A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im have a question that id love peoples input on. Do guys check out other girls in front of their girlfriends knowing that it makes the girlfriend mad and do they do it for that reason? Or do they really not notice. Every guy ive been serious with was like that, and they always play dumb when i confront them about it. I think they should atleast not do it when were suppost to be spending "us time" but they act like they cant help it. What should i do to reverse the feeling on them? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kalykush +, writes (29 October 2010):
 its human nature to look at other people.
my guy does it now to piss me off but now that i've stopped showing that im jealous i just pretend not to notice... and it's come to an almost complete stop.
you cant stop anyone from lookin at things they see.
my theory... i tell my guy this all the time
HEY its OK to look... just dont be stupid about it and have your jaw on the ground and drooling.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 "As a matter of fact, many men do this KNOWINGLY just to push women's buttons in order to know where they stand with a girl. THEY KNOW AS LONG AS SHE GETS JEALOUS AND UPSET, they HAVE HEr."
I have to disagree with that statement, I don't know what facts you're basing that on, but they're balderdash. Any guy who's ever been in a relationship before knows that a jealous and upset girlfriend = a lot more work for him. It benefits nobody.
Many guys may deliberately make a girl jealous when she isn't his girlfriend- (I know I have), but to say that MANY guys do this KNOWINGLY to make their GIRLFRIEND jealous and upset... that's just not accurate. If a guy wanted to make his girlfriend jealous- why not just say, "wow, check out the rack on that waitress!! AROOOOOGA!!!"...? TA-DA!!! Jealous and upset girlfriend objective achieved.
In my opinion the vast majority of times this happens, it is not something that is done intentionally or knowingly.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (29 October 2010):
Well said person12345... :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): It depends. If its just a subtle casual quick 5 seconds glance then its unintentional. Like the others on here said, even we women do this too. Its normal. But when its a long glance and a second glance then its intentional. BUT.....................it doesn't mean the guy wants her. As a matter of fact, many men do this KNOWINGLY just to push women's buttons in order to know where they stand with a girl. They know as long as she gets jealous and upset, they HAVE HEr. But if she ignores them and pays no attention, then they never know where they stand with her, HENCE, they work harder and pursue her more. The same way men intentionally forget to call and stay out late. My BF one day stood me up for a date without calling. I ignored his calls for two weeks, and when he got me on the phone I acted like nothing happened and brushed him off the phone saying I was busy. The next time we spoke he apologized, brought me flowers and planned a special date on a dinner cruise for us. And He HAS NOT STOOD ME up SINCE. When he does it, try looking at men and checking them out....he'll stop it. LOl Whatever you do...NEVER SHOW you are upset!!! Act like you are aloof or you didn't notice.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (29 October 2010):
 You probably do it too without realizing. If it's just quickly looking at someone, everyone does that. Most guys I've known say they usually do it so sub-consciously they honestly don't even realize they're doing it. It's like a momentary thing that 5 seconds later they don't remember doing it. I mean it's just looking at someone. Unless they're slowly mentally undressing someone and getting distracted to the point of being incapable of conversation or walking into things, it's best to let it go. I mean it's just looking. We all look at things unless we're blind. You don't even know if they were checking out or just surveying surroundings. And I bet if you examine your own behavior you'll realize that even if you're not consciously checking guys out, you notice people and go oh hey, he's attractive. It's really not a big deal. Unless he's being rude and staring/doing double takes and such, you've got to let it go. I was once really bothered by a boyfriend doing this, but then I realized I had started to actively scrutinize him every time an attractive woman went past. I made an effort to just stop looking at him, suddenly the problem "magically" disappeared.
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A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (29 October 2010):
In my expericene, bith men and women do this...not to wind up thier other half, but maybe out of curiosity.
Everyone likes to look at something beautiful/attractive..be it a woman or an inanamte object like a painting or sculpture (not that I am comparing a woman to an IO!!)
I think guys tend on the whole to be less subtle than women.
Why dont you make a joke of it instead of getting upset...you could alway turn it around when yr man looks at another woman and say something like..." I bet she cant cook/ make X like I do"..etc
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 October 2010):
The truth is most guys do it because that's the way we are. Women do it too, but they're either more subtle about it, or they're kidding themselves.
It's not about 'reversing the feeling'. It's about making it clear that you don't want him looking whilst you're beside him. If he can't control it, then perhaps he doesn't have that much respect for you. Guys can control it when they have to. But genuinely, sometimes we just do it and don't notice at all.
As for guys doing it on purpose, there are a few that will. You just need to look at your relationship and decide whether your guy is doing it on purpose or not. Look at how he treats you all the time, not just when you're out and he happens to look at another woman.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Hi well i honestly dont think that men do this so that there girlfriend will be angry if am honest with you its just what men do and they dont mean any harm and they probably dont even realise that they are doing it and that is why the act dumb then when you mention it because they probably dont even realise they do it, dont take it personally at the end of the day as long as they are only looking and not touching they are with you not the other girls so try not to take it to heart.
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