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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend is s terrible flirt. I can usually deal with this when it happens, as it just seems like harmless fun. However we were out the other night and I noticed that her flirting with this guy was very similar to how she was with me when we first met. I didn't mention anything at the time.(Foolish of me!) However it has just stuck me with and worried me. She e-mailed her friend about the other night and mentioned how funny this guy was and if she were to see him say hello from her. This has not happened before and I'm worried that she is trying to secretly start something with this person. The problem is whenever I mention anything to do with our relationship (my concerns) she says that I am looking for problems where there are none, and I am worried that if I bring this up I will again be accused of bringing another 'issue' to the relationship. I feel very stuck. Any advice please.
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reader, HappyTimeHarry +, writes (23 May 2005):
Not a good situation, friend. Sounds like the core of the problem is your fear. Fear of starting an argument, fear of rejection, fear of confrontation. You know something is off. You know that flirting to that extent is against all conventional relationship rules. Joking around is one thing, but passing on greetings is too much. You have enough to go on to make a stand and be justified in that stand. So just suck it up, think through what you need to say, and speak up for yourself. Don't dance around her sensitivity on this, because you need to figure this out directly. You know what you need to do.
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reader, trusty +, writes (18 May 2005):
get rid!!she is walking all over you,it also sounds like she is afraid of admitting something, maybe that she feels that there is a problem in your relationship and she is trying to cover it up by flirting with other guys.if she loves you or evens really cares for you she shouldnt need to flirt with other men, your supposes to be THE man in her life! i really think you should confront her about this and when she accuses you of "looking for a problem", just ignor it,and tell her straight you want answere and you deserve some answeres from her, no man or women should ever sit back and whatch their partner flirt with someone else other than you. good luck
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