She's a special girl to me, but she's a virgin... and wants to stay that way!
Q. I used to be a guy that dates lots of girls till I met this girl. We have been dating for a while now and I really love her. But she is a virgin and has refused to make love to me. I have tried to be faithful but I am at my ends. What do I do? ...
A. 5 June 2005: There may be nothing you can do about it. You two might not work out, because you have big differences on something so crucial in a relationship. If you can't stand having to wait for as long as she does, then you gotta end it. Does she want to ... (read in full...)
There's almost no sex any more, but when she's in the mood, she loves it!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8-9 months and in the beginning we were very romantic and haivng sex daily. For the past month or so things slowed down and now they are at a complete stand still. She has no drive at all and has ...
A. 5 June 2005: Hey, man. I'm weathering the same storm you are, but things have gotten better. I started to despair and question myself just like you are. We had sex at least every other day, usually twice a day, so what happened? What did I do to make her ... (read in full...)
Is it a cultural difference, or was I imagining that he was attracted to me?
Q. Yes. I know this is REALLY immature. But, anyway. I should say, straight up, that my parents are Israeli, I'm American born and raised, and I live in Canada. This guy is Canadian, and his parents are Pakistani. I mention this b/c my Asian friends ...
A. 29 May 2005: No telling what was going on in his head, but it seems like he was. Something about you turned his head, because guys normally look at a girl so many times if they think she's hot. I strongly believe he's attracted to you, but he only wants to be ... (read in full...)
Even after four years, I can't get Holly off my mind and I can't move on!
Q. Hi Everyone, Thanks first for anyone who reads this. I do have a love related dilemma and it is taking over my life. And it has done really for the past 5 years. I am 25 now, but when I was 18 I started my first job as an office junior. I reall...
A. 29 May 2005: Hey, Paul. I feel for you, brother. I think the other answers here are very excellent, but as they say... the heart wants what the heart wants. You haven't been able to shake her off, after so many years. I won't find fault with you here. I ... (read in full...)
My b/f claims he looks at porn out of "boredom". Is that possible?
Q. Hello. I see from having looked at your site that this is a common problem. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years. We have a wonderful friendship and we are very affectionate towards each other. Our sex life has been fairly s...
A. 29 May 2005: Porn gets such a bad rep from family and religion and morality that it's hard not to hate it, but it doesn't always cause harm. Unless he is neglecting you in the lovemaking department, you shouldn't worry about it. He will respect you more if you ... (read in full...)
I took my boyfriend home to meet the family, and he snogged my sister!
Q. I really need someone's advice....I brought home my boyfriend of about 3 months to my family and they all seemed to like him. My older sister has had a steady boyfriend of about 2 years and he was there too. Me and my partner get on really well and...
A. 29 May 2005: I read through this a couple times, and it seems like your problem is more about your sister than this guy, and it should be. Men come and go, but never forget your family. This is a low blow, but I think you need to get things straight with her. ... (read in full...)
He's married and 39. I'm 17. Can we make a go of it?
Q. Hiya, I'm 17 years old and I'm having an affair with a married man of 39. He looks good. We are always having a laff. He's always there for me and we are great together. We're talking about making a proper go of things. I've never felt so good and...
A. 29 May 2005: Can you make a go of it? Yeah. Will it work? No. Doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. You could have a fling, as you say, maybe seeing him now and then and having sex if it goes there. But it can't last. I hate guilt trips, but this is ... (read in full...)
I worked up the courage to talk to her, but now I want her more than ever!
Q. I have known a girl at College for both the years I have been there. She is a great person and sadly we didn't talk much, since I was always too shy and kept my social circle to virtually only male friends. Weeks ago I realised we were leaving ...
A. 29 May 2005: Just think about it, man. Simple logic. Two possiblities: Possibility one is telling her how you feel and risk it all. There's a chance if you get the nerve to tell her you might be able to win her heart. Maybe you won't, but you can't de... (read in full...)
Sex is so infrequent now that I wonder if I should even bother staying with him...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and get along pretty great. I am in love with him and I know he is with me. When we first met, we used to have sex frequently, now it is maybe once every 3-4 months. I would like to be with him...
A. 28 May 2005: I don't know your man, but you say he loves you. If you talk about it and he says it's not you, maybe it isn't. Maybe he just has problems getting it up (the physical side) or feeling lust (the mental one). Before you break up with him, at least ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 2 months and we're thinking of moving in together. Should we?
Q. I am in need of advice. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 20. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. Up until a week ago we would commute two hours to see each other on the weekends. For the past few weeks we talked about living together...
A. 28 May 2005: I say you should try it, since even if it fails you will gain some ancient wisdom about living with a man. I am for this only if you have a place to go if things go wrong, which they probably will (has happened to me), and people who love you who ... (read in full...)
First he ended it abruptly, now he wants to start up again. My head is spinning...
Q. I'm a 22 year old girl and I very quickly fell in love with someone and then he abruptly finished it. Although it was only a few weeks we had grown very close and spent as much time as we could together. There was no real warning that it was going ...
A. 23 May 2005: Love makes you do crazy things, good and bad. Your love for this guy is making you dizzy and blind, or maybe drunk. Either way, you gotta see he's playing games. Games aren't usually real and serious, and games rarely lead to anything meaningful. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my boyfriend doesn't seem to pay as much attention to me lately...
Q. I feel like my boyfriend doesn't pay as much attention to me as he used to in the beginning of our relationship. What do I do to get him to pay more attention to me? ...
A. 23 May 2005: Sounds like the chase is over and he's in a hammock having you serve him lemonade. Now you're competing against his other interests for attention, maybe his friends, video games, sports, cars, Star Wars, domino topple, whatever. You should try ... (read in full...)
No boyfriend... What can I do?
Q. I am a loner. Most of the girls in my year have boyftriends but I don't. What shall I do?...
A. 23 May 2005: Hey, I remember before I dove onto the dating scene I felt the same way too. I kicked myself for being the only one in my crew to always be dateless, and thought that the reason I wasn't happy was I never had a girlfriend. Having someone is great, ... (read in full...)
I worry about her flirting, but she tells me it's not a problem!
Q. My girlfriend is s terrible flirt. I can usually deal with this when it happens, as it just seems like harmless fun. However we were out the other night and I noticed that her flirting with this guy was very similar to how she was with me when we ...
A. 23 May 2005: Not a good situation, friend. Sounds like the core of the problem is your fear. Fear of starting an argument, fear of rejection, fear of confrontation. You know something is off. You know that flirting to that extent is against all conventional ... (read in full...)
It's hard to keep a conversation flowing with my new guy... Is he shy? Intimidated?
Q. I've just started dating this guy but I can't tell if he's shy or intimidated by me! I had to make the first move because of his shyness, and when we go out together i have to instigate all conversation. I really like him and don't want to gi...
A. 23 May 2005: Your guy sounds like me a few years ago. Just talk to him like you are, even if it seems like you're getting nowhere. For him this might not work, because the ice might not really be breaking. You can have a conversation with anyone and not be ... (read in full...)
Would it be so bad to get this one man out of my system before I get married?
Q. Hi I am gettting married in August this year. My partner is my soul mate and best friend and I really do love him. We have a great future together. But, I have always fancied one of his best friends. There is a chemistry between us, and it came ...
A. 23 May 2005: I gotta go with emah on this. I'm not saying it's wrong to have two men, if they are both alright with it. I doubt this would be the case with your fiancee, since most people planning on getting married don't swing like that. Going for this ruins ... (read in full...)
My girl always brings her friend with her when we go out... Now I'm interested in the friend.
Q. Hi, I'm in quite a state at the moment because I am with a girl but she always comes out with her friend. This wouldn't be a bad thing if I didn't start having feelings for her friend... What can I do?...
A. 22 May 2005: The Switch is the most difficult relationship maneuver in existence. You're probably struck, because it's nearly impossible to switch from a girl to her best friend. The only way is to break up with your gf, wait at least a few weeks or months, ... (read in full...)
I think she might dump her boyfriend and go with me, but what can I do to help my chances?
Q. I am 17 and have known this girl for about 5 years. We have dated before but recently I have found out that I love her, like seriously love her! She has an on and off b/f and I went round to her house the other day. We kissed and things. The next...
A. 22 May 2005: Just be yourself, man. Either she chooses you or not, but don't agonize over it. One thing you could do is get cool with her friends. Her friends are probably a big part of her life, and they can tell you what she likes and doesn't like in a bf. ... (read in full...)
Suddenly my boyfriend "loves" me, but isn't "in love with" me. What can I do?
Q. My b/f and I have been together for almost 4 years. We live together and have talked about getting married. Then the other night he tells me that he doesn't think he wants to get married he feels that he is too young (22) and hasn't dated alot of ...
A. 22 May 2005: The love you but not in love with you line has got to be one of cruelest phrases ever spoken. I sympathize with you. Although I never devoted so many years to someone only to have them say something like this, it has happened to me twice. I ... (read in full...)
Was I stupid for not picking up on the clues that he had a girlfriend already?
Q. Last December, I started this job and almost immediately developed a crush on a coworker. I thought the feeling was reciprocated. The extent of our relationship was walking home together. A month goes by, and...nothing. I figured he hasn't asked me...
A. 22 May 2005: Don't knock yourself, that wasn't stupid. You liked him, and perceived him as being better than he was. Whenever I like anyone, I always see what I want to see in who I like. I try not to see anything bad so I can enjoy myself more around the ... (read in full...)
I told the boy in my class that I liked him but he already has a girlfriend...
Q. I am a 12 year old girl in 6th grade. I don't know if I'm too young for this advice website or not but I hope you will answer my question. See I like this guy that is in my class and I have liked him for awhile now (almost the whole year) well he ...
A. 22 May 2005: I'm not so far gone that I can't remember all the flirting and notes of middle school romance, so I'll try to help. Straight off, the point that sticks out to me is that the guy already has a gf, which is bad news bears. For his part though, he ... (read in full...)
I tried to treat her right and be honest, but she broke up with me to date one of my best mates.
Q. My worst nightmare has happened. My ex girlfriend has started seeing of my mates. I'm really gutted that he's agreed to start seeing her, and although I want to look as if I'm not bothered, I'm really devistated inside. Although I'm not a teenag...
A. 22 May 2005: I didn't think it was possible to ever treat a woman with too much love and devotion either, but I learned the hard way. Your situation sounds difficult, and I can't give you any advice you haven't already heard on dealing with pain. But if you ... (read in full...)
He's a smoker and a druggie... but he's got no friends at all. Should I just leave him alone?
Q. There's this boy at school who my three best friends have been out with. I have never liked him, he is a smoker and a druggie, not to mention he is one of the meanest people I have ever had the displeasure to meet! But today I found out that now he ...
A. 21 May 2005: Pity is the natural reaction, but be careful of this guy. You say he has no friends, but how does he get drugs without having connections? How can you be sure he just doesn't want sympathy and puts up an illusion to disarm people he can take ... (read in full...)
When we're apart, I keep worrying that my b/f is going to find out he's too good for me...
Q. I keep questioning the relationship between my boyfriend and I. I analyze every little thing he says in letters, emails, on a site we both use, on the phone. I don't do it as often when him and I are together in person. I'm not sure what to make ...
A. 16 May 2005: My opinion is you gotta stop being insecure, then step back a little and think. Who exactly is the best? Why can't you be the best for him? You can't let yourself be so obsessed either. You gotta assume that something could go wrong, and if that ... (read in full...)
I don't know what I want to do with my life...
Q. I have come to this point in my life when I no longer have a dream, which scares me. I have always known whatI wanted to do, like be a model or lawyer, but now I really don't know what I want to be and this scares me. All my friends always say "you...
A. 15 May 2005: I was 14 six years ago. At the time I wanted to be a comic book artist since I was a kid, and later wanted to be an ESL tutor or interpretor. Somewhere in there I wanted to be a jazz musician (I'm a geek, I admit it). I was really into my dreams. ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to stop feeling sad and worthless, but I want to feel good and special...
Q. I am 32 year old woman from South Africa, and while searching Google I found your web-site. I am hoping that I can get some help from you as I have reached the end of my tether. I am an overweight woman, not obese, and not unattractive. I have...
A. 15 May 2005: I feel a strong empathy with you. I myself am bipolar and wasted the last five years of my life where you are now. We are given only so much life to live, then it's gone. I know your pain. I drifted lifelessly from phase to phase seeking a ... (read in full...)
One drunked kiss might ruin our "perfect relationship". Should I forget and forgive?
Q. Hi there, I've been going out with my girlfriend for two and half years and we recently been speaking about marriage. She has been crying a lot recently for no reason and when I ask her whats wrong she tells me "nothing in particular, just...
A. 15 May 2005: Man, I have been through the same thing, except worse. I found out months later that my girlfriend kissed her best friend's cousin the DAY AFTER we started going out. She wasn't even drunk when she was kissin all over this guy. I was shocked when ... (read in full...)
I'm being accused of lying and hiding things from my husband... but they're more like half-truths. Aren't they?
Q. I have been married since 1989 and with my husband since we were both 17 years old. For about the past year, maybe a little more than that, we have been fighting about stuff like him thinking I am lying to him and hiding things from him. I admi...
A. 14 May 2005: As for the lying thing, it's best to come clean. It's easy to white out the truth, especially to avoid conflict, and it's easy to rationalize it as being right (they won't get hurt if I don't say anything). The truth is harsh, but lies put ... (read in full...)
Thinking about having sex with my boyfriend, but I don't know how he really feels about me.
Q. Hi, I've known my bf for like 5 months now, but we have only just started going out. I don't know if he actually likes me. We live far apart and he is always busy at the weekends. My mate lives like down the road from him and I usually go to her ...
A. 14 May 2005: It really depends on your own morals. I mean, some people get freaky the first day they meet, and on the other end, some people wait 'til they get married. It sounds to me like you want to make sure he cares about you first, and text messaging you ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on the girl who doesn't want a relationship right now?
Q. There is this girl that I like. She told me that right now she doesn't want a relationship. I told her, then I guess this is good bye and she said, why. Do you think she likes me or not? Should I give up on her?...
A. 14 May 2005: Yeah, bro, you should give up on her. You're in your prime, don't let yourself get jerked around by some girl. Waste of precious life I say. She doesn't know what she wants and she's leading you on or just wants to be friends and nothing more and ... (read in full...)
Does sex have to be performed naked? Will I look odd if I want to leave some clothes on?
Q. Hello, My question is about sex. As I am a virgin female aged 20, I am nervous about sex mainly because I don't want to be naked. I am not embarrassed but think it would be nicer to leave some clothes on or use a blanket to feel less exposed ...
A. 14 May 2005: Hey, I'm 20 too and I'll be the first guy to answer. By the way I'm assuming you're straight and gonna be with a guy, if not I apologize and will be embarrased later. Your first time should be completely on your terms, and I really don't think ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hugs other girls, but not me...
Q. Why wont my bf hug me when he sees me, but he hugs other girls? ...
A. 14 May 2005: It's gotta be one of two things. He might feel like he has to hug the girls or they'll think he's mean, and he's more comfortable with you (some people don't like hugs, I don't know why). More likely, he's taking you for granted. He might not ... (read in full...)
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