A
female
age
41-50,
*uteNcuddley
writes:i dont feel loved by my boyfriend any more.he doesnt show me any affection ..he says he loves but doesnt show it.i want to make him attracted to me again but i dont know how..please help.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 In my experience, men prefer to be with women who are self-confident, accomplished, attractive (of course), and somewhat independent. They tend not to like clingy, needy, insecure, unhappy women.
So my advice to you is to go out and do the things you love to do (and I don't mean focusing on making him happy), get yourself energized with outside activities. Exercise, get your blood flowing, bring that glow of health to your entire body.
Be a little less available, a little more mysterious, don't ALWAYS be there for him. A little uncertainty can bring some new energy to the relationship.
Get yourself a mini-makeover, buy a really great outfit that makes you look and feel like a million bucks (or is it loonies?), invest in a great sexy bra and panty set, jazz up your own self-image.
Instead of feeling needy, be confident about what you bring to the relationship. This will sound counterintuitive, but withdraw subtly from him, create a gap that he's going to need to fill if he wants to be with you. Be a little distracted, don't be there all the time when he calls, make plans without him with your girlfriends, stay busy and active and energized.
Hope this helps!
A
female
reader, starismine1 +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Much of the time when a guy doesn't act attracted to you or affectionate it has nothing to do with how much he loves you. It often has to do with issues concerning his job or career. I would find out if anything specifically is bothering him such as financial/work related things and not focus on his lack of affection as the central problem. It is probably symptomatic of a bigger problem he's dealing with. Do you fight alot? Does he put you down? Aside from no affection, how does he treat you? Does he forget your birthday, never do things for you, stay away from home alot? Try talking to him and digging deeper about what's bothering him.
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