How to repair a fractured friendship?
Q. Recently, I got into a big fight with one of my close friends. Needless to say, shamefully, I was the one at fault and became very over-emotional and angry with them at the time for reasons I could not comprehend while I was in an emotional state. ...
A. 21 February 2023: By your own admission, this is not a one-off and is something to which you have subjected your friend before. Instead of concentrating on trying to repair this one friendship because this is what YOU want at present, why not seek professional help ... (read in full...)
What if he tells others we had sex?
Q. I want my friend to fuck me, he usually comes to me and ask for us to fuck but I'm scared he might tell other's that we did it. I just don't want others to know. I'm a virgin but when he come around I try to hold myself but deeply I just want him ...
A. 18 February 2023: You are a teenager and your hormones are crazily out of control BUT - and this is a huge BUT - this guy is actually abusing you. Why does he have access to you while you are sleeping? Touching someone without their express consent is classed as ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend feels pain more than pleasure
Q. My girlfriend feels pain much more than pleasure while we're having sex which just makes it feel as if I'm doing something wrong. So to give you context, we started having sex last year in November. For all the while till last month or so, it was e...
A. 18 February 2023: Given your age, I would assume you are being over-zealous and rough when having sex (as many teenagers are). Women do not enjoy "porn" sex. Most like to be treated gently and every one will have different things she likes and doesn't like. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
An affair thats remembered
Q. why cant i forget an affair my husband had 20 years ago we are happy now but its alwas in the back of my mind...
A. 18 February 2023: I saw this somewhere once which I thought explained it perfectly.
Take a pristine new sheet of paper. Take a look at it. Perfect, yes? Now take it and screw it up as tightly as you can. Now put it down and smooth it out again. Is it the same as ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else experienced this?
Q. Has anyone else resisted a mutual attraction to an in law for years only to end up having a weak moment and doing the forbidden? I have been married for over 15 years and have two kids that are young adults. My marriage has been good a majority of ...
A. 18 February 2023: If this post is genuine and not just an attempt to get a cheap thrill from others' stories, wow. Just wow. Your poor wife. Betrayed by not only her husband but also her own mother, because neither of them can keep it in their pants.
I hope you... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 15 February 2023: Sorry, still having to test whether the post will appear as we keep having problems posting and there is no point in preparing a reply and then losing it.
You are seeing this as a reflection on YOU but I wonder, is it at all possible that the... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 15 February 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Unfriendly neighbor says hello after a year of avoiding me?
Q. The woman living next to me is the most confusing human I've encountered! When she moved in, I made sure to say hello, in passing, but she ignored me. Another time, I went to wave as she drove up her driveway, and she turned her head in the oppo...
A. 14 February 2023: I totally get that that sort of behaviour can feel personal and hurtful. However, you need to remember that it is usually not about YOU (a stranger who she has no reason to dislike) but about the other person. She is human. She has stuff going on. ... (read in full...)
I thought rebound relationships didn't work
Q. Hello, I am wondering why both of my ex partners have had successful rebound relationships after they broke up with me. The first ex has been with his now wife for over 20 years. Then, my ex husband (of 18 years) discarded me and family for a ...
A. 13 February 2023: I think you need to build into the equation that your ex husbands probably "moved on" a long time before the divorces. The second one especially will have moved on emotionally well beforehand.
Stop keeping tabs on them. I know that is easier s... (read in full...)
Do I tell my family about my biological son
Q. When I was in my early twenties, I got my girlfriend pregnant. We were not ready to be parents, especially since I was going to therapy for anger issues and my girlfriend just made one year sober. My girlfriend's sister and husband adopted ...
A. 13 February 2023: In answer to your question, yes, absolutely you should make your family aware of your son's existence. However, before you do so you should discuss is with your son and with his adoptive parents. It is only courtesy to make them aware of your plans ... (read in full...)
I don't feel comfortable about my mom's partner and she won't back me up
Q. Hi, sorry this question is rather long. I'm an adult and hopefully moving out soon, but I have been struggling with my mother and her partner. They have been together for 9 years after my parents' divorce. I suffered abuse from my estranged father...
A. 8 February 2023: Your mum's partner does sound a bit creepy and the things he has said to you are definitely inappropriate. However, you cannot expect everyone to tread on eggshells around you because you suffered trauma in the past. Horrible as the abuse you ... (read in full...)
Should I rethink things?
Q. He expected a thank you for getting a coca cola for my mother and asked me on the phone if my mother got the coke so I said yeah why? and he told me where was his thank you and I told him that when he asks for a thank you after he wants to do ...
A. 1 February 2023: So you would rather people didn't do anything for you than you had to say a simple polite "thank you" in return? Wow! Just wow! Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.
I was brought up to say "please" and "thank you" and it comes au... (read in full...)
Did I do anything wrong by selling the four wheeler without talking to my brother about it first?
Q. I have a brother who is married. My sister-in-law has a little brother that is 13 years old. I owned a four wheeler that I keep at my house. I told my brother that he can borrow it as long as he asked permission first and he doesn't let his ...
A. 29 January 2023: You already KNOW you didn't do anything wrong in selling your own property.
However, as you have gone to the effort of posting on this site, I would hazard a guess that you are questioning your motives for selling the quad. Whether you sold it ... (read in full...)
I am too sensitive for oral sex
Q. I enjoy getting oral and it fills so good, sometimes it gets so intense that i pull away and can't handle the sensation. How can I become more relaxed. Why am I way to sensetive....
A. 28 January 2023: You cannot turn down your sensitivity but your lover can learn to be more sensitive. I am going to assume you are in a relationship with a man. The mistake men often make is to think "harder is better" whereas we ladies know, when it comes to oral ... (read in full...)
I am too sensitive for oral sex
Q. I enjoy getting oral and it fills so good, sometimes it gets so intense that i pull away and can't handle the sensation. How can I become more relaxed. Why am I way to sensetive....
A. 28 January 2023: Test... (read in full...)
How do I stop him from taking advantage of my kindness?
Q. Hello I have been friends with someone about a year. He works but doesn't make much. So I have been giving him money ( not alot) a bit for food here and there. Anyways, his bay came and he asked if I could give some money. I sent 75.00. He h...
A. 25 January 2023: Not sure what a "bay" is. The only bays I know have water in them or are a particular colour of horse. Assuming you mean a boyfriend/girlfriend? So not only is he expecting you to feed him but also his partner? And you went ahead and did it.
... (read in full...)
How do I stop him from taking advantage of my kindness?
Q. Hello I have been friends with someone about a year. He works but doesn't make much. So I have been giving him money ( not alot) a bit for food here and there. Anyways, his bay came and he asked if I could give some money. I sent 75.00. He h...
A. 25 January 2023: Test... (read in full...)
How can I have peace
Q. Hello I have been with my fiancee for about 6 years. The first 2 years were great! He was loving, attentive, and very charming. Then he turned into a nightmare. He lacks communication skills and gets angry very quickly. I've pretty muc...
A. 18 January 2023: Sweetheart, you need to start to love YOURSELF instead of this selfish nasty spoiled man child you call your fiancé. It is YOU who is too good for HIM, not the other way round.
If it is your house you live in, throw him out, change the locks, b... (read in full...)
Family pushing me to get married
Q. Im really struggling with myself. I have been advised to seek therapy online by my parents. So I thought I would ask here if I can pay for mental health therapy for getting married - and where you recommend this? I have subconsciously a...
A. 15 January 2023: Therapy is not a magic wand that can make everything "right" in an instant. And why would you need therapy just to be like you think everyone else is? You are YOU, an individual, unique. Stop feeling you have to conform to a "norm" that feels alien ... (read in full...)
How do I politely ask my friend to move out of my home?
Q. ? ?A friend of mine that I’ve know for over 20 years recently separated from her husband- she was struggling to find somewhere to live so she asked if she could move in with me and my family for a month until she found somewhere. S...
A. 13 January 2023: Why are you worried about upsetting her? She is not affording YOU the same courtesy, using your home as a doss house. She is getting free lodgings (and board presumably?) but can't even be bothered to keep her own stuff tidy or walk your dog. She is ... (read in full...)
Hurt over lost friend
Q. My best friend of many years is in an abusive relationship and has suddenly decided to cut me out of her life. When they first started dating, I wasn't wild about it. She has so much going for her and this guy just... doesn't. I tried to be supp...
A. 11 January 2023: I suspect the boyfriend is at least partially to blame for your fall-out with your friend. He realizes that the two of you together are much stronger than she is on her own, hence he has to separate her from you. Ultimately the decision regarding ... (read in full...)
Confused as to whether I want to get back with partner or not
Q. I was with my partner for 7 years until a few months ago which was due to a fight which lead to me moving out and getting my own place. The sequence of events went quickly but I have been enjoying having my own space again. We've been meeting each ...
A. 8 January 2023: Sweetheart, I know change is scary, but you cannot go back to something which was causing you stress, just because you are not sure whether ending it is the "right decision". I always ask people, "would you re-read a book and expect it to end ... (read in full...)
Need ideas to sexually embarrass my sister in law without being creepy.
Q. My sister just got me a mankini with bells and a rednose on the kini part. So in trying to get her back, I want some ideas to embarrass her but not come off creepy. backstory, the family has been together forever and never has been any sexually ...
A. 28 December 2022: Ask your wife what she thinks. ... (read in full...)
My friend used me to look after her kids!
Q. I feel that I’ve been used recently by a friend and it’s really upset me. A few days ago I had arranged for my friend to come over to my house for a coffee (we usually meet up at 1 of our house 2 times a month). That morning she arrived ...
A. 25 December 2022: Is she lying? 100%. Even if she "bumped into" the friend as she claims, she could have said "I can't stop. My friend is looking after my kids and I have to get back." She had the coffee date lined up, then got saddled with the kids because of the ... (read in full...)
Perfect husband sober, but dicing with death when drunk.
Q. Hi All, My husband and I have been together since we were at school, now we are in our early thirties so I quite frankly don't know where to turn from here. I have always known that drink hasn't agreed with him. Some chemical in his brain ju...
A. 24 December 2022: He doesn't "get it" because you have threatened this is "the last time" so many times but not followed through. He thinks he can carry on like this indefinitely.
You have to make plans and carry then through. If you keep doing the same thing - ... (read in full...)
Seeing that ex is engaged has thrown me off
Q. I broke up with a guy about 2.5 years ago. It was an unhealthy relationship where I saw red flags and knew we were incompatible, but thought my love could “fix” him and maybe if I changed certain things about myself, it could work. I have no idea ...
A. 18 December 2022: I suspect you feel "inferior" in some way to the latest love interest. However, there are many different things which could be going on here.
Perhaps she has lower standards than you do. Perhaps she has railroaded him into getting engaged.... (read in full...)
Seeing that ex is engaged has thrown me off
Q. I broke up with a guy about 2.5 years ago. It was an unhealthy relationship where I saw red flags and knew we were incompatible, but thought my love could “fix” him and maybe if I changed certain things about myself, it could work. I have no idea ...
A. 18 December 2022: Testing... (read in full...)
I have no support around me when boyfriend and I argue
Q. I have being living with my boyfriend for the last three months. We have our ups and downs and arguments about day to day things. I live 5.5 hours away from my friends and family. My boyfriend lives about half an hour from his family. I lived away ...
A. 3 December 2022: I am guessing you knew about his female friends before you moved in together, so have to wonder why you ignored this huge red flag and moved in with him regardless?
Strange that he accuses YOU of trying to control HIM when it actually sounds l... (read in full...)
I want my mom to stop talking to me she has a mental illness
Q. My mom she loves coming into the basement irritating me and threatening me and I don't want her coming to the basement I don't want her talking to me she has a mental illness and she doesn't want to admit to anybody she has one. ...
A. 3 December 2022: As you say your mother won't admit to having a mental illness, I can only assume she has never been diagnosed as having one. As neither you nor I are qualified psychiatrists, we cannot diagnose her. How do we know it is not, in fact, YOU who is ... (read in full...)
Weird family interactions making me wonder about my husband and his family
Q. So I went to my in-laws house for Thanksgiving. My husband has two sisters. One 18 and the other 16 they were both adopted. Long story short my husband smacked his little sisters behind. Later on in the day my husband touched a over her chest to do ...
A. 30 November 2022: I think the crux of the "problem" is in this sentence: "It’s just not normal to me." Just because it is not the way YOUR family are with each other does not automatically make it wrong. Every family has different dynamics. I have to admit, it is not ... (read in full...)
User'sAm I overreacting to my boyfriend's relationship with his daughters? title
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now. He's been divorced for two years and I have never been married myself. He has two daughters and I have no kids. Our relationship is so wonderful, everything between us is perfect ...
A. 27 November 2022: No, you are not overreacting to this situation. You have been in this relationship long enough to know it is unlikely that anything will change in the near future. If your boyfriend is not prepared to stand up to his daughters, how are you ever ... (read in full...)
Family always wants me to babysit
Q. I have a brother who is married with a wife and two kids. The problem is that my brother and sister-in-law are upset with me for always refusing to babysit. I have work, church and other activities that take up a lot of my time. My brot...
A. 27 November 2022: While I can appreciate they may be "stressed", having two young children, their children are THEIR responsibility, not yours.
In your shoes, I would be tempted to tell them, very clearly, that you do not want to baby sit their children, regardle... (read in full...)
Should I inform my ex’s family & friends that I’m he’s addicted to drugs in hopes that they’ll help him?
Q. My ex and I are very much in love but broke up amicably. He’s developed a drug addiction. He’s high functioning but it’s something I cannot accept. He’s admitted to his addiction and understands why I can’t be with him. He’ll be moving out this ...
A. 23 November 2022: Correct me if I am wrong but my suspicion is that your desire to "fix" his addiction is so that you and he can resume your relationship. You admit you still love him, you still like him as a person, you just can't live with his addiction. This isn't ... (read in full...)
He lied cheated on his partner then told me he never had feelings for me
Q. I’m in a horrible situation and would love some help please. I started dating a man back in June. We’d known each other through work for a couple of years and there has always been some flirtation between us so I was thrilled when he asked me out....
A. 23 November 2022: Bit of a coincidence that he suddenly decided he "never had feelings" for you immediately after you walked away when he wanted to chat, don't you think? Of course it isn't a coincidence. He knew exactly how to hurt you and knock you off balance.
... (read in full...)
Getting over someone’s promiscuous past
Q. Hey all! I’m struggling with what seems to be a rather common mental dilemma. I’m (28M) in a monogamous relationship with a girl (29F) that I was friends with in high school. We both went away to college, didn’t really talk much for like 8-9 years, ...
A. 20 November 2022: Firstly, it's not a competition. There are no prizes -or penalties - for having most - or least - sexual partners. So she put herself about a bit in her younger days. Big deal. So what? I'm assuming she didn't coerce any of her sexual partners into ... (read in full...)
All we have done is kiss
Q. My boyfriend who is 19 won't touch me even when I ask him to. We have been dating for a year now and all we've done is just kissing,we haven't seen each other completely naked I tried numerous times to make a move on him but he avoids me telling me ...
A. 16 November 2022: Listen to what your boyfriend is telling you. He sounds wise beyond his years.
What's your rush? You have the rest of your life to get physical. Enjoy what you have. Being mature means realizing you can't have everything when YOU want it. ... (read in full...)
He can not cope with emotions?
Q. After getting divorced I had no intentions of meeting anyone but it happened, I met indirectly through work the most amazing man, he happens to be a consultant in a local hospital. I know in the beginning I put him on a massive pedestal and almost ...
A. 16 November 2022: Oh dear, where to start? Right, in no particular order:
If he is a consultant in a hospital, he is obviously a reasonably intelligent man. However, while he may be good at coping in a work environment (where I would imagine he is very good at ... (read in full...)
Years later still feel betrayed that father moved away after the divorce
Q. Me and my dad have had a rough relationship since i was about 16 years old it really all stemmed from my dad moving arcross the country. i always resented him because I young and needed a father still and just the simple fact i felt a parent never ...
A. 13 November 2022: I would love to hear your father's side of this but, even from only reading YOUR side, it sounds like your father did his best with the hand which was dealt to him. Let me explain why I feel this to be the case.
Your parents' marriage didn't w... (read in full...)
Made mistake leaving dog behind
Q. I left my dog with my parents while moving to this country after marriage. I visit her once in four months. It's scary to transport overseas (because they would put her in a carrier and transport her like an object), my parents are attached to her ...
A. 12 November 2022: P.S. Sorry about Harlotsghost's rude and stupid post. A troll who doesn't even know women don't have a penis, lol. ... (read in full...)
Made mistake leaving dog behind
Q. I left my dog with my parents while moving to this country after marriage. I visit her once in four months. It's scary to transport overseas (because they would put her in a carrier and transport her like an object), my parents are attached to her ...
A. 12 November 2022: I completely empathize how difficult it must have been for you, leaving behind a much loved pet. However, your dog is with people who love her, so is happy. This is her new life and she is lucky to have so many people who love her. Uprooting her, ... (read in full...)
He gave me chance after chance
Q. I used to enjoy flirting on dating apps and kinda having text and online relationships. I was in love with someone at the time. He found out about it, left, came back after I had convinced him it was nothing which was exactly what it was and I ...
A. 12 November 2022: Well, this man DID love you, otherwise he would not have given you so many chances to abuse his trust. However, once you have killed trust, there is seldom any way back. He gave you chance after chance but nothing changed. Would you read a book for ... (read in full...)
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