Why is my boyfriend so distant?
Q. hi everyone im in a ldr situation. and ny boyfriend is cold to me like hes always grumpy at me. and bot mood to talk, i dont know whats going on to him, whats bothering him. theres one time i ask him if he is ok? and he said hes fine! but hes bery ...
A. 10 July 2012: So he's not from here or he works in a different country?... (read in full...)
Seriously considering having an affair.
Q. I'll get straight to the point. I am very seriously considering having an affair. My husband has turned into a complete dead fish in the bedroom. He used to be very excited about me, he used to love to touch me, kiss me, lick me, sleep with me. He ...
A. 9 July 2012: I'm not sure how some of these other posters can just encourage you to have a divorce... it's like the one second things are going downhill it's time to pack up and find someone else. NO! Fight through it. Seriously find a way to work it out first. ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend so distant?
Q. hi everyone im in a ldr situation. and ny boyfriend is cold to me like hes always grumpy at me. and bot mood to talk, i dont know whats going on to him, whats bothering him. theres one time i ask him if he is ok? and he said hes fine! but hes bery ...
A. 8 July 2012: As frustrating as this is, you'll have to give him time. There may be something going on with him that he cannot open up with yet. If you can't think of anything that you might have done to upset him, then it's not you. Just be there when he needs ... (read in full...)
I'm receiving mixed signals, need advice!
Q. There's this guy I've been talking to for about a week. We had kinda been interested in each other for awhile, but I started talking to him one day. He seemed extremely happy I talked to him, he said I was gorgeous and he was shy to talk to me ...
A. 7 July 2012: I hated it when guys did that. Just move on. Seems to me that he's toying with you... or getting flack from his buds. If he's interested, let him text you. You'll find a guy who won't be able to stop calling or hanging out with you to the point ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said I can sleep with prostitutes if I wear a condom
Q. I have the most loveliest girlfriend in the world. She is so sweet and adores me. I love her so much and I can't imagine not being without her. Then 2 days ago she said to me she allows me to have sex with prostitutes if I wear a condom. She sai...
A. 7 July 2012: It could be that she wants to eliminate that conversation down the road, so she's telling you it's "OK" now. If you don't want to, just tell her (and stick to your word). I'm sure she'll be relieved ... (read in full...)
My Adult Sons Are Disrespectful And Verbally Abusive. I Could Really Use Some Advise.
Q. I'm 45 with 2 "boys" aged 20 and 22. Both are finished A-Level and College. The oldest works part time 12-16 hours a week mostly in the in the evenings and other than going to football and the gym spends his time either in bed or in front...
A. 4 July 2012: Honestly, kick them out. You give them an ultimatum. Either shape up or ship out. They are big boys. MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR HUSBAND TO BACK YOU UP. Or they will resent you forever.
Stick to your guns, be firm. You are not being selfish. You rais... (read in full...)
I want my parents to accept my 34 year old boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a good several months now. I was over his place today and he was talking about meeting my parents. He never gave a specific date or anything but he was talking about doing it at some point. I just get worr...
A. 4 July 2012: I would suggest to have a lunch or dinner with just you and your parents first. So that when you break the news to them it's not over the phone (less of a shock) and y'all can let out any tension before you bring your boyfriend over. This next part ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me? I’ve had two boyfriends and both have left me.
Q. I am a 27 years old woman who had had two boyfriends: my first boyfriend cheated on me, we were children (15 at the time) but it still hurt so bad I didn’t get a boyfriend for 3 years after that. The second one is a little more complicated. Two ...
A. 1 July 2012: I think your most recent boyfriend was just scared of getting hurt when you would be away from him. If you still have feelings for him you have to try again. If you can't trust someone long distances, how can you trust them when they are just a few ... (read in full...)
Fancy dress party, what can I wear to impress my b/f?
Q. Hi I am going to a fancy dress party at the weekend with my new boyfriend we have been together for 5 months now what is the sexiest outfit to wear to really impress him thank you ...
A. 14 June 2012: Might I also suggest looking at this website for dress ideas and dress cuts
www.netfashionavenue.com ... (read in full...)
Fancy dress party, what can I wear to impress my b/f?
Q. Hi I am going to a fancy dress party at the weekend with my new boyfriend we have been together for 5 months now what is the sexiest outfit to wear to really impress him thank you ...
A. 14 June 2012: If this is a Black Tie event, I would suggest a long cocktail dress. Depending on your body shape, find a cut that works for you. Halter, V cut, and Sweetheart look great. Try not to be too flashy, so do your research on the event (what the theme ... (read in full...)
He's the worship leader at his church and shamed of being gay!
Q. Ok so I posted an ad on Craigslist stating how disappointed I am with the gay community because it seem like most of the gay guys just want sex..so this really nice guy responded to my ad and said that he could relate to me because hes tired of the ...
A. 11 June 2012: My best advice is to just be by his side and take very small steps. Because family and church is so close to him, he won't be able to accept himself just yet. If he says he feels horrible for being gay and wants to torture himself for it, get him to ... (read in full...)
I've had an abortion and now am afraid to go to church or to pray
Q. Had an abortion. Now, I'm afraid to pray or go to the church. Before this, I often find solace in church but now I'm afraid to even pray at home. I try to avoid any religious figures as in printing or etc. What do I do? ...
A. 6 May 2012: Well that depends. What is your denomination? Does your church not believe in abortion? I've never had an abortion but I would recommend talking to someone about this. If you're afraid of your religious figures at the moment, then talk to a human. ... (read in full...)
Is it right to change who you are in the search for a partner?
Q. I often feel very alone and have this need, almost, to have a girlfriend, someone I can listen and talk to and feel completely immersed in conversation without being just friends. A thought occured to me this evening, I don't have to be anyone but...
A. 20 April 2012: Loneliness sucks for sure, but you know what? You'll find that special someone when you least expect it and stop searching. Be yourself because if you don't, you build a relationship on falsehood. ... (read in full...)
I still can't get over his indiscretion of 3 years ago! What can I do without professional help?
Q. To cut the long story short, me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years now. When we first went out, I found out he spoke to his ex behind my back saying sexual things to her. I was absolutely mortified by this, it made me very ill at the time. ...
A. 20 April 2012: Did he cheat on you? If not, then I would kinda get over it. Hate to break it to you like that, but seriously. If it was just one time that he sexted or whatever, then let it go woman! IF HOWEVER, he kept doing it over the course of 3 years, then ... (read in full...)
What did I do wrong? How should I handle this situation?
Q. My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been together for 3 years. We are currently in a long distance relationship. This past weekend, my bf came to visit. As we walked into my dorm, we both noticed a girl staring at him for a long time. After a fe...
A. 20 April 2012: Girl you didn't do anything wrong. He just likes the attention from an old flame and his current lover.
I'd just stay away from him and let him simmer down. Then in a week or so talk about it and ask him what he expected of you in that situatio... (read in full...)
His friends think I'm unfriendly
Q. Hi all. I have been in a relationship with a guy, things are going well between us but the problem is, some of his frnds think im unfriendly. What can i do to prove them wrong and make them like me? What can i also do to improve my relationship with ...
A. 4 March 2012: Did you ask your boyfriend exactly what his friends told you? Because I'll bet that you are very successful and threaten them because you're taking their bro away. Or perhaps you dish out the sarcasm and casual bantering like they do, and they don't ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 4 March 2012: Bring it to his attention immediately. As some of the other aunts and guy posters have mentioned, he might not be completely aware, just focused on the arousal state. If he becomes defensive, that is a warning sign. Get him to professional ... (read in full...)
He's amazing, but he belittles me and doesn't trust me. Calls me goody-two-shoes. Do I end this relationship?
Q. This is hard for me to write, its hard for me to come to terms with, but i think im near the end of my 20 month relationship. Since the day i meet him we became inseparable, he is my first serious boyfriend and its been a wonderful and life changing...
A. 27 February 2012: Hmm, maybe put it to him like this "Why would you want to change me?" Ask him for his reasoning before thinking too deeply into this. Maybe he's just really sarcastic and feels threatened by your personality. ... (read in full...)
He's amazing, but he belittles me and doesn't trust me. Calls me goody-two-shoes. Do I end this relationship?
Q. This is hard for me to write, its hard for me to come to terms with, but i think im near the end of my 20 month relationship. Since the day i meet him we became inseparable, he is my first serious boyfriend and its been a wonderful and life changing...
A. 26 February 2012: I agree with natasia, could you give some more background information about him?
If he has been in prison and had/has issues with substance abuse, consider that this might cause him to distrust you, but not know how to deal with it. He obviousl... (read in full...)
I know I love my boyfriend more than he loves me!
Q. I need some help guys. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. I love him to death. But I'm pretty darn sure that I love him more than he loves me. He tells me he loves me, and I believe him. But it's not the SAME. I know ...
A. 26 February 2012: I did kinda tell him what I've said to you guys and he replied "Look just because we don't see each other every waking minute doesn't mean I take you for granted or anything".
Of course I don't have to see him all the time, but how can I word it ... (read in full...)
I had an abortion and am still grieving-but my boyfriend seems not to care, what should I do?
Q. I need some help to stop feeling angry with my bf about our abortion. I know readers might judge me for having an abortion, that's ok, I judge myself, I know I did the wrong thing, I feel guilty every day and regret my decision greatly. I'm trying ...
A. 25 February 2012: Counseling, friends, a tub of ice cream, anything to help you get it out. Don't worry about your boyfriend right now, focus on YOU and how to get better. It can take a while but I believe in your strength. ... (read in full...)
I think he masturbated on me thinking I was asleep!
Q. Hi... My boyfriend courted me for almost three months (said he's okay with it and he's glad to wait). I told him that if he ever break my trust, I'd break up with him. I also told him that I don't want to break my family's reputation becau...
A. 25 February 2012: He probably was having a wet dream and wasn't fully conscious. Ask him if he remembers, and if he does, talk about it. Don't throw him out just yet.
Keep the faith :)... (read in full...)
Should I tell my g/f about my fetish
Q. Hi there. I'm a 30 year old male and have been going out with my g/f for nearly 4 year's now, we both love each other dearly, we are having our 1st child soon and I think she could be the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. The problem ...
A. 20 February 2012: Good to hear :)... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair or not? He wants all the attention but calls me selfish.
Q. Hi Aunt's.I'd like a little help here please. I have been seeing someone for about 5 years.we enjoy sex together but i have a problem with his selfishness in showing affection to me. He seems to think i should be doting on him all the time,while h...
A. 20 February 2012: Yeah I agree with Honeypie. Guys unfortunately cannot read minds, so you'll have to tell him! Tell him the subtle way "hey hun it'd be super cool and sexy if we could take turns massaging each other" or the blunt way "hey you know it would mean a ... (read in full...)
My husband would rather watch porn and get an erection and masturbate than have sex with me! Where did I go wrong?
Q. I have been married to my husband for almost 14 years and over the last 6 months to a year I have noticed he is into his porn more than he is into me. He came home early one afternoon and asked me if I wanted to have sex with him... I jumped at the ...
A. 19 February 2012: Pornography is a huge issue that many people don't want to admit. It can become extremely addictive, more than a cocaine addiction as some studies have shown. Counseling is the best way to get him to realize that he has a problem and that it's ... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 17 February 2012: I was originally here to gain insight on some of the issues I'm dealing with in my life. But I like to help other people and their situations because sometimes you need that outsider perspective when making a huge decision about a relationship. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my g/f about my fetish
Q. Hi there. I'm a 30 year old male and have been going out with my g/f for nearly 4 year's now, we both love each other dearly, we are having our 1st child soon and I think she could be the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. The problem ...
A. 17 February 2012: Well I would be honest about it. Unfortunately we all have to face that test "If he/she really loves me they won't care", so try it out. Don't put into her mind that its a "weird" fetish. Cuz if you label it as weird, she might think it too. Just ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my ex!
Q. I'm happily engaged to a man who loves me. I do love him, more than I love anyone else in the world. (With the exception of my little brothers) He gives me everything I ever wanted and any normal person wouldn't be on a relationship forum ...
A. 10 February 2012: Your ex is a user. no doubt about it. there are some things that will affect you for the rest of your life and this situation will even more because sex and emotion and oxytocin was involved.
stick with the man you have now and understa... (read in full...)
What do you say when a guy cancels at the last minute?
Q. I text him yesterday telling him that i couldn't do what we originally planed today but i was still free today and we could do something else instead if he wanted to. He text me back yesterday and said i could come to his and watch a movie instead. ...
A. 11 January 2012: Well, you basically told him not to worry, so he's not going to. Guys take things very literal and at face value, so if it bothers you, speak up or he won't pick up on it in the future.
Now if it comes to where you do speak up that this bothers ... (read in full...)
I was never a bad Gf to him. So why has he betrayed me, left me for another? Devastated and I don't know what to do, help please?
Q. I never thought I would feel this way. My bf of a few years left me for someone else. I feel so betrayed and in so much pain. I've seen pictures and facebook post and they are so happy together. It devastates me because he didn't seem that happy ...
A. 10 January 2012: I would suggest moving on, but the best way is to COMPLETELY eliminate him from your life. Delete his #, unfriend and block him on facebook. I say this because if you keep seeing his posts, it'll make u feel worse, and you might feel like making ... (read in full...)
When I try to be affectionate, he blows cold!
Q. He's 17, I'm 16. We met last September at college and have instantly got on. For his birthday he invited me to his house with other (only male) friends.I met his dad. He always pops up on Facebook chat but usually we only discuss college work, but ...
A. 10 January 2012: Just straight up ask him if he's attracted to you and interested in you. If not, then there are plenty out there :)... (read in full...)
I can't go to his house parties and he doesn't want to hang out with me and my friends because of the age difference, and his job!
Q. On my senior year i met this teacher at school. He wasn't my teacher, never was. He was just my UIL coach. When i first saw him i didn't know he was a teacher so i just started crushing on him until i found out he was a teacher, bummer right? ...
A. 10 January 2012: So let me get this straight, you met this guy who still is a teacher at your old school, and you graduated and are of age?
If that's the case I wouldn't approach the other teacher because you don't want to start a fight and make yourself look imm... (read in full...)
Unfaithful husband with problems. Should I keep trying to fix our marriage or just call it a lost cause?
Q. I have been married for 4 year with a beautiful son. I have found out my husband was having a affair with his ex friend's girlfriend and that he was using again. So christmas eve of 2010 he had broke up with me and for the past year we had argu...
A. 9 January 2012: well im not sure what he is using, but they say that a person has to go to rehab 7 times before they can truly be "clean".
if this does turn out to be ugly and over, bring up his drug/alcoholic using in court so that your child doesn't have to ... (read in full...)
I love him. Want to be with him. But how do I stop him from getting so mad at so much I do?
Q. Dear cupid, My and my boyfriend have been togther for one year... And hes my life and i love him very much. But there has beeb such a big problem for a long time, he gets mad at almost everything i do, wearing the wrong cloths, even having lint...
A. 9 January 2012: Have you considered the thought that he might be bipolar or have a form of OCD? He may even have a form of psychosis. Might wanna get it checked out because this could lead to more issues in the future, like physical damage and we want you to be ... (read in full...)
I love my 40 year old teacher
Q. I am 19 years old..and I love my teacher how has 40 years old..I love him so much and I don't know if he loves me or not..what can I do?? help me please....
A. 9 January 2012: You're gonna still have feelings for your teacher (heck I still do) because most likely you have been through a lot with each other like studying, chatting, stressing, etc. Same reason why some people fall in love with their therapists. Keep it ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 years old, and my parents won't let me do anything!
Q. Hello. Thanks for having a great community like this. I hope you can help me with my problem. I'm 19, I go to college and still live at home with my parents. My parents are really strict. They treat me like I'm 5 when I'm clearly an adult. They w...
A. 9 January 2012: boy this is a sticky situation. do your parents provide for your schooling completely? if they do, tread carefully because you dont wanna get your butt thrown out on the street.
try the calm approach. sit them down and tell them all the things y... (read in full...)
What do you say when a guy cancels at the last minute?
Q. I text him yesterday telling him that i couldn't do what we originally planed today but i was still free today and we could do something else instead if he wanted to. He text me back yesterday and said i could come to his and watch a movie instead. ...
A. 9 January 2012: honey, guys have waffle brains. most think in compartments. if you think of a waffle, they fill the little squares with syrup one at a time.
so dont be so hard on yourself! if it doesnt work, say "oh well" and dont be afraid to take initiati... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this bad about yourself
Q. I've always been a shy girl and as the years have gone by i've realised that i also have social anxiety. The anxiety makes in near impossible for me to go out to bars or clubs because i can't handle being around so many people. I think that maybe i ...
A. 9 January 2012: well if you are sure you have social anxiety, i would see a counselor or therapist just to talk things out. doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you if you do seek professional help, you're just smart for getting it asap.
on another note, it... (read in full...)
Husband lost his job, plays PS all day, too tired for sex. Is it me?
Q. Okay so my husband and I have been married about 3 months but have been together for 13 years.... I feel we have a great relationship but lately he's been really confusing me and making me wonder about things..... He loves our kids and does ...
A. 9 January 2012: you might want to read this article (kinda lengthy) but it does address the issues that your husband might be going through. *** dont be deterred by the debate of pornography (unless it is also an issue) because this article is really insightfu... (read in full...)
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