, I have 2 guesses: 1. Your boyfriend does not know what he wants. 2. He knows what he wants, and it is to keep you and chase after other girls at collage. If you know what you want in a relationship, and he is giving it to you, you can try... (read in full...)

I'm always on the receiving end. What can I do to be the giver too?

Q.   my b/f is really good in making out and in bed , he has experience , while me on the other hand i just find myself on the receiving side , he kisses me all over , licks , sucks , plays .. all but i dont know what to do where to kiss him beside the ...

A.   16 April 2009: 1. Do you want to give more because you want to, or because you think he wants you to do more? 2. Some men like doing all the work, so he may be OK with the way things are with you two now. 3. If you are not OK with things now and want to do more,... (read in full...)

Forced to watch her in relationships right in front of me. HATING every second!

Q.   Almost a year ago I met a girl who I became instantly infatuated with. Unfortunately my feelings were never reciprocated and I have made the great mistake of befriending her, leaving me in what seems to be an impossible position. This girl has ...

A.   15 April 2009: Well, not to be cruel of flippant, but it sucks to be you. Sometimes life throws a problem you can’t fix. I’m pretty sure that is what you have got. Your choices are live with it and move on, or let it beat you, grind you down, eat away at ... (read in full...)

Yep, it's true - 30 year old virgin

Q.   So guys and gals, I am a 30 year old virgin. I was a late-bloomer, then had a really busy career and moved around a lot and then it turned into this vicious cycle thing where I figured everyone would think I had had sex by then and I didn't want to ...

A.   15 April 2009: As others have said, men around the world traditionally value virgins. For them it means tightness and going where no man has gone before, which they like. For you, maybe not so much. You might want to Google “hymen” and try to figure out if yo... (read in full...)

Relationship problems with an ex

Q.   Hello: I just recently went back with and ex boyfriend of mine been together for a week ok my daughter's father is the problem he's a jealous type he's the type who will just show up and if he f...

A.   15 April 2009: “…I am going to have to take a deep breath and do…” Exactly. You know what you have to do, you have said so in your post. You just have to be strong and do it. Lots of (too many) other woman have been in the same situation as you and have got... (read in full...)

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