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My boyfriend cheated and I have all the proof but he keeps denying it

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2016) 11 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2016)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

This is probably a no brainer but I'm asking anyway, found out my boyfriend has been texting and chatting with his ex, I confronted him and he promised to stop because he didn't want to lose me the problem is he hasn't I checked his phone and have the texts, I left him and he doesn't know I have the proof now he is sending me messages denying it all should I send the proof and make him stop the lies or just move on? He is calling me crazy

View related questions: his ex, move on, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2016):

“No one forgets the truth; they just get better at lying.”

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntI'd suggest just letting go and moving on. Sending proof won't gain anything, just waste time.

In future, if you can't trust your partner, don't go for proof; snooping isn't good - just end it. If you snoop and they are guilty, they can't be trusted. If you snoop and they're innocent, you can't be trusted.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (2 June 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntId send them- Just, well just because. With a message: Don't bother dickhead

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 June 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou gave him a second chance to stop behaving like this, but he didn't, he probably thought you would never leave him so he carried on. What you have done is right. He is not to be trusted, he is blatantly lying to you, best thing you can do now is change your number or block him from contacting you. You got a lucky escape.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (1 June 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhat will sending him the proof do? it will just ramp up his lies that it's not what it seems.

you broke up

now block him and move along.

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A female reader, miss frank United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2016):

It is always sad to find out you have invested your time and love into a cheating Moron. I'm really sorry this has happened to you.

It's your call as to what will give you the most satisfaction and hello with your healing.

Either send the proof, or tell him what you know, and let that be the last contact, or if it will give you better satisfaction block him from all and ghost him- which ever helps you best do it.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (1 June 2016):

Dionee' agony auntYou only have one option here and that would be to move on. No good can come with staying. Protect yourself by breaking it off then cutting all contact.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 June 2016):

Honeypie agony auntNah, just block him on everything. Move on. In that order.

He doesn't NEED proof.. after all... He was there.

My guess is he is trying the deny deny deny strategy on you and doesn't QUITE understand that you aren't a mug or a moron.

Dear OP, YOU have nothing to PROVE to him.

What can he really tell you after you give him proof that will change the situation? NOT a thing. He CHOSE not to keep his promise to you, and then he lied, lied and lied some more.

And honestly.... who is the crazy one here? *hint* not you. The crazy one is him. The fact that HE seems to think if he just LIES enough to you, everything will be fine. Not exactly sound thinking, is it?

I'd toss him back in the pond and move on.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (1 June 2016):

Aunty BimBim agony auntThe priority here is for you to decide what you want, his actions suggest to me he knows you know but doesn't know how you know ..... if you want him to know how you know then send him copies of his texts, before you do that you need to realise that will simply be prolonging the contact between you, its unlikely he will read the texts etc and simply let it go.

If you are being honest with yourself and it really was his last chance, and you have no interest in continuing with a liar and a cheater, don't send him the proof, simply block his number, block him on social networks and leave him wondering .... that's what I would do.

Good luck either way

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (1 June 2016):

"I checked his phone."

The minute either of you do this, the relationship is effectively over. If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2016):

You have the proof

If you did not move on before because he said he would change and you were giving him a second chance, trusting his word that he WILL change... well, now you known, through HIS ACTIONS, not his words, that he did not change. That he will never change. He is incapable of ever changing.

He does not love you. And he is prepared to lose you. You have the texts in front of you. That is irrefutable evidence! I do not care what the context is either. The fact he was texting an ex is enough. And the fact he said he would stop and didn't is enough. Enough to nail his coffin shut.

He will keep reeling you back in with your lies because you let him. You allow it. WHY are you doing this to yourself? You will only hurt more in the long run. He is calling you crazy to "gas light" you and shift the blame and focus on you and off of himself.

Classic cheater play. Classic.

He thinks that by doing that, he is going to convince you it is your fault and your paranoia and your insecurities. So that you stay with him! So that you cave in! It is a desperate attempt by him to absolve himself of guilt and wrong doing. He knows he is wrong and this is why he is trying to side swipe you!

Do yourself a favour. Tell him to stick his drama. And his penis in someone else. Cut him off, cold. Walk away and don't look back.

Sometimes we need to be heartless to those without a heart. To those who hurt us like this. He does NOT care about you. He only cares about his dick. And his own selfish needs. He is egotistical and self serving.

Entitled and does not give a ^^it who he hurts. As long as he gets what he wants and what he feels he deserves. Well you know what he deserves? To be kicked to the curb. There is no way in hell that other woman is going to ever come close to you. That will be his punishment. He will lose the best thing that ever happened to him. He knows it. But for some reason, some men are pathetic. They just cannot keep it in their pants when they have a woman who is all they need. I will never get it. Never as long as I live why some men are such pricks. When they have it all.

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