New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245033 questions, 1084640 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap


United States  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *erpico to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *erpico a private message

*erpico's Ratings
1234567891011Next > [34 pages, 1335 answers]

Why would a woman agree to be a married man's side chicK?

Q.   Why would a woman agree to be a man's side chick, knowing that he has a girlfriend / wife? She knows that he can't spend major holidays with her, no birthday celebrations, no introduction to his family or friends. He can only talk to her and be w...

A.   24 February 2018: Usually happens with a very high value man. Generally, a woman would rather share a man with a very high value than have sole possession of a man with a very low value.... (read in full...)

How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?

Q.   Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...

A.   22 February 2018: ALWAYS act as if you have an equal or better offer somewhere else. A woman wants a man who has a lot of options. Be that man.... (read in full...)

Is it ever okay to date a mates ex?

Q.   Okay so there is this guy I work with (X) and I've always found him attractive but he dated one of the girls I work with (Y) that I'm mates with. I'm not best buds with her but we're pretty close. I've always seen him as off limits as he's her ex.. ...

A.   18 February 2018: Clear violation of the Dude Code. Never date friends or families ex's. Never.... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't understand how important my sister is to me.

Q.   My husband recently lost his job. I told my sister immediately. My husband is now angry at me and said I should have asked if he wants me to make it public. I told him he cannot control me and that I share everything with my sister and also that my ...

A.   16 February 2018: IMO your spouse comes first. Period.... (read in full...)

Do men catch feelings from having sex?

Q.   Do men catch feelings from having sex? I ask because I was talking to my best friend the other day and she said that she and the guy she is seeing, wants t stop having sex with her because he doesn't want to get too attached. she didn't understan...

A.   15 February 2018: Men and women are very different regarding this. They both bond during sex, but generally men much less so.... (read in full...)

I need tips on getting a boyfriend!

Q.   How do I get a boyfriend? I'm lonely on Valentine's Day and I want to have someone to talk to and be in a relationship with. I want some pone who is like me and enjoys my hobbies. Do you have any tips or tricks to seem more open and approachable to ...

A.   15 February 2018: Your indicated age is 13-15. Here are the tips on where you should be spending your time and energy, in decreasing order of importance - 1. Scholastic achievement. 2. Scholastic achievement. 3. Scholastic achievement. . . . 4. Athle... (read in full...)

I don't have a partner, it makes me sad. What am I doing wrong?

Q.   I am 32 and single for nearly nine years. At this time of the year my loneliness feels suffocating and I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope with the fact that there is no telling whether I will spend the next nine years or more alone.Given my ...

A.   15 February 2018: All the time you spend wallowing over romantic books and movies now put into the gym, eating clean, and being outgoing. If you do this, problem solved. If you dont, you will be making the same post next year.... (read in full...)

I treated her good but she ghosted me, I still want her back.

Q.   Asking for advice,over a year ago, my ex girlfriend ghost me, no contact since, she didn't even say goodbye,I didn't do anything wrong, but treat her special,what I am asking is ,would it be stupid, in my part to try to contact her,I know every one ...

A.   15 February 2018: Each second spent chasing this woman from now until you stop is complete wasted time from your life that you will never get back. She isnt in to you, and that with overwhelming likelihood will stay that way for the foreseeable future. Time ... (read in full...)

Why am I a walking contradiction!!??

Q.   Is it ok to feel most comfortable, content and safe at home? I live alone and have a small amount of individual fiends I see occasionally. I’m single, gay female, i work, and have no kids. As much as I enjoy looking around my city,g...

A.   14 February 2018: You are not and extroverted introvert, you are an introvert, period. Nothing wrong with it (I am one too), but there is nothing contradictory about it.... (read in full...)

Does she want to marry me or not?

Q.   I'm trying to seek advice on what to do next here, and what will be the best way to proceed. I asked my girlfriend to marry me about two months ago. She said yes, but not yet. The reasons she gave to wanting to wait, was that she felt she was so ...

A.   13 February 2018: Never listen to what people say, watch what they do. If she wanted to marry you, she'd be running down the aisle at the next church she saw if you let her. A woman delaying commitment is like a man delaying sex - there's always a reason,... (read in full...)

Would you date a man you weren't physically attracted to?

Q.   Would you date a guy who you aren’t physically attracted to? I met a guy online about 2 wks ago from Tinder. It was like a blind date as he’d only the one picture. We shared a mutual friend so I decided to meet him for a drink. He was nice in pe...

A.   13 February 2018: Relationships without sexual attraction are doomed, especially from the man's perspective.... (read in full...)

I have a boyfriend but I'm still in love with my ex

Q.   Hiya do you believe that’s there’s a one in life I met this man 5 years ago and I’ve never felt that way about anyone before we split up due to not having enough time for each other and I was gutted for months we decided not to speak as it would ...

A.   13 February 2018: You are keeping your current boyfriend around because he provides you with emotional and financial resources but you still prefer your ex sexually because he was/is better looking, more masculine, and more alpha than your current boyfriend. You a... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants a break, what chance is there for us?

Q.   So my girlfriend said she needs space to work out what she wants. Now I know that this isn’t a good thing but is it necessarily a bad thing? Obviously I have agreed to give her space for one week. Two points though do I text her at all to make sure ...

A.   13 February 2018: "Needs a break" = "Not attracted to you anymore." Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)

I'm happy talking to this guy even though I'm married

Q.   Hello all, I am 32 years old and been married since I was 23, I have 3 daughters now, my husband is a really good person and i loved him so much but he has cheated on me three years ago. i forgave him and this year while i was pregnant he was in a...

A.   13 February 2018: In summary - The cheating from three years ago is a rationalization and has nothing to do with your current situation. Your admitting you forgave him confirms this. You are not as attracted to your husband as you are to this new man. Your h... (read in full...)

My wife seems to have lost interest in sex but I suspects she masturbates

Q.   I'm a male 58,my wife is 58.we always had a good sex life but,now,she never ask me to give her an orgasam.she doesn't want me to kiss her much,very little breast touching.very little vagina touching. she acts like she doesn't care no more but will...

A.   13 February 2018: If she still has sexual desire but is not showing it to you means only one thing - she is not sexually attracted to you anymore. This is on you. Get your ass into the gym. Spend time on your appearance. Women are sexually attracted to masculin... (read in full...)

Will I ever meet anyone or will I be alone forever?

Q.   I’m a 29 year old single Mum to a beautiful 2 year old daughter. I split with her dad shortly after she was born, so I have been single for about 2 years. The first year I was happy being single and wanted to concentrate on raising my daughter. The ...

A.   13 February 2018: As always, going to be blunt. No high value man is going to want to spend his money and time on another man's child. Why do this when he can just find an equally attractive woman without the baggage? If he has children of his own, you have a ... (read in full...)

He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?

Q.   I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...

A.   13 February 2018: It means he doesn't want to commit to you but is willing to keep you around for sex.... (read in full...)

Can a relationship that started out purely for sexual hookups actually amount to more.

Q.   A year ago I started a purely sexual relationship with a friend of my ex bfs. We had both just gotten out of relationship so we were only looking for a hookup. It was suppose to be a one time thing but turned into regular hookups. They were amazing ...

A.   13 February 2018: You have a baby together. You are way past the "casual sexual hookup." ... (read in full...)

Off/on relationship has me wanting something more definite

Q.   So this is bothering me. I was seeing a girl for 2 months, we fell in love quick but due to family issues and differences we took a break. She started seeing someone else. We still hung around and got even closer, she told me mulitple times she ...

A.   5 February 2017: You are a fool for staying in contact with this person. The moment she saw someone else told you everything you need to know. If you were enough for her, she would have no reason to go anywhere else. Move on.... (read in full...)

What do you do when your partner out of nowhere suddenly says that they don't love you anymore?

Q.   What do you do when your partner of 12 years (wife for 2 1/2) suddenly tells you out of the blue she no longer loves, feels attracted to you and knows without any doubt this is how she feels? I busted her whilst she was on a night out texting some...

A.   31 January 2017: Ok - lets look at this paragraph again: I busted her whilst she was on a night out texting someone she had met on the night basically after a sexual hook up, i got angry and told her to come home and talk about where this has come from. It got h... (read in full...)

I want a prettier girlfriend who cares about being fit and healthy. What do I need to do?

Q.   I want a prettier girlfriend. I've been with mine for a few years now and it seems wrong to leave. I love her but the lack of effort (exercise counts) is making me less attracted to her. Bringing it up makes me the bad guy. What should I do?...

A.   30 January 2017: You can't negotiate attraction. Move on. That said, if you want a better looking partner, bring more to the table. Get a better job, go to the gym, etc.... (read in full...)

Will he freak when he finds I'm a virgin?

Q.   Guys... what do you think if you get with someone who's a virgin? Ive met this guy and things are going well but he keeps turning things sexual. And well I've never done anything and still a virgin. I'm afraid when I tell him. He will freak out? ...

A.   3 January 2017: A high value guy who is really interested in you will place a lot of value on your chastity.... (read in full...)

I'm 25 and feel like my best years are behind me. Am I going to be ok?

Q.   I'm 26 no job, no degree and have no sexual/relationship experience. I know that I could live to 50 and beyond but it feels like my best years are behind me. I can't help but feel like once you destroy your youth opportunities your life is ...

A.   3 January 2017: Im 48, and save a few years in my early 40s, every year has been better than the last. I expect the same this year. ... (read in full...)

Do all middle aged men want younger women?

Q.   Are there any men in there late 40s or 50s who physically desire women the same age or do they all prefer younger women? I find I am approached a fair bit by younger guys but ones my age seem to be interested in 20-30 yr olds. The most recent ...

A.   3 January 2017: Im 48. My wife is 8 years my junior, so I guess Im guilty.... (read in full...)

Is my jealousy justified?

Q.   Hello aunts. I am writing this because I really need help with a recent situation that I am just not handling well. Thanks in advance. First, some background. I'm 30 and I met my current wife two years ago in a business dinner. We flirted a bit an...

A.   3 January 2017: She's making you pay for something she gave away for almost free elsewhere. This is not your fault. That you had to beg her to go out with you absolutely ensured that she has no respect for you. You need to display abundance to women, not desp... (read in full...)

My Bf has been talking to a younger woman. Where to now? After all I've done for him, why did he do this?

Q.   Hi I have a BF for 3 years, monogamous relationship. That is what I thought. My Bf has an habit to lie. Lie about small and big things. We are on and off due this because I caught him then he apologized then I forgive then again he lies and so o...

A.   21 December 2016: This is EXACTLY why Ive stated here multiple times that LTRs where the woman is substantially older than the man dont often work out. Its just simple math and supply and demand. A man hits his highest market value well after 30. A womans t... (read in full...)

At 19 I kissed another guy. What is the kindest way to tell my husband the truth? I can't forgive my indiscretion.

Q.   So I've been with my husband ten years, married for two years. We have always had our ups and downs but now we are very strong and we have two children. However, when I was nineteen I made a terrible mistake. I kissed another man in a club while ...

A.   1 October 2016: Ive always wondered here if the same advice would be given if it was the case that THEY were the party in the dark ... Lies (and lies by omission) are not a foundation to build a relationship on. You don't keep the truth from someone you respect.... (read in full...)

Had a bad last day at work and my boyfriend just made jokes about it instead of listening. Would a good partner react this way?

Q.   Hi members. I think my boyfriend is selfish and not understanding in this situation I will write about. What do you guys think? Would a good boyfriend react this way?? It was the last day of my job today and after telling him I had a bad day at...

A.   1 October 2016: No one will ever act in every situation just as you want them to. People are not robots.... (read in full...)

How long does it take somebody to get over nonstop lying, cheating & betrayal??

Q.   Hi All!! Im praying that somebody out there will have some answers to my massive confusion in my relationship. 4 months after starting a relationship with the guy im still with currently. He proposed to me. I accepted due to being massively head ...

A.   1 October 2016: How long does it take me to get over that? About ten seconds.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend makes purchases with my credit and doesn't pay them off

Q.   Hello. Last year my bf bought an iphone. He didnt have the money to buy it so he borrowed my credit card and he is making the payments. I realized he hasnt pay the full amount and it has been a year already but he makes monthly payments. Yesterday ...

A.   23 September 2016: Whenever you give money to family/friends/bf/gf, at that moment say goodbye to that money forever, because the chances are overwhelming that you will never see it again.... (read in full...)

What to do? I'm dating a woman aged 30 and I can't handle her "sleeping around" in the past.

Q.   I'm in my early 20s, not perfect but I met a woman who's 30 recently and we really hit it off. However shes has a LOT of bad things in her past. I'm not misogynist and I have obviously slept with girlfriends but she did a load of crazy stuff when...

A.   23 September 2016: You have retroactive jealousy - a normal byproduct of human evolution. The downside is it will likely not get better, and perhaps will get worse the more you emotionally and financially invest in her. My advice to you - do not date her. If yo... (read in full...)

How do I ask her out? I think she's out of my league

Q.   Hi. Before I go on I thought a bit of info might be useful. I'm 16, and have never unlike everyone (it seems)been in a relationship. A months ago I met this girl. I never really noticed it until recently but I think there may be something between ...

A.   18 September 2016: If you think "shes out of your league" dont even bother. The first thing you need to fix is your confidence. Women as a general rule do not date DOWN. If you want to get a high value woman, you'd better be extremely high value yourself. That ... (read in full...)

When does an age gap become too big?

Q.   How big do you think age gaps in relationships should be? In all kinds of relationships: friendships, romantic relationships, sex buddies. Do generational differences get in the way? When does an age gap become too much to relate to someone in ...

A.   12 September 2016: I must have written this more than ten times here. .5M + 7 = min W. Works at any age.... (read in full...)

My Cheating Girlfriend.... What do I do?

Q.   So here it. As I write this my girlfriend is at 35,000ft with the guy she has been cheating on me with on their way to Tenerife. I had been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. For a couple of months now I had suspected she was cheating a...

A.   11 September 2016: Ok - in this order: 1 - dump her yesterday. No long talk. Just goodbye. 2 - go to the gym and work on your body 3 - work harder at work and get that promotion 4 - date girls three points over your last gf.... (read in full...)

Should 13 year olds date 16 year olds?

Q.   I'm a 13 year old female and I'm dating a 16 year old guy.. I think I'm in love but I don't know if that's wrong. I mean my friends say that we are cute and my parents say that it's wrong because of the age difference. All I wanna know is if it's ...

A.   10 September 2016: .5M +7. It always works. So at 16, the youngest he should be dating is 15.... (read in full...)

How do I go forward? He often lied to me. Why did he hurt me like this?

Q.   I left my boyfriend after a six year turbulent relationship. I gave him everything, I saved him from losing his house and bailed him out on numerous occasions. The final straw was finding out he was online sexting with his ex, I walked away. ...

A.   9 September 2016: To the point - he's using you for money, and you are enabling it. Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)

How do we find a healthy balance between sound judgment and judgmental?

Q.   My question is regarding generalising and friends of friends, and friends partners. I have a problem that when i see someone or a friend dating someone who I find to be unpleasant/ unkind/ judgemental/ rude, I start to view the friend dating the ...

A.   9 September 2016: For me its simple. If they add to my life, I keep them around. If they don't, I don't.... (read in full...)

She's anxious. Do I need to be patient and allow her to get used to dating?

Q.   I have started dating a girl at the start of August after being divorced. From the offset she tells me she is a very anxious person and it takes her a long time to get used to people and move relationships in the right direction, eg we didn't k...

A.   5 September 2016: For me, life is short and I wouldnt have the patience to put up with this type of drama. There are hundreds of millions of eligible women out there.... (read in full...)

My fiance risked our relationship for one night of fun

Q.   I am engaged to be married on the 24th. Last weekend my bf had his bachelor party weekend in New York . I couple of his buddies were egging him on to hook up with a random girl. They ended up inviting a group of girls back to their hotel were he ...

A.   5 September 2016: Im going to spoil it for you - the only reason it didnt lead to sex is because the BJ finished the job first. What he has on his side is that he was honest and could have lied. You need to decide if you can trust him balancing that info.... (read in full...)

I'm talking to my ex and feeling guilty about it but can't seem to stop myself

Q.   When I was 15, I had an abortion. To this day I still remember everything about those few weeks while it all happened, from finding out to having it done. I still cry on the day which I had worked out would have been my due date and I still wonder ...

A.   5 September 2016: Im going to be blunt as usual. You are in your late 20s now. I think its time you started living your life responsibly. Either break up with your current and pursue this guy, or do the opposite. ... (read in full...)

*erpico's friends

These are mutual friends, so *erpico has added them and they have added *erpico!

Beautynomore agony auntBeautynomore
Deagan agony auntDeagan
Gauntlet agony auntGauntlet
Hnk  agony auntHnk
jamestayl0r agony auntjamestayl0r
Ms Rain agony auntMs Rain
Sings_alot_chicky agony auntSings_alot_chicky
tommy2k7 agony aunttommy2k7
Treadlightly agony auntTreadlightly
unidentified123 agony auntunidentified123

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft