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... Send *tarismine1 a private message | | | *tarismine1's profile:Hi everyone, I've been there, and I know what it's like to have crushes on guys who don't care about you, date guys who are verbally abusive, date addicts and alcoholics, play hard to get and still not get the guy, and blame myself for scaring a guy off by having sex "too soon". I now know that it's all about my attitude, and I want to share my philosophy about dating with all of you. I believe women are confused by the dating myths and rules that don't work in today's dating world. I share many of my views about dating, finding Mr. Right and true love on my relationship advice website www.isthistruelove.com so I welcome all of you to read more by clicking on my link below. It's my goal to empower women to feel good about their needs and desires when they date guys. I enjoy reading what all of you have to say, dear cupid is a great site! |
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| Latest articles: Understanding Your Need for Attention
No replies yet... 19 September 2008: Are You A Female Attention Addict? If so, here is an example of a typical day in your life: It's morning, and time to put on my make up, fix my hair, and wear a new outfit. I'm thinking about the female friend I'll see today who'll comment on ...
Wanting a Guy to Lust After Us
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 September 2008: Wanting Guys to Lust After Us It’s like an addictive fix, wanting a guy to lust after us. There is an adrenaline rush of pleasure when they lust after us; it makes us feel beautiful, like we are the only one on the planet. But there is a d...
A day in the mind of an attention addict
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 September 2008: A Day in the Mind of an Attention Addict It's morning, and time to put on my make up, fix my hair, and wear a new outfit. I'm thinking about the female friend I'll see today who'll comment on how nice it is and I feel an adrenaline rush, Now I'...
Be careful about the shallow rules on dating!!
No replies yet... 27 August 2008: Dating Rules: Are they a Girl’s Worst Enemy? As women, we are bombarded by books, friends and the TV media telling us what dating “rules” to follow to determine whether a guy is treating us well. These rules tell us whether he’s Mr. Right materi...
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I'm fed up thinking about my ex and I don't like him anymore. Why can't I let him go?
Q. How can I just stop making myself feel awful thinking about my ex boyfriend all the time? It's been 11 months since the break up. Happened because I found out he'd been seeing other women throughout our 2 n half years together. It completely ...
A. 5 September 2008: Your ex fulfilled your emotional need to feel wanted so that you can feel good about yourself. So every call, every contact, every "he's gone, now he's back, over and over again" scenario fills that void in you. It's a tough thing to need someone ... (read in full...)
I'm a shadow of the woman I used to be in my marriage. Has his emotional cruelty turned me into this?
Q. Would love to hear any advice. I am completely overwhelmed with my situation and don't know where to begin to sort it out. For at least the last 10 years of my 15 years of married life I have been unhappy. I have always found my husband to be ...
A. 5 September 2008: Yes, you sound very much at the stage of feeling hopeless about your life and I can see why. But realize your situation is one that is very common for many women, at many varying degrees and is nothing to feel ashamed about. Reaching out for the ... (read in full...)
I'm a needy, clingy guy! How do I change this?
Q. OK, so I'm a needy clingy guy, like all of the girls the guys always talk about being sick of. When I'm with someone, I think about her non-stop, cant wait to call/txt msg/email. I've been seeing this girl for 2 months now, and I think it's starting ...
A. 5 September 2008: okay, it's good that she is giving you no reason to feel insecure about things, and if that is the case, nothing about her past dating history makes you feel insecure, nothing about her behavior in front of other guys gives you a reason to feel ... (read in full...)
Getting him out of my life isn't an option. What can I do to get him back?
Q. I am 16 and i am in love with an ex. When i was 14 I met him,he was 16 and rather gorgous. We went out for a couple of months. It wasnt serious, cause i was only 14, then we split up over him liking my best friend. After that he went round my ...
A. 5 September 2008: You date and sleep with alot of guys, and you get alot of attention from guys, so knowing how you really feel about him can only come from distancing yourself from seeing anyone for a few weeks and really getting in touch with how you feel about the ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or was he just bored and drunk?
Q. Well basically, i had amazing sex with my best guy friend. We always talk, and before this, he would text me near enough everyday, although this had only been going on for about a month beforehand. He knew I liked him, I told him monthssss back, ...
A. 5 September 2008: Do you like him and want to continue seeing him and being intimate? If so, tell him. Maybe he needed to drink to get up the nerve to do something he's wanted to do with you all along, you were friends, now you've moved into lover category, so enjoy ... (read in full...)
I'm a needy, clingy guy! How do I change this?
Q. OK, so I'm a needy clingy guy, like all of the girls the guys always talk about being sick of. When I'm with someone, I think about her non-stop, cant wait to call/txt msg/email. I've been seeing this girl for 2 months now, and I think it's starting ...
A. 5 September 2008: It's interesting that you say you are needy and clingy, yet you are dating a girl who will be gone for 2 weeks. How often does she go out of town? Are you sure you aren't choosing women who give you a good reason to feel insecure? Sometimes men pick ... (read in full...)
Hate to think of them together - my best friend and her boyfriend who I started to like before they even dated!
Q. My best friend, let's call her Rachel, is going out with this boy, let's call him Joe. They were good friends for nearly a year, and I met him through her, so we're friends too. Anyway that's just 'setting the scene' .. basically, I started to like ...
A. 5 September 2008: Honesty is the best policy, you owed it to yourself to tell your friend that you liked him. But she probably senses this anyway and would have still dated him. If you feel upset to the point of being sick about the situation, you have to level with ... (read in full...)
I think he's too shy to ask me out, so what should I do?
Q. Im 16 and there's this guy who i met like 3 months ago and since then we have been flirting/texting/msning/talking a lot like a couple of days a week and i know he likes me - its obvious and he knows i like him but i feel he's too shy to ask me out ...
A. 5 September 2008: Alot of guys are very insecure about asking girls out and just want to keep it friendly If he can't ask you out, he's probably just not mature enough to date girls or he likes the ego attention from you and wants nothing more. I would see his ... (read in full...)
I'm engaged, but seem to have no other social life or friends.
Q. Its taken a bit of courage to write this. I am 19, and have been with my fiancee for 3 years. Is it wierd that i dont have any friends? When i was in school and particulary college, i was very left out and it was rare that i was asked to go out to ...
A. 5 September 2008: This is something of a sensitive subject for me as well, because I've never had many female friends either. Does your mother socialize alot with females? Were you raised around females who bonded and had friends? Did your mother have female friends ... (read in full...)
My guy thinks the kids from his prior marriage are enough, but I think I might want to have kids of my own.
Q. Hi, I'm currently in a relationship with a man that has decided he doesn't want to have anymore kids. We've been together 3 years now and he has two children of his own from a previous marriage. I'm undecided if I want children yet, but have al...
A. 5 September 2008: I have a cat who is my child and for the longest time I felt bad about not having kids because I didn't live up to my mom's expectations of me. Now I see things differently, because I know many women who have children and seem incredibly unhappy ... (read in full...)
My best friend's older boyfriend is trying to force himself on me.
Q. My bestfriends boyfriend is always flirting with me and trying to touch me and i hate when we hang out together and he is right there staring at me and one day we went to the movies together for her birthday i sat next to them and he sat in the ...
A. 5 September 2008: You need to go to your parents and have them consider filing charges against him. He must be formally charged for sexually harassing you. He may eventually rape you. You have to protect yourself.... (read in full...)
An older neighbor has been molesting me for years. How can I heal from this expwerience?
Q. So well...when i was a little girl, i used to wake up earlier then everyone else, so a friend of the family, around my dads age would come and take me in the woods to look at the animals and he used to tell me that we had to hide and stay quite so ...
A. 5 September 2008: I believe that what this man did to you that are sexual molestation, although awful, are not what emotionally cripples you. It is the fact that all this happened to you and nobody in your family seemed to care or notice. And, this man was able to ... (read in full...)
If I get stronger and decide to move on from my sex-buddy will he surrender to me?
Q. i am havin sex with a man that i really fancy.he knows that i like him a lot. but i am a confident woman and i can move on if i have to. he finds me sexy and says i am a good kisser. (cant be a bad thing). what i want to know is if i get stronger...
A. 4 September 2008: Do you need to be a good kisser to be appreciated? Do you need someone to surrender to you? Do you need a man wanting sex with you to feel worthwhile? Confidence in yourself means not "needing" any of this, just desiring a man to care about you and ... (read in full...)
Why did he leave me for her when I was the only one who supported him and accepted his drinking problem? Will he ever come back?
Q. I have been with this man for two years. He lived with me for 9 months. He said that he loved me, but wasn't in love with me. His ex kept his clothes and wouldn't give them back until they talked. He goes over to talk and never comes back. He says...
A. 4 September 2008: The fact that he didn't drink as much with you isn't really significant, because his addictive personality is what you are attracted to. He probably has a sex addiction as well, and is very needy and dependent on you. This behavior is all "addictive ... (read in full...)
Research that has shown negative effects of porn-watching? Why aren't we concerned?
Q. why do some people not care about all the research that has shown exposure to porn causes men to find their real life partners less attractive? I personally have experienced this when my husband started to compare me to the women in porn and a cl...
A. 4 September 2008: And the same study would probably find that after reading Elle magazine with the model Gisselle on the pages, the same study results would occur...men would find their parters less attractive too. When it comes to sexual fulfillment, I believe men ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not get orgasms during sex?
Q. Hi! I am 19 years old and since i was 16 i am having sex. I have experienced a lot of sex and generally i think i am good at it. My only problem is that i cant come. The only way i come in sex and i really mean the ONLY way is when me or the other ...
A. 4 September 2008: your very normal and most women are like yourself. Let your boyfriend know this so he can give you satisfaction the way you desire it, there are many ways he can do this, as you can imagine. Always feel it's okay to tell him, and if he gets insulted ... (read in full...)
My mother completely ruined my life. How can I get it back?
Q. Ok I don't know where to start. Ever since I was young I've had problems with my mother. she was abused and raped from the age of four and her mother died when she was very young leaving no one to look after her and her being put into care. Th...
A. 4 September 2008: You have to believe your mother has not ruined your life because your entire life has not yet been lived...you still have today and tomorrow. You do not have to let your past relationship with her define you. It's easy to feel like you are a victim ... (read in full...)
Do guys care how a vagina looks like?
Q. okay so ive just been watchin this documentry called the perfect vagina and baslicly its a woman makin a documenntry goin round and explorin vaginas lol, shes been askin men if the way a vagina looks puts them off sex and the amount that have said ...
A. 4 September 2008: if a guy is really into you and enjoys sex with you, and is in love with you, he will find every part of you appealing, including that part. And this goes for other parts of your body as well. When a guy is critical of any part of your body, vagina, ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he feels the same way about me?
Q. I'm scared because I never felt this feeling. I've had boyfriends in the past and I think I loved them. It's just that with this guy it's different. Whenever I'm with him I get this funny feeling in my stomach. It's like I'm at peace when I'm by h...
A. 29 August 2008: It sounds like you are both really good friends which can be the basis for a great intimate emotionally fulfilling relationship with a guy, but he may not be ready for a serious relationship with a girl just yet. I suggest that you refrain from the ... (read in full...)
I cheated and don't know what to do
Q. i cheated on my bf of 3 years , after months of his addiction to internet porn, Live web cam teen age girls , not just actors and sctresses. Not sure what to do because I really do care about him....
A. 28 August 2008: It sounds to me like you both may have sex addictions, but for now, I would focus on your need for sex with someone else. Ask yourself whether this addiction is only his? Do you flirt with and crave sex with other men as well? This is a sign you ... (read in full...)
I need a major pep talk! This break up means I can't sleep, can't eat, can't concentrate. Help me PLEASE!
Q. Well, I haven't heard from my ex since Sunday night when she called looking for her things. She drunk dialed me the night before, but I didn't answer it. When I dropped off her things Sunday evening I asked her if she had called me the night be...
A. 28 August 2008: It sounds to me like you are both very emotionally invested in each other and need time apart to let the clouds of your emotions settle. In time, (and time always gives us clarity when it comes to matters of the heart), you will both come to a place ... (read in full...)
Am I being too traditional? How do I get him to commit?
Q. I have a guy friend that I've known for about 3 years. We are both in our mid-twenties, so I feel kind of funny asking a dating question. I've had boyfriends before....anyway. In the past year, he has been the only guy I go out with on dates. ...
A. 28 August 2008: I assume by your question that you only havae a friendship relationship with him and nothing sexually intimate? If you are just friends and never have had any sex, it signifies to me that he just sees you as a friend but your relationship has the ... (read in full...)
I am so confused whether he likes me or not!
Q. Ok hey, first of all i'm sorry cuz this will be soooo long and 2nd im sorry if any of you seem to need mental help after reading this to return your head to a sane state! lol! Now when you read this some of you will probably remember me, but the ...
A. 28 August 2008: One of the things you have to realize is that people of oftn give nonverbal ways of showing someone they like them, so when you sense a guy likes you by his physical behavior, eyes staring, movements, etc. these things are very real. Also, a guy can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's been nasty and treating me like dirt lately!
Q. me and my boyfreind have been together 2 years in october but lately hes been nasty and treatin me like dirt he thinks he can walk all over me i thought it was just in my head and shurgged it off but my friend say i dont know why i put up with it he ...
A. 28 August 2008: Does it seem like he has different personalities? I know what that's like. You feel like you are dating 2 different people. And he is nicer when he's drinking/drunk which is a switch, because most guys I've known who drink get worse when they drink. ... (read in full...)
My stepdaugher is trying to break up my marriage
Q. Stepdaughter in law trying to break up marrige. My husband's daughter tries to stir up trouble by telling lies about me, says I am rude to her, etc. She is 36 years old and has her own family, has always been a daddy's girl and only child. Her...
A. 28 August 2008: You are definitely not alone with this kind of problem, I had a coworker friend who had remarried and her daughter did alot to make her new husband look like a really bad guy. And my friend didn't see it either and blamed him for acting insensitive ... (read in full...)
He dumped me a few days ago because I walk by his house. What now?
Q. Dear cupid .i have been seeing this guy for a few weeks now.the week after we met i told him that i was still a virgin and wasnt ready for sex.well he forced me but never ended so far.he felt bad?well he came to me the following day and told me his ...
A. 28 August 2008: Just realize that if a guy tries to force you to have sex and then doesn't want to see you again, you are better off dating someone else. Walking by his house has nothing to do with his not seeing you, but your willingness to believe he's worth more ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to sleep with someone you are dating?
Q. How soon is too soon to sleep with someone that your dating?? Iv been single for a couple of years and im still none the wiser! Iv done the first date (yes even I know thats too soon, the 5thd date and the 2 month mark but just cant seem to get it ...
A. 28 August 2008: Women shouldn't believe in rules about when it's too soon to sleep with a guy. In my opinion, it's never too soon unless you believe it is. You can have sex on the first date and not scare a guy off, if you do it for your own fulfillment and not out ... (read in full...)
I have a stalker and I need some advice on how to avoid him!
Q. I have a stalker. I am not making this up. For about six months now I have noticed him. I work in the building where he lives, and I never noticed him at first, until he almost knocked me down. Then after that I kept on seeing him. He doesn’t ...
A. 28 August 2008: I would go up to him and tell him you believe he's stalking you and if you see him again around where you are, you will get a restraining order. Hopefully he'll realize he can't intimidate you and will move on. I would make sure you tell the police ... (read in full...)
How do I preserve our relationship when he doesn't respond?
Q. hello.... every1 !! i m a 14-yr-old student answering my Xth this academic year, in love with a 15-yr-old doing his XIth. we've been seeing each other for the last 3 months. he was really very impressive during the 1st month... later slowly we c...
A. 28 August 2008: I see a big future in your life finding love with an amazing guy who will treat you very well. I also sense you have a great sense of humor, lots of friends, but crave attention from guys to feel good about yourself. You are going through a very ... (read in full...)
Is it immoral to fall in love with a married woman with children?
Q. I have been a mentor to a beautiful woman in management. She is an awesome manager now, and married with grown children. We are very good friends only, but we both fell in love with each other, since we both married , we do not have any type of...
A. 28 August 2008: I know people who fall in love while married with other people and in the end, they do end up together. Look at Brad and Angelina, Tori and Dean... perhaps you are both very unhappy and lonely and deserve to find happiness with each other? Only the ... (read in full...)
I don't understand what he wants and his behavior is hurting me. Is he playing with me?
Q. I am a married woman that cheated the husband for the first time with this guy(36 yrs old) I have been talking to for 7 months. During the 7 months he called me every single day and our conversations lasted more than 1 hour in average. We had sex ...
A. 28 August 2008: if you keep communicating with him, he will feel you are still interested in him. The only way to really get him out of your life is to stop needing his attention, because when you can do that, you'll stop answering him and he'll lose interest and ... (read in full...)
Ever since we married it all went downhill. Is the love lost?
Q. Hello, I've been looking through this board and I see a lot of great responses to peoples questions. Well here is mine.... I started dating this gal about 1 and a month ago. Things got really hot really quick and we ended up getting married about ...
A. 28 August 2008: If you felt the need to lie to her about things about yourself, you were manipulating the relationship for fear of losing her from day one. This means that deep in your heart, you knew things wouldn't last if she found out certain truths about you ... (read in full...)
My ex won't let me date
Q. Its been a little over a month since our break up and we were together for two years. He has been texting me several times a day and calling me. He told me he wanted to be friends but the constant texting (some letting me know he was thinking about ...
A. 28 August 2008: It sounds to me like he is into controlling you emotionally, and frankly, do you really even like him to be his friend? How can you respect him for wanting to rein you in and not care about your happiness with someone new? And if you can't respect ... (read in full...)
How can I become a "bad boy"?
Q. theres this girl that ive known for only two months, and she's used to date guys who are the "bad boys" per-say, and i am a guy who likes death and black metal and is a musician, she knows that i like her but she told me that i'm not her type, her ...
A. 28 August 2008: A "bad boy" for most girls are guys who sleep with lots of womenand have addictive personalities. So in order for you to be a bad boy, you would have to be an alcoholic, a drug addict, get arrested, break the law by speeding, and have alot of one ... (read in full...)
I think he's not attracted to me anymore. What can I do to change this?
Q. i dont feel loved by my boyfriend any more.he doesnt show me any affection ..he says he loves but doesnt show it.i want to make him attracted to me again but i dont know how..please help.....
A. 28 August 2008: Much of the time when a guy doesn't act attracted to you or affectionate it has nothing to do with how much he loves you. It often has to do with issues concerning his job or career. I would find out if anything specifically is bothering him such as ... (read in full...)
How do I stay gone from him once I'm gone?? I keep coming back to him as I miss the good things that have been.
Q. I have been in an mostly emotional- sometimes physically abusive relationship for 7 years. We have 3 kids together- I have left this man at least once a year b/c I get to the point where I am so sick of being called a b____ and fat____ or dumb or ...
A. 27 August 2008: the best thing you can do for yourself is to read books on verbal abuse and men who hate women. There are hundreds and many are good, look up authors Patricia Evans and Melodie Beattie. Start finding how to focus on feeling good about yourself and ... (read in full...)
What do guys expect on the first couple of dates?
Q. What do guys expect on the first couple of dates? and how long should you wait before doing anything? ...
A. 27 August 2008: the first date is the time you find out how open to commitment and what relationship goals the guy has, and how emotionally available he is capable of being. That means not focusing on sex or how much he is attracted to you, but focusing on how much ... (read in full...)
Why does he want threesomes after 5 years?! What happens if I say yes?
Q. i am 19 and for the last 5 years i have been with the same person. We now have a gorgeous son who is 5 months old. Ever since the beginning of our relationship everything was fun we didnt have sex untill about a year after we met just recentlly afte...
A. 27 August 2008: It's common for guys to fantasize about having this with their wife/girlfriend, but it sounds like your boyfriend is seriously pressuring you to do this to spice things up. And his timing, after having a child, is very telling. He may feel he's lost ... (read in full...)
Should I enjoy being a prostitute this much? I need money for school.
Q. I wanted to make some money for school and decided to work as a prostitute as it is a quick way to make really good money. My question is this: I am enjoying this a lot, but on TV you are always seeing hookers who hate what they do and hate the men ...
A. 27 August 2008: Do you really love this because you love the guys you meet and the fun of having their friendship, love the sex or love the money or the attention makes you feel special because you never felt special before this? Can you be okay with doing this if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend pushes the limits when I am not ready. Am I too harsh to him?
Q. My boyfriend (hes a few years older then mke) wants to go all the way when I wasn't ready. I did talk to him at least two times but he kept (he would tried an grabbed one of my breats we were in his car. I would him off)on doing it. Then one when we ...
A. 27 August 2008: just talk about sex with him and tell him you don't want to have sex with him now, then don't go to secluded areas where you have intense make out sessions and arouse him to the point where he can't control himself. If you do that, you have to take ... (read in full...)
I'm so sick of all the 'getting drunk and having sex' situations!
Q. how can I handle this? Last night, i went out with my boyfriend and a girl friend. We were just trying to help her because she just broke up with her boyfriend and she wanted to have sex. By the way, her boyfriend was always hitting on me, an...
A. 27 August 2008: it's a good thing that you believe you are sick of it, but be really honest with yourself. You like getting attention from guys, you like hanging out with a girlfriend who has guys lusting after her while she lusts after them. Attention is like a ... (read in full...)
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