A
female
age
30-35,
*ookipa-22
writes:Why is it so hard to get into a relationship? I can't even get a date only a one night stand. The men that want me are too feminine, if i wanted a sensitive partner id turn to women. All the stuck up preps get the guy while the socially awkward girl is pussed to the side... again and again. It would hurt less if every guy I liked didn go for my friends. I like to think of myself ass a good person, it shouldn't be so hard to find a companion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): Find a new place to hang out with less preps. Might sound silly, but if you are not trying for the kind of guys who are hitting on you, you need to move elsewhere.
I had to laugh last night...I was at one of my favorite bars just to have a drink and watch the game. It is a kinda tex mex biker-ish bar. For some reason, there were a whole lot of geeky, nerdy guys there. One was trying (God bless him) to hit on the bartender, Kim. I know her for a while, and she is pretty much a biker chick who goes for bad boys. Here is this guy, looked like he lived with mom, and after he asked why there was an upcharge for his side salad and arguing that the Stoli in his drink should not be charged as a premium, he tells her how he enjoyed his burrito and asked "what is the spice I am tasting in that". She just looked at him like WTF. Some guys just don't have any skill. You don't get women by cornering them with nerdy questions they can't answer about cuisine or the quality of liquors.
Not the same situation, but an example of the wrong guy after the wrong girl in the wrong place. He was very "feminine" which made me think of it.
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (31 October 2010):
 Without seeing you or knowing you, there is no way that any of us can really evaluate this situation. Are you setting your goals too high perhaps? Do you find something wrong with every guy? How do you carry yourself? Are you giving off any vibes for example: desperation, or "you aren't good enough for me"...see what I mean? We can't know these things. Have you asked your friends to watch you in action and let you know what they think? Its a thought...certainly there has to be some nice guys out there. What kind of situations are you putting yourself into? Are you going to places where you can meet nice guys? Think about this, and perhaps you'll get your answers. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): It is doll. Part of why I moved away cause it was a nightmare finding a lady. Plus, the assholes put me outta business lol. Head up tho...if you know what you want in a guy u can find it. Have ur friends or fam try to hook u up too, thats something i never did and it may have been wise to do so. good luck.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (31 October 2010):
 Are those spelling errors, or Freudian slips, ore deliberate taunting?
Often this kind of frustration comes from having ill defined goals. In other words it is hard for you to find what you want when you don't know what you want. Did you want a date,or a one night stand, or a companion, or a relationship? Those things are all different and sometimes mutually exclusive.
Did you want boyfriends or girlfriends or boyfriends? Do you think of your friends as boy stealing , stuck up, "preps"? If so why do you take them along when you are looking for guys? Do you think that you need their social standing to be accepted yourself?
Are you looking in the right places for the kind of guy you want? Or are you offering the wrong bait for the fish you want to catch. By being too assertive you could be drawing guys who are unable to stand on their own.
I think that mostly you need to sit down and decide what exactly your goal is. Then define a plan to get it. Do try not to hurt others in getting what you want.
FA
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (31 October 2010):
 Its all about finding someone who is somewhere between the two extremes... the overly feminine, shy, nice guy and the cocky, confident jerk.
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