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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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My girlfriend has had 32 previous sexual partners
Q.
I am 27 and have been going out with a 26 yr old girl for just over 2 months, and I really like her. She is interesting, attractive, sexy, clever and funny, and I am in love with her. I was planning on telling her this last weekend, but in the ...
A. 21 June 2006: There appears to be some people who are very interested in promoting female chastity by renewing these threads and adding the same old answers about what sluts etc their gf/wives are from the same old ISP addresses.....
gets boring after a bit you ... (read in full...)
Is his behaviour a sign of an abusive personality?
Q. Hello, I am currently in a long term relationship, and although I love my boyfriend very much, there seems to be a lot of stress involved. He can very difficult to deal with sometimes, and I can't figure out whether he has signs of an abusive ...
A. 18 March 2006: Sweetie
I think this is a problem that both of you may need to face up to. Please, if you want to save this relationship then go get some professional help. I think relationship counselling may help you both see that your different back... (read in full...)
Is his behaviour a sign of an abusive personality?
Q. Hello, I am currently in a long term relationship, and although I love my boyfriend very much, there seems to be a lot of stress involved. He can very difficult to deal with sometimes, and I can't figure out whether he has signs of an abusive ...
A. 13 March 2006: His encouraging you to *do your own thing* is a sign of a healthy non-threatened or jealous individual who gives the appearance of wanting the best for you. The checking in could be construed as his wanting to know that you are safe.
BUT,
I thi... (read in full...)
Why would he be telling me that he thinks his ex is "fit"?
Q. I'm scared I'm being too needy with my boyfriend but I feel he is trying to make me insecure. The other day he told me he thinks his ex girlfriend is 'fit' and I don't know what to think about that. He said he's not gonna think she's ugly as he went ...
A. 13 March 2006: Sounds like this guy is a control freak and gets off on making you upset and angry. He obviously likes your reaction when he says this sort of stuff, so whilst you cannot stop his behaviour, you can control your reaction to it. Dont give him the ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has had 32 previous sexual partners
Q.
I am 27 and have been going out with a 26 yr old girl for just over 2 months, and I really like her. She is interesting, attractive, sexy, clever and funny, and I am in love with her. I was planning on telling her this last weekend, but in the ...
A. 13 March 2006: I feel for you because you cannot help the way you feel. we all have our moral highgrounds but I think that you are being a little hypersensitive about this.
In an ideal world we would meet our life partner and fall in love and stay in love what... (read in full...)
I won't let my partner cum on my face, he's unhappy, and won't compromise
Q. My partner thinks our sex life is dull because I won't let him cum on my face. He says he can't imagine his sex life without this and goes around all unhappy about it. I in turn find this a big turn off and feel offended by this act. He won't ac...
A. 13 March 2006: I ahve said this b4 and i will say it again. Dont do anyhhting you are uncomfortable with. And anyway that stuff stings if it gets in your eyes!!!!... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to kiss or hug my girlfriend. Am I frigid at 12?
Q. Hey! I am 12 years old and I am with a girl in my form. We've been going out for just about a week alone, and I guess I am frigid/shy. I am shy to kiss her or even hug her in the playground. My mates always kiss their girlfriends! What do I ...
A. 13 March 2006: Honey you are 12. Dont just do someting becasue you friends are doing it. Think for yourself, if you aint ready you aint ready.
Slow down and enjoy just holding hands, there is no need to grow up so fast.x... (read in full...)
Worried my carefully crafted platonic relationship may go critical, nuclear style!
Q. I have been struggling with inappropriate romantic feelings for a woman (I'll call her Jane) who is a classmate at university. The feelings are inappropriate because I love my wife and kid, are devoted to them, and have no desire to end my ...
A. 13 March 2006: Only ask her if you are willing to give up on your life with your family. They will probably never forgive you. And you will probably never forgive yourself.
I feel for you, but unless you are 100% ceratin do not go there. Let her move away and ... (read in full...)
I feel alive.
Q. I feel alive. I know I'm alive. I can feel the last of the winter wind pushing my trousers against my thighs, I can feel my throat swelling up as I try to hold back the latest round of tears. I'm walking, head to the ground, not wanting anyone t...
A. 13 March 2006: Wow!
Thankyou.x... (read in full...)
How do I turn my straight mate gay?
Q. Hi. I have this new friend of mine that I have known for two months now who I really like. He does not know I am gay as I am not 'out', but I kind of feel a conection between us, like we talk all the time and go out just together to clubs and stu...
A. 13 March 2006: You dont. It just doesnt happen that way. You cannot force anybody to behave in a certain way to suit your needs. If he is bi/hom-sexual it will eventually happen with the right person. You may not even be the right person for him.. back off and ... (read in full...)
Don't want to tell my boyfriend about my depression and counselling sessions in case he thinks I'm a basket case!
Q. Hi, I am afraid of talking with my bf about my problems. I was treated for depression last year and saw a psychologist for a period of time and actually did take an anti-depressant for some time afterwards, which I ahven't told my bf about because I ...
A. 13 March 2006: Depression, medication, counselling, psychologist, mental help, basket case. Why does mental health ahve so much of a bad stigma attached to it? If you were epileptic you would seek medical help for it. If you were diabetic you would take insulin ... (read in full...)
I'm a straight guy who fell deeply in love with another man eight years ago: Should I get in touch again?
Q. This is a complicated one. I am a guy that is heterosexual. I have only had straight relationships. but when I was younger, early twenties, I fell in love with my best friend, another guy. He actually felt the same way at the time. But we didn't ...
A. 13 March 2006: I have no personal experience like the one you are having to draw on. But I would suggest that often facing your demons or fears is the best way forward.
if you want to get this feeling out of your system I say contact him. Take it from ther... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant while he's seeing another girl and he asked my ex-mate to marry him!! Advice needed
Q. IVE BEEN WITH MY BFRIEND FOR AROUND 2 YEARS NOW,IN THE FIRST YEAR I WAS A BAD GFRIEND I CHEATED ON HIM WHICH I REGRET TOTALLY NOW PLUS I ALSO LOST HIS BABY WHICH STILL HURTS NOW.HE DID LEAVE ME IN JAN 2005 AND WENT OF WITH MY SO CALL BEST MATE WHICH ...
A. 10 March 2006: I know you are 32 weeks pregnant and I know you probably think that this is partly your fault but it is not. He should at least do you the courtesey of ending your relationship before he goes off messing with other girls.
Dump him. And do it now ... (read in full...)
Did I make him think I'm a slut?
Q. I'm 15 and I need to know what makes guys think a girl is a slut (I mean besides real obvious stuff like sleeping with everyone) Here's my situation. I love this guy and we are kind of friends and we've hung out a few times and he hasn't been with ...
A. 10 March 2006: wow, I forgot how little it takes to kill your confidence when you are so young!
Sweetie, you dont say how old you are so I will ahve a guess at middle teens.
No I dont think he thinks you are a slut. If you are so is he.
Please get it out of yo... (read in full...)
Smeedle and Willy-W?
Q. I'm not sure this will get published, but... Should "smeedle" and "willywombat" get together? They're clearly in lurrrrrrrrrrve!...
A. 10 March 2006: Smeedle, how can you say that?
sob... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 10 March 2006: All the other user's have come up with some pretty good answers and I am with them.
The one I like best is some sort of chat room type thingie, sometimes, as you can see, there is just stuff people have to say that they just can't on somebody else... (read in full...)
Smeedle and Willy-W?
Q. I'm not sure this will get published, but... Should "smeedle" and "willywombat" get together? They're clearly in lurrrrrrrrrrve!...
A. 10 March 2006: Oh ha ha! Soooo funny.....
You wish
I FELL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER AUNT ON DEARCUPID, BUTSHE@S A GIRL TOO! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
mmmmmm?... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 9 March 2006: Sexybum wasnt mocking, sorry to continue this. She said she fancied my old picture and I had to change it cos it was a pic of a comedian Eddie Izzard and we really shouldn't have been spamming on here. So sorry... (read in full...)
He's been hurt, can he have a relationship again?
Q. I started seeing a man who is divorced. His ex wife cheated on him and he was hurt badly. He just wants to date casually and that's all he's been doing for the past couple of years. When he talks about his past, it seems like he was a very sweet ...
A. 9 March 2006: Of course he can. He just needs to learn to trust again. Takle it slowly and go at his pace. If its meant to grow into something special it will. xxx... (read in full...)
There a girl calling and texting my bf, but he says they're just friend. Is this true?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, i am very happy with and we now have children, before i fell pregnant with my first child, a girl at his college txt him on christmas day and also called him three o'clock in the morning about a ...
A. 9 March 2006: You ahve only been with your BF a short time, but already you have the responsiblities of children and probably a home to upkeep. This seems quick to me, I only metion it because from what you have said I think your BF may have got a little bit of ... (read in full...)
He says he wants to meet, but I have to remind him
Q. Me and my boyfriend have just split up after five months together. He is 21 and I am 33. We are gay. We had a wonderful relationship. He always texted me each day telling me how much he loved me until suddenly after New Year just came out with the...
A. 9 March 2006: From what you are saying I think he is a foolish and inconsiderate person, he is using and abusing your affections and you need to see him for the waste of skin he really is.
Dont let him mess you about anymore. Take charge of this situation by n... (read in full...)
Our friends are interfering in our relationship! HELP!
Q. how do we stop our friends from interfering with our relationship?..and still keep them friends? we love each other deeply,over a year now.. our friends are out of hand and i know they do mean well, but we need it done in a well manner way without ...
A. 9 March 2006: Need more information honey...how do you mean they are interfering, in what way?... (read in full...)
I found a condom in his wallet and I think he lied about what it was for
Q. Hi, I am 23 years old and have been with my fiance for about 4 years. We have had our problems but I thought we were doing ok. I am pregnant, due any day now. Last night I was doing laundry and my fiance had his wallet in a pair of pants that needed ...
A. 9 March 2006: Do you want the truth of what I think or a load of waffle. If you want the truth read on.
I think this guy is playing you for an idiot. And worse I think he is doing it because you are in a vulnerable position. I think your fears are actu... (read in full...)
I don't feel good about myself anymore since my abusive ex-fiancee!
Q. Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me advice please. I want to feel good about sex or my own sexual values (what are those anyway?)but I was in a verbally abusive relationship in which I have my virginity to him and now I don't feel good about ...
A. 9 March 2006: Go with what sexybum has suggested and get some professional help....I understand that there is sometimes a stigma with admitting we need *mental* help, but if you broke your leg you wouldn't refuse a plaster cast would you?
This guy you were with... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 9 March 2006: New picture, same guy but this time with a girl and a pot noodle.......x... (read in full...)
His mother is his life, will this relationship last?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 19 years. He does'nt want marriage or commitment - he has never been married before and lives with his 91 year old mother who is his life. What do I do don't love him anymore I only see him on Saturday evenings ...
A. 9 March 2006: If you do not love this man anymore then can I ask ...why are you with him? His Mum wont be around forever at 91 but I dont think that is your real problem because of what you have said.
If you really dont love him let him go. Why continue with... (read in full...)
I am in love with my best friend's husband
Q. Over the past few years I have come to have very strong feelings for one of my dear friends husband. I am also married. As much as I try to move past these feelings I cannot. I know to feel this way is morally wrong. I just don't know how to ...
A. 9 March 2006: Listen to the advice of all the female anons on here. The ones who have had/are having the affairs and the ones on the other side. The betrayed. Read them, then read them some more. I know you feel strongly for this man, but it is an ... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 9 March 2006: Thats it I need a new picture...... :-)... (read in full...)
I've gone doo-lally over a work-colleague!
Q. Hi, I am looking for some advice regarding a crush I have on a workmate. You see, this guy, I will call him Mr X, has only just started working in my building. Recently, I have been going through a bit of a "dry" spell. There have been men coming a...
A. 9 March 2006: make personal converstaion with the guy and see if he is single ....then go for it. Like the advice I have given before, he who dares wins. If you dont make a move, who knows who might get there before you. And whats the worst that can happen, he ... (read in full...)
He asked me to dinner.....but never called me back!
Q. A guy I went on a couple of dates with told me that he doesn't want to date around anymore, that he wants to just date one person. He was implying that he wanted to date me, but he didn't come out and ask me. Then he asked if I'd be interested in ...
A. 9 March 2006: Oh dear. He who dares wins and all that!!
Go for it. He said call he when you are free. You can only ask, what is the worst that can happen - he can say no and leave you with a bruised ego for all of 5 minutes. Be a devil. Take a chance and phon... (read in full...)
I keep my daughter from seeing her dad as little as possible..am I choosing the right path on my daughter's behalf ?
Q. I wrote in yesterday and tried to respond…but there was an error…“I’ve been so strong but will I regret not having him in my life?” Thanx for your insightful advice on this one, I don’t have anyone else to discuss this with and appreciate all your ...
A. 8 March 2006: How about supervised access? Have you tried that. I think you shouldn't cut off all contact with a child's father until you have gone down every path available. Then when your child is older you can look them in the eye and say I TRIED. If you ... (read in full...)
My fiance doesn't want to share importantness with my daughters, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a 6 year relationship with a woman who dislikes my 2 daughters, from prior marriages. She constantly brings up my past and berates me about my ex-wives and daughters. My Fiance demands that I tell her she is the " most important thing ...
A. 8 March 2006: I meant to add as well, that I think your fiance has a low self-esteem and that she could do with professional help in moving on from obsessing about your past. I would suggest this to he if she will not see your side of things and moderate her ... (read in full...)
My fiance doesn't want to share importantness with my daughters, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a 6 year relationship with a woman who dislikes my 2 daughters, from prior marriages. She constantly brings up my past and berates me about my ex-wives and daughters. My Fiance demands that I tell her she is the " most important thing ...
A. 8 March 2006: Your kids are the most important thing in your life and you are a great Dad for saying so. Too many Dad's forget their offspring when a new GF comes into htier life and you sound like you are not going to do that.
To tell the truth I have a son ... (read in full...)
My gf's a virgin, I didn't make you lose it with my finger, did I?
Q. Hi, me and my girlfriend are together for a long time. She is virgin and I respect that and we didn’t do anything that harms her virginity. Last night we were together. It was the night after her period was over. I massaged her but I did not put my ...
A. 8 March 2006: No it takes a penis to take your virginity. A virgin is somebody who has never had actual penatrative sexual intercourse.... (read in full...)
After a month, how do I know if I really love him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month now. We're both trying to take it slow, we've had bad relationships in the past and we both are trying to make this work and not make the mistakes we've made in our past relationships. WE want a ...
A. 8 March 2006: I am with Smeedle on this one. Some people are lucky and they meet the person they can stay with forever at a young age, others like me....well a serial mongomist would be a good term. A lot of it is about timing too. Like when you meet the guy, ... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 8 March 2006: T'is alright, serves me right for being slightly obsessed with Eddie Izzard.....x... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 8 March 2006: Julia, I am a girl.....its just a picture of Eddie Izzard, not me on my little pic............ (read in full...)
I want to leave, but I don't want to hurt my parents either. HELP!
Q. how do you tell your mom and dad that you want to move out or travel, especially when they are so possesive, and overprotective, AND THE ONLY child left at home? and the only way they are actually happy is when i'm around to make things peachy? ...
A. 8 March 2006: Tell them you are going. You must cut the apron strings at some point. But how about teaching them to use your pc, so you can stay in contact.
Spread your wings and fly. You will come back a stronger and better person for it. If you live your... (read in full...)
He's talking to some girl, but I can't get it out of my mind, who and why! HELP PLEASE!!!
Q. I am 21 and have been in a serious but steady relationship for two years,we both live with our parents. I try to have an open relationship with my boyfriend and always tell him how i'm feeling and i feel he isn't giving this back in return,i hope i ...
A. 8 March 2006: You are gonna toture yourself if you dont find out who she is. So you had better come clean that you have been snooping around and checking his phone.
This girl could be anyone, and by that I mean family, a one night stand, or just a friend, so I... (read in full...)
I have fantasies about my twin brother!
Q. I am 15 and I have a twin brother. Nothing has ever happened between us but the other day I walked into the bathroom and he was in the bath and I saw that his penis was erect. Since then I have had fantasies of him making love to me and I know that ...
A. 8 March 2006: No this is abnormal and must not be acted upon. This is known as incest and is a major taboo in western society and for good reason. Dont even go there.... (read in full...)
Is my sexual obsession with my sister-in-law healthy... Or not?!
Q. Dear Cupid, I really need to know if I am "normal" and if this problem I have is common among married men. Cut the story short, I have been having sexual fantasies about my wife's older sister for almost a year now. I'm so afraid its getting u...
A. 8 March 2006: This is neither creepy nor abnormal. I should suggest that you DON'T sit down and *talk it over with them* unless you fancy being marched straight down to the divorce courts!!
You only see the good sides of people you fantasise about, you dont see ... (read in full...)
Is is wrong to have sex with someone 14 years older than me.....even if I'm only 14?
Q. hi, i was wondering what u think about dating someone 14 years older, especially if ur only 14,. also would it be wrong if i had sex with him? i been thinking about it for ages and i feel ready to do it, he hasn't pressured me into it cuz he think...
A. 8 March 2006: Sweetheart I dont want you take this the wrong way, but yes I think you are way to young to be thinking about having sex with this guy. He obviously has his head screwed on the right way by telling you he will wait til you are more physically and ... (read in full...)
My gf needed space, but I want to be with!
Q. "my girlfriend wants "space" and i have given it to her, but i just want to get us back together!" me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for 2 year 8 months and she says she still loves me and wants to get married and have kids but sh...
A. 8 March 2006: Hi there
I am going to give you the same advice I gave Angelicc. You must give your GF space to breathe. This is what she has asked for and this is what she very obviously needs.
I know you are hurting, but I can give you another piece of advic... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 8 March 2006: You didnt have an exclusive relationship and he had major problems. This guy was going thru a crisis and needed to deal with it as best he could and who are we to judge his means of coping with something like this? He brought up the other woman in ... (read in full...)
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