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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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How can I get that cheerful girl back?
Q. please bear with me and read this people.. i need as many opinions as possible.... i dumped my gf cuz i didnt love her... i deeply care for her though... she has become devastated... lost faith in relationships and has become extremely low esteemed ...
A. 17 June 2009: When you try to still remain friends with someone you broke up with that is still in love with you and didn't want the relationship to end; it only gives them a glimmer of hope that you'll change your mind and want to be with them again. The best ... (read in full...)
She's screwed in the head. Why does she do his?
Q. This is not help for me, i just really want to know what you guys think is going on in this girls head. I guess im usual old curious george. I know it has absolutely nothing to do with me, but ive been dragged into the situation and so has my ...
A. 17 June 2009: My first question is: how old is this girl? She sounds very immature. Like what most others have said, she sounds like she just wants attention. She's probably not happy with either guy but settles on having someone just so that she isn't alone, ... (read in full...)
What do you call a cheater?
Q. A few years ago I caught my wife having an affair with a co worker of hers. When I caught her I called her a slut. She became very angry I said that and has not to this day let go of me using that word. Why? Isn't a cheater a slut?...
A. 16 June 2009: Well if she doesn't want to be called a slut, then she probably shouldn't act like one. In my opinion, women cheat for emotional purposes--not because they "need to get some." Which may not always be the case, but maybe in her mind she's not ... (read in full...)
How do I move on when I'm not financially ready?
Q. ok so, ive been with my spouse for about 8 years, were not married and its not your fairytale relationship, about 6 months ago, i caught her cheating on me with a coworker, we worked thru it, but the love was lost to me, ive never felt the same and ...
A. 13 June 2009: As far as renting for something less expensive, how about just finding a male roomate on something like Craigslist? That way you can just rent a room and pay half what you're pay now? I know it may seem odd, but I along with a lot of other people ... (read in full...)
If we keep spending time together will it change his mind about a relationship?
Q. I still like my ex boyfriend, and i know now that he doesnt want to date me. When we talked about it, his exact words were "i dont want any relationships, i just wanna fuck." Do you think if we kept sending time together that he would change his ...
A. 13 June 2009: No, if you keep spending time with him it will do just the opposite. Trust me it's emotionally draining to be his friend with benefits. So save yourself extra heartache from this guy and don't do that. The best thing to do is don't give him the ... (read in full...)
My daughter moved home to sort things out, but seems to be stagnating
Q. i'm looking for some help in handling this situation in the best way that i can. my only child, a daughter in her late 20's, has recently returned home to sort our her life. she's been living away from us for a long time, and has recently run int...
A. 13 June 2009: This is what think, being that I've been in your daughter's situation. I'm guessing she went out on her own straight out of high school and became the independent adult that she is? I ran into the same dilemma, I was out around 19 and wanted to be ... (read in full...)
I just want my sister and I to get along!
Q. I'm really nice to my little sister (11) but she is mean to me. We get along but out of no where she will start calling me names and hitting me for no reason. I'll hit her back some times but I get tired of it. I really want me and her to be close ...
A. 13 June 2009: Tell your dad. Let him know it hurts your feelings because you're trying to be nice to your sister and she's constantly mean to you. It's not tattling, but it's something that your dad can probably get through to her better than you talking to ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex and yet am repulsed by it
Q. I've never heard of anybody who has this problem. I am a man in my late 20's, who like most other men is desperate to have sex, yet at the same time I'm repulsed by it. The reason why is because I despise the human race, I view all emotions as ...
A. 13 June 2009: I don't mean to freak you out, but those are kind of sociopathic qualities. Definitely seek professional help. I don't see it so much as being repulsed by sex, your repulsed by human beings in general. Although there's a lot of screwed up people ... (read in full...)
He wanted to marry me and now broke up with me!
Q. Please help me figure this out. I have been in a serious relationship for a year now and I moved in with him 7 months ago. Things have been great, awesome and fabulous…I don’t understand what went wrong. About 2 months ago we started having more ...
A. 13 June 2009: Yes, you should leave him alone. Don't contact him. You didn't do anything wrong and he needs his space to think about what HE did. Just get your stuff and leave him alone. Don't pick up the phone and call him, don't email him, don't talk to him ... (read in full...)
He wanted to marry me and now broke up with me!
Q. Please help me figure this out. I have been in a serious relationship for a year now and I moved in with him 7 months ago. Things have been great, awesome and fabulous…I don’t understand what went wrong. About 2 months ago we started having more ...
A. 12 June 2009: As I was reading your questions, I thought maybe he was bipolar. I was with someone bipolar and after finding support blogs regarding other women with bipolar significant others, you kind of get the gist of how they work. If he is bipolar, it's ... (read in full...)
What should I do with my pregnancy?
Q. I just turned 17 and I'm pregnant. I'm not ready to be a mother. My boyfriend is 17 also and wants to keep the baby. I told him that I would either put it up for adoption or get an abortion if it's not too late. He told me that if I have it he ...
A. 12 June 2009: As hard as it is, please talk to your mom if you can. I know it is something that you are afraid of and you don't want her to be disappointed in you. But being someone that has gone through this first-hand, and having told my mom after I ... (read in full...)
When a girl asks you "Are you a player" what is the best answer?
Q. When a girl asks you "are you a player" ? What is the best way to answer this question Usually I just laugh it off and move on to the next topic but is there a better way to address this problem because I don't want to have girls feeling as if I'...
A. 12 June 2009: If a girl asks it's because she wants to know so she won't be wasting her time or hurt feelings on someone that just considers it all a game or joke. If you're afraid that they won't let you in their pants if you say yes, then go find girls that ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asked " if I need to borrow $200, would you do it" , after 5 years I said, he's angry, was I wrong?
Q. My boyfriend of one year asked me "What if I needed to borrow $200, would you let me?" I responded, "Maybe after we have been together for 5 years." Now he is mad and thinks I would never be there for him. Am I in the wrong for saying this? I love ...
A. 12 June 2009: Well let him know that you can't depend on babies either so maybe he should hit the road. And while he's at it, you'll find someone that's INdependent and not dependent.... (read in full...)
I want to run away with my teacher and start a new life!
Q. Okay last year when I was 15 i had this really hot teacher I didn't like her at first but she grew on me. Now I can't stop thinking about her. I mean I think about her so much that I can't stand it. Every day and night she is always on my mind.I ...
A. 12 June 2009: It's just not going to happen. You're 15 and she probably has absolutely no interest in you! I would suggest not going to her house ever, or looking up her personal information--it's seriously bizarre. Stay away from her, hopefully her husband ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend won't talk to me because of looking at porn
Q. I'm 24 and my girl friend is 20yr old girl we have been together for about 10 months now. I have been in several relationships before but nothing has come close to this. She is amazing, she drives me crazy and has so much going for her. We are both ...
A. 12 June 2009: It seems like you've given up a lot for this girl. Not that this is bad, but it seems like she definitely likes to control you because of her own insecurities. Honestly, when I was younger and much more insecure, I would be upset about my ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asked " if I need to borrow $200, would you do it" , after 5 years I said, he's angry, was I wrong?
Q. My boyfriend of one year asked me "What if I needed to borrow $200, would you let me?" I responded, "Maybe after we have been together for 5 years." Now he is mad and thinks I would never be there for him. Am I in the wrong for saying this? I love ...
A. 10 June 2009: No, I don't think that you're wrong with what you said. It was kind of vague, but like what KiwiiTOS said--it depends on the situation. Money can be a hardship on any relationship depending on the circumstances. If you don't trust a person to pay ... (read in full...)
Tell me, why do I only attract older guys?
Q. I'll try and keep this short...all of the men who have expressed physical interest in me are way older than I am. I just turned 21. Between age 19 and now, the guys who have flirted really persistently with me have been 41, 33, 28, and 36...and ...
A. 9 June 2009: I think it happens to be a coincidence that older guys are hitting on you all at once. Here and there the older guy will come along...and when I say older, I'm talking about some that are almost my grandfather's age! Just talk to them, have fun ... (read in full...)
Hearts not in it, but don't want to add to the pain
Q. I have been dating a girl for the past 3 months. We have gotten along fine and have actually never been in a fight, but my heart is just not in it any more. I struggled with the same thing at the beginning of the relationship, but I thought I have ...
A. 9 June 2009: Wow, 3-months? If it's only been 3 short months, then you must not have been into her in the first place. Did you just go with the flow because you just wanted someone to be there, so you just went with it?
I think you should be honest. ... (read in full...)
Why would he send me an email and then totally ignore me?
Q. So... I met a guy on the internet. We decided to meet in real life, and we ended up having a good time. The date lasted for about 4 hours and it felt like we were flirting and had something to talk about the whole time. Then, when I got home I saw...
A. 9 June 2009: Why do people always say that women are difficult? I think men are the stranger species. I think that he enjoyed his date with you and that's why he sent you an email. Him not replying is him being a guy. He may be just into dating around right ... (read in full...)
Help me name my baby!
Q. Alright, I am New so Hi! everybody! well, uh my question is I'm pregnant so I was thinkin of names ok, for a girl, I like Valentine, or Kairee (Kyree) for a boy I like Rohan (Row Hawn) what do you think? You can put suggestions too!...
A. 9 June 2009: I would stay away from names that they are going to be made fun of for. I think Valentine is really cute, but it's more of name for your pet (my friend's cat's name is Valentine). And same with the Lord of the Rings name...sorry no offense to your ... (read in full...)
My current guy isn't compatible with my needs and wants
Q. Hi, im new to this site and hope someone can really give me advice on what im going threw right now.... my topic is which lover do i choose First of all i've been in a realationship now with my boyfriend who is now 24 for a year now..im 21 and w...
A. 9 June 2009: The first guy isn't going to change. He'll act like he will or say he will because he's about to lose you. But as soon as he gets you back he'll resort back to his old ways. Stay with your new guy. He makes you happy and you didn't have to try ... (read in full...)
What should I do?? She likes me but..
Q. Okay here's the situation. I've been hanging out with this girl. She usually comes with a friend or I see her out in public. She's part of my crew, click, etc... So I see her frequently. Well, recently she seems to have gotten a crush on me. We...
A. 9 June 2009: What I'm getting from this is that the feelings are mutual? You're interested in her also?
If you are interested in her and want to take her out, then yes, call her and tell her. She would probably be blown away. If you're not that interest... (read in full...)
Leave him alone for good?
Q. I recently had a fight on christmas day with my boyfriend after we've been together for a year and I slapped him, he got mad and left. I called him we argued and he said "you what we should just be friends for a while because I'm tired of fighting", ...
A. 30 December 2008: Leave him alone until he calls you. He's probably pretty upset with you. No matter how angry you get at your boyfriend, you shouldn't ever slap him. Unless he calls you something unspeakable and absolutely deserves it. And if that was the case ... (read in full...)
What if he does it again?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years now, I really love him, he is very good to me and we are moving in together now but we have had a bumpy ride up until now. I always really trusted him but can't let him out of my sight these days ...
A. 30 December 2008: I think the question you should ask yourself is, if you really want to be in a relationship with someone that you really cannot trust. You trusted him before and he proved you wrong--you can't trust him. It's not healthy to have to constantly ... (read in full...)
I got an abortion, should I tell my ex?
Q. This October I got drunk and had sex with my ex and I ended up going to the hosptial for an absess on thanksgiving, I found out at the hospital that I was pregnant.. to make a long story short when I got out the hospital the day after thanksgiving I ...
A. 25 December 2008: He's a jerk and will never understand, just like the jerk that went on and on about how "selfish" women are for having abortions. I totally understand how you feel. I was in a very similar situation. I know you're emotional and you want to tell ... (read in full...)
I would like to take the relationship onto a physical level but all I ever get is a goodnight kiss.
Q. Hi, I have been seeing a lovely guy for bout 2 months now but not had many dates cos of his work pattern - he works day and nite shifts. He is really lovely and we always end up having a good laugh and seem to like a lot of the same things. We met ...
A. 15 November 2008: I think Emily gave an exceptional answer. He could be afraid--doesn't want to take things to the physical level if he's not getting any clues from you. Don't come off as desperate and throw yourself at him. A little more flirtation and a more ... (read in full...)
My guy friend tongue kissed me...do you think he 'really' likes me?
Q. well, my guy friend tongue kissed and cuddled one night. now, he said he was sorry for kissing me and that he was sleepy. he also said that he did not want to give me the wrong impression. when we kissed it did not feel like he did it on an ...
A. 28 October 2008: That's not a question any of us can answer, only him. He could be making up excuses because maybe he thought you didn't like it and he doesn't want to end up feeling like a jackass if he likes you and you don't like him back. Or he could have just ... (read in full...)
My gf needs time to think as she still misses her ex bf! Do I give her the space?
Q. So my girlfriend says she needs time to think about things because she still misses her ex. She says she loves me more than she has loved anyone but she still thinks we can't be together. I just found out that she has been calling him and meeting ...
A. 28 October 2008: She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Don't allow it, she'll walk all over you. Sure, give her space, but don't wait for her. Meet other people and if sometime in the future you end up together then that's what happens. But don't sit around ... (read in full...)
Ladies, how much does physical attractiveness, in a man, mean to you?
Q. I feel so insecure about my body these days, I know I'm not at the peek of physical fitness but I am an active person and feel like I shouldn't have to be the guy rippling with muscles and washboard abs. What I want to know is... Women how much...
A. 28 October 2008: Ask yourself the same question. Not everybody is going to be attracted to the same type of person. However, are you TRULY attracted to someone who isn't very secure with themself or just not very physically attractive? Not every girl likes guys ... (read in full...)
My family tells me to stay away from him or they won't help me but I still love him!
Q. hi, im a 28/f. I was in a bad relationship, he hurt me physically and emtionally, and took over my money. We broke up , but we have a child together and i still love him and want to chat, but my family tells me to stay away from him, and they ...
A. 22 August 2008: He made you feel good unlike your family? What?!? Ditto what Cupidguy said! I don't mean to criticize...but really? Your family is doing this because they don't know what else to do to keep you away from the guy! You said so yourself that it ... (read in full...)
Can I succeed in life even if I don't totally complete school?
Q. iM A graduating at the end of the year and most likly wont get all my senoir point on my certificate. Im stressing so much that i will never be anything or wont get anywhere. Has anyone else failed grade twelve but still become something great? I am ...
A. 22 August 2008: Paris Hilton never finished high school...haha. Finish school. Life isn't easy. The people that didn't finish school already had a great gift--either through persuasion or a great idea or are lucky. If you don't have a great talent--finish ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my ex and he's getting married!
Q. Hi,i'm 18 and I have been obssessed with my ex-boyfriend, I'm afraid that this has been effecting my life, personal and professional. I haven't seen him in over 5 months. It was a long distance relationship, But we finally called it quits about a ...
A. 22 August 2008: I think you shouldn't even worry about that. Obviously you respect yourself and you have certain boundaries: you won't have sex until you're married. With that said, if that was his reasoning he is a complete ass. If someone truly loves you and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me to have contact with my ex, or with guys on line.
Q. I've been dating this guy for 5 months, he doesn't like me to have any contact with my ex, even texting because his ex cheated on him with her ex. I don't talk to my ex very often, he text me once in a while to see how I'm doing and that's the end ...
A. 22 August 2008: Yes, your boyfriend is being reasonable in not wanting you to talk to your ex or any other guys. Maybe I'm totally blind to the reason why people even stay in contact with their ex's, but I never see the point. I see it this way: a boyfriend is a ... (read in full...)
I seem to have dreams, that come true , but to other people around me, is this a coincidence or what, can somebody help?
Q. Hi this may sound wierd, but can someone help me.??? I always have dreams about things that always occur in my future. I once had a dream that I was pregnant and it felt so real but I awoke from it and fortunately it wasn't...but a week later I ...
A. 21 August 2008: This happens to me as well. Sometimes more than others. For a while it was happening quite frequently, then went away, and then came back. They were too bizarre of dreams that ended up actually occurring for me not to think that there is a ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my ex and he's getting married!
Q. Hi,i'm 18 and I have been obssessed with my ex-boyfriend, I'm afraid that this has been effecting my life, personal and professional. I haven't seen him in over 5 months. It was a long distance relationship, But we finally called it quits about a ...
A. 21 August 2008: Time! And I know that's a sucky answer, but things take time, especially when it's getting over someone you were in love with. If you two only broke up a month ago and he's already getting married...WTF? So I'm guessing he was seeing someone else ... (read in full...)
Male Opinions: He worshipped me and now avoids me!
Q. I'm 35 and have been in a relationship for a year with a 39 y/o man. I believed was my soul mate. Alex also felt the same way about me. We have known each other for 2 years prior to our relationship ever beginning. We had coffee one day and out of ...
A. 21 August 2008: To put it simply: you're always there. Yes, you're the one who always caves in first and makes the first call. Dont't try and win a man over by buying him gifts, although it is because you care and it is his birthday--you cater to him way too ... (read in full...)
Jealous, Insecure, Contolling, Possessive, Clingy Girlfriend (Who I love with everything)
Q. Me and my girlfriend fight almost every day, and most of the time, its about the smallest little thing. The fights get loud and emotionally charged. We have identified a few of the problems with both of us. One of them is that we both get angry or ...
A. 21 August 2008: Here's what I think: you telling her all what you think is going to cause her to turn things around on you. She'll say that she does what she does because of you. Honestly, you two are really young, and it's a shame to be stuck in a relationship ... (read in full...)
None of my friends are in any of my classes this year, I don't know what to do!
Q. well today i started school. In all of my classes none of my friends were there. I don't have any friends in my classes. Now i'm all left alone with no one to talk to. Everyone seems to have their own friends. The students in all of my classes don't ...
A. 19 August 2008: Aww..don't feel this way! I think you may have a case of inferiority complex. It's the first day of class...you'll make friends and have people to talk to after a little while! Try going to college and having to do things in groups or pairs and ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance I could have HIV?
Q. ok i have just found out that my sexual partner is supposed to be hiv positive, the last time we had sex was on the 8 of this month and we used protection, could there be a chance of me having it, i also went to get my first pap smear on aug.14 and ...
A. 19 August 2008: I would get checked anyway. Just because the condom could be defective. Also, get tested several times! Sometimes it can take a while for it to show. Hope everything ends up ok :) Also, how did you recently find out that your partner is HIV ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, but my husband doesn't want another baby. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hi Im 25 year old female married and have two beautiful children.Ive just found out that im pregant with our third,and my husband wants me to have an abortion. I want this baby but scared this baby may destroyed out marrige.I dont know what to do?...
A. 19 August 2008: If YOU don't want to do it, then don't. I'll be honest, I had an abortion and I really didn't want to, but I mainly did it to make the guy happy and because I figured it was for the best (which it might have been, who knows). Anyhow, I would say ... (read in full...)
I thought he was rude to ask me to swallow so soon!
Q. i just started dating this 23 year old guy about a month ago..I'm 20..we became physical fairly quickly, but no sex...however the 2nd time i gave him oral sex he asked me to swallow...i thought that was very rude and being a big mouthed girl i ...
A. 16 August 2008: I honestly don't know why you would find that offensive. Obviously you're giving him oral to try to please him and him asking you to swallow was just something he wanted you to do to "enhance" the experience. I really don't think there's a certain ... (read in full...)
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