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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Two guys. Which date to cancel? Considering the circumstances?
Q. Hey, I seem to have gotten myself caught up in a very odd situation. So, let me start off by saying that I had my boyfriend for 4 months, then we broke up, except it wasn't a clean break up. We decided to stay friends, although I only agreed to that ...
A. 18 September 2013: Well if you tell him your situation, chances are, he probably won't want to date you anyway. However, you clearly keep putting yourself back into this toxic relationship with your ex and you were not ready to date to begin with. You were looking ... (read in full...)
How Long Do You Pay For EVERYTHING When Dating?
Q. At what point do you start to split the bills, if you will, when dating? I'm 3 weeks or so into it with this girl, and I'm starting to really feel the burn on my wallet. I know she's not a "gold digger" and I'm almost more than certain she'd be fine ...
A. 18 September 2013: Well yeah, it's customary when you're dating a woman that you pretty much pay for everything. You are the one asking her out.
BUT, I could see it as being a little difficult figuring out how you would bring up to her that she needs to help out... (read in full...)
Why is she so quiet and boring?
Q. I recently met a beautiful girl that's 10 years younger. Physically, she's perfect but she is extremely quiet on dates. It's very awkward as we never engage in conversations. We can go 2-3 hours without saying much to eachother. I try to sometimes ...
A. 16 September 2013: If you really like her, then talking to her is an idea. I wouldn't recommend saying she's boring, but that sometimes her lack of input makes you think she's not that interested and maybe she'll get the idea.
Otherwise, she could be a little s... (read in full...)
Is fisting normal?
Q. I just met a beautiful 22 year old (I'm 10 years older) and after our 1st intercourse, she asked me to "fist" her. She derived huge pleasure from it but I was shocked. I've had considerable experience but never have I had a girl ask me this. ...
A. 14 September 2013: Not normal! At least my other lady friends aren't too shy about sharing with me about what they "like" and I've never had one admit to me that they enjoy being fisted! Oh man, just the thought of it makes me hurt...down there. Whatever floats ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to move in with a guy
Q. Hi all, I am 28 and my girlfriend is 26. She is a traveling nurse so she moves pretty frequently. We have only been dating about 2 months and only official for one month. The way her job works is that she will work in a city for 3 months then go...
A. 13 September 2013: Where I live, it's common to have roommates of the opposite sex. I lived in a place once, 3 girls 1 guy and he had a girlfriend that didn't live with us (at first), she lived across the country. It really wasn't a big deal. He was cool and ... (read in full...)
Does she want to fire me?
Q. I started working at a doctor's office as a medical biller last week. This week I made the mistake of giving someone the wrong insurance card. The owner of the insurance card became quite cross and said she might not return to this office anymore. ...
A. 13 September 2013: She probably doesn't want to fire you, it's only your second week of work. She knows it's your first job and you're going to make some mistakes, but usually the first 90-days is a probation period, so she'll probably keep an eye on you to make sure ... (read in full...)
Is it too late to tell him about my miscarriage?
Q. when i was 14 i lost my virginity to my then boyfriend Johnny, the following year he dumped me in november a week later i found out i was pregnant around 5 weeks gone, NOONE knew i told noone i was soo scared and was not ready to be a mother i ...
A. 13 September 2013: No, find a therapist to talk to. There's no point in bringing it up to him, he has a different family now and so do you. ... (read in full...)
I need techniques to keep calm when I go on this date!
Q. Greetings everyone, I have a big favour to ask... I am going on a date next week with a women that I think is perfect in every way, but I’m concerned that I will be to nervous; are there any techniques anyone can give me to make sure I am calm a...
A. 13 September 2013: I'm gonna have to go with alcohol. Unless you decide to get drunk before your date, then yeah, your judgment will suck and you might say things you didn't want to. Throw back ONE shot and chill out, it's worked for me plenty of times to get over ... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend saw me with my new friend!
Q. I was in a relationship for a year and I recently broke up with her. Its been about two weeks and we only talked once. I broke up with her because she cheated on me. She blacked out and I guess from what she told me she made out with another guy ...
A. 11 September 2013: No, don't contact her. It sounds like you're a nice guy and you're trying to smooth things over, but there's really no point. Continue going on about your life and let her get over it and move on with her own life without you contacting her.... (read in full...)
My EX from 2 weeks ago is already ENGAGED to her PREVIOUS EX!!! Help!!!
Q. So I figured I would get an outsiders, unbiased perspective on this situation. My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. We broke it off very well; maturely, trying to stay friends, and kept it very civil. We were dating for about a year...
A. 9 September 2013: I hope you know that in 6-months to a year you're probably going to laugh about this whole situation. I've been in a similar situation and I was like...WHAT?! You've known each other for a few months and you want to get married?! Not a good ... (read in full...)
Did he end things because he has found someone else?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago. He said he needed space and personal time. He asked me to take his things that he had left at my house because we lived together I took his things to him he told me that we both just needed time for our ...
A. 7 September 2013: I don't think the way he's acting would indicate that he's found someone else. He sounds like someone that broke up because he wanted space and personal time and you're not giving him any of that. Is giving him back his stuff really that important ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend acts like she's black
Q. Before me, my girlfriend had only dated black guys. I'm the first white guy she has ever dated. Around me she acts like her normal self but in public (usually only around black people) she acts like she is black. It gets really annoying. Don't get ...
A. 5 September 2013: Well I'm not really sure what you're asking. What you should do about not feeling like you're good enough for your girlfriend? Or maybe not exactly what your girlfriend really wants?
I get what you mean by "acting black." At least here in the U... (read in full...)
I'm the older sister at the younger sister's wedding and I need advice on how to deal with the intrusive questions!
Q. My younger sister and her fiance are getting married in december, (interstate.) As well as their friends, and my brother and his family some extended family members,are also travelling to attend, its not a big wedding about 60 ppl. I am si...
A. 3 September 2013: Uggghhh! I hate when people ask me, "Why aren't you married?" It's the most annoying, next to, "Why don't you have any kids?"
While these questions can be extremely annoying, also keep in mind that people ask you questions (although, not alwa... (read in full...)
After I quit my job because my boss was furious, I have lost interest in my career choice! Why?
Q. Hi guys!! So this really isn't a relationship question, but i don't have anyone else to turn too, so i'm just gonna ask you guys! Last july I passed my last year in college (studying culinary arts) with flying colours, and will be graduati...
A. 30 August 2013: Don't be surprised if you end up changing your mind 100 more times on what you want to do in the next decade! It happens. You become really gung-ho about something and go for it...then you realize it's not something you want to do the rest of your ... (read in full...)
I hate this job but don't want to be seen as a quitter
Q. Would you quit a job you've been at 4 months if you hated it? I know it hasn't been long but I feel myself wanting to give up and walk out the door some days. I work with infants who are very demanding at a daycare. The crying babies, high ...
A. 30 August 2013: No, you won't be perceived as a quitter for leaving after 4-months. If you decided having a job in general is not something you want to do, then yeah, quitter might be a better term. But this particular job just isn't working out for you. There's ... (read in full...)
I fear I am being used and lied to!
Q. I need to know if my boyfriend is lying and using me. The thing is my boyfriend used my computer to go on to Facebook and forgot to log out. I noticed this and automatically went to do so when I saw my name in a concerning way so I read it. I felt ...
A. 25 August 2013: I really feel for you on this one, I would feel horrible too if I found out my boyfriend was saying things like this about me to his friends!
Honestly, I think what you need to do is really think hard and decide if you really want to be in a rel... (read in full...)
Worth trying? Or pointless? Do you think I can contact her and have coffee and try for the truth?
Q. Thank you Aunts for your time reading my agony...My boyfriend of 2.5 years had a ' friend' that he met up with at her house unbeknownst to me over a year ago, i caught him there, he said they were just friends and were talking about a guy she was ...
A. 24 August 2013: Personally, from an outsiders point-of-view on what you described; I think if anything was going on with them, she wouldn't try to include you in anything. She's invited you over before, she's tried to be friends with you on FB, and she invited you ... (read in full...)
She hasn't invited me to her friends' wedding?
Q. My girlfriend has been invited to one of her friend's wedding next month (an ex, but they're still friends, which is totally fine with me by the way). It's in the middle of a week we both have off on holiday. Anyway, she told me that it didn't come ...
A. 24 August 2013: I don't think you should tell her that she's being rude or pissed you off. That might cause her to become a little defensive and turn it into an unnecessary argument. I think you should just ask her if there's a reason why she didn't invite you as ... (read in full...)
Pretty girl on the tube -- how to approach her?
Q. so there's this girl I've seen on the tube a few times recently, and I thinks she's quite pretty. id like to say hi, but not sure of the best way to do so if I see her again? I mean to just approach someone like that in a crowded environment not ...
A. 21 August 2013: This is overthinking! I've had men talk to me and had no idea they were hitting on me. Instead of wasting time and seeing if she makes eye contact and judge that on whether or not you'll talk to her is too much. Either stand or sit next to her ... (read in full...)
I'm married, he's married. Do I tell him that I have a crush?
Q. I am married and I have a crush on a married teacher I met only briefly. Should I tell him? ...
A. 21 August 2013: So you only met them briefly and you were attracted to them...hmm I don't think it's grounds for telling them you have a crush on them. Ultimately, you'll probably end up embarrassing yourself.... (read in full...)
Why do some people have so much more pain than others?
Q. Wondering what are the major causes of distracted , painful lives? I feel, I have unquestionably more pain im my life than others. I now, pain cant be measured, but I know, my challenges are only happening to low number of people. Like losing a ...
A. 21 August 2013: "I was wondering , what are your thoughts, what can generally wreck lives? Choices? Luck? Mental illness? Or why some people have so much more pain, than others? What are the general causes in your opinion? Thanks"
This was asked by you, OP, yet ... (read in full...)
Why do some people have so much more pain than others?
Q. Wondering what are the major causes of distracted , painful lives? I feel, I have unquestionably more pain im my life than others. I now, pain cant be measured, but I know, my challenges are only happening to low number of people. Like losing a ...
A. 20 August 2013: Well I think it depends on the person. Some people are more sensitive than others so what may be painful to one person, may not be as painful to another. Also, I think it depends on what you've experienced in life. For example, my parents started ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has been ignoring my messages, I feel like she is seeing someone else
Q. So I want to keep this short because most people wont read it if its really long. My girlfriend has been short with me this week and distant she doesn't send me cute good morning texts and goodnight which makes me lead to the decision that she is ...
A. 17 August 2013: Could it be as simple as something happened to her phone and she can't call/text you back?... (read in full...)
Why was she hesitant to give me a kiss? Before that we talked.Any suggestions on how I could have handled it?
Q. I would just appreciate opinions on the following: I was sitting alone in a venue in the early hours, when a girl sat near me and started talking to me. Which is quite unusual for a female to do at 2am. The normal thing they do is stand around g...
A. 11 August 2013: No offense, but it's a little odd to ask a girl if she wants a kiss just because she was talking to you. Some people are chatty. You weren't even attracted to her, so what does it really matter? She was probably just talking, doesn't know you, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is planning a weekend away with a female friend
Q. Id like some honest advice from men and women to see if I am just being over jealous or if anyone else would feel the same as me. My boyfriend of a year has a 4 year old girl from a previous relationship. He has lots of female friends which I ...
A. 31 July 2013: Does his "friend" even know about you? Yes, he should run it by you first and you should be invited. If you're not invited, I would second guess your relationship. ... (read in full...)
Happily married men do porn???
Q. My husband just came home from a 2 week business trip. I noticed the Internet history on his laptop was full of porn including a site called " F@$ and k women locally" and it gave a web address of our home city. I was so shocked when I went to look ...
A. 31 July 2013: Yes, men and women look at porn, happily married and happily single. Those ads actually pop up--you don't have to click on it and it'll show up on your history.... (read in full...)
My mother wants me to buy my own house
Q. This is not a relationship question. As a young adult who has a BA degree and a stable career, would you recommend I put a down payment on a home and buy it or continue to rent? My mother tells me to buy a house so that I can own somethin...
A. 31 July 2013: Well I think it depends on where you live. I personally think it's good to own something and it's a buyer's market right now. But, if you don't see yourself staying anywhere long, I think you should buy IF it's easy to rent out your home. I live ... (read in full...)
How do people cope with being plain looking?
Q. Has anyone else ever had this? At 21 I was really good looking, then at 23 I noticed my face changing, not aging like wrinkles just started to look like another family member (one I didn't want to look like) I was still fairly good looking the...
A. 29 July 2013: Your face changing as you get older, very possible! At 29, I can tell mine has changed and I actually look a lot like my aunt now (my grandma even noticed the same thing), whereas when I was younger, I looked hardly related to her!
I doubt yo... (read in full...)
I told my girlfriend's friend she was hot, and now there is friction between them
Q. Dear cupid, Just eight days ago , I said to my girlfriend's close friend , in front of her, that "Oh my God, you are one hell of a hot girl." . Her friend just smiled whereas my girlfriend said "Enough" . Ever since that happened, my girlfrie...
A. 29 July 2013: To echo everyone else, way immature! Inconsiderate, rude, disrespectful, etc. etc.
"My question is what's wrong with girls? When you don't talk to their friends, they don't like it. When you do, they also have issue with that. So what should w... (read in full...)
My future in-laws refuse to help my fiancé but do everything for his irresponsible brother who has just got his new girlfriend pregnant
Q. I have a situation...well maybe not really a situation of my own, but I feel it affects my fiance and I enough that I'm not sure how to respond to it. MY fiance's brother just found out his girlfriend of 2 1/2 months is pregnant. Neither has a de...
A. 28 July 2013: I'm guessing his parents expect more out of you two and not so much out of the brother. I'm sure they know you two are the more responsible couple and that you'll be better able to take care of yourselves. I don't know the history, but sounds like ... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate or inappropriate for your sister to live with your soon-to-be ex husband?
Q. Appropriate or inappropriate? My husband and I were having problems. My sister broke up with her boyfriend and requested to live in the house, I said no and gave her other options. My husband and I were on the verge of separation, I didn't think it ...
A. 24 July 2013: I think it's inappropriate and as WiseOwlE said, insensitive and disloyal! Why is she so adamant about stay there anyway? It's weird. It may be his house, but if technically you're still married, isn't it your house too? She's acting like a ... (read in full...)
If you have cheated before, are you not worthy of any future relationships? Are cheaters really 'red flags'?
Q. I have read so many questions and responses on DC. The most common response or feedback is IF HE OR SHE HAS CHEATED ON HIS/HER GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND OR WIFE/HUSBAND BEFORE, YOU SHOULD NOT BE WITH HIM/HER BECAUSE HE/SHE WOULD DO THE SAME TO YOU! ...
A. 24 July 2013: YouWish, no offense taken!... (read in full...)
If you have cheated before, are you not worthy of any future relationships? Are cheaters really 'red flags'?
Q. I have read so many questions and responses on DC. The most common response or feedback is IF HE OR SHE HAS CHEATED ON HIS/HER GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND OR WIFE/HUSBAND BEFORE, YOU SHOULD NOT BE WITH HIM/HER BECAUSE HE/SHE WOULD DO THE SAME TO YOU! ...
A. 23 July 2013: I don't always believe the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" deal." Why? Because I've been a cheater before and I haven't cheated in any other relationships after that. While, I do think there are some people that are serial cheaters and ... (read in full...)
My best male friend has cut me out of his life after his wife got jealous
Q. My male friend and I have been best friends ever since High School. We are both grown around our 30's now and we've been talking on the phone and emailing each other past years, I'am married with 2 kids and he just got married last year and a ...
A. 23 July 2013: Well first, the country is called Iraq, not Irag.
I know you wanted a man's perspective, but I'm not sure it really matters in this case. BUT, you did overstep your boundaries. Being his best friend still puts you lower in ranking than his wife... (read in full...)
I'm not her type, but she went on a date with me?
Q. Hey everyone! I recently went on a date with this girl, who I've been pursuing for like 6 weeks. She and I have an extraordinary amount in common, from musical taste, sense of humor, race and even religion - the main reason behind me being so a...
A. 13 July 2013: Sometimes women still date men that aren't really their "type" because they know that these men are probably a really nice and funny guy with a great personality and hope that getting to know them will make the attraction grow.
I think maybe it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is completely broken up by the loss of his brother
Q. My boyfriend had a 7 year old brother whom he was extremely close to (the child's father wasn't in his life) about a week ago the boy died from heart problems. Since then, my boyfriend has hardly said a word and hasn't eaten anything and sits...
A. 13 July 2013: There's not much you can do besides be there for him and listen to him. He's mourning and it sounds like a very hard/emotional situation for him. I know there's something you wish you could do to instantaneously make him feel better, but this is ... (read in full...)
Can't orgasm, sex is painful -- is the problem in my head?
Q. Im going to get right to the point. Ive never had an orgasm. I cant masturbate. Tried before, and it doesnt feel good at all, and I feel awkward doing it. It has to be pitch dark for me to try, otherwise I feel like someone is watching me even ...
A. 13 July 2013: They actually did a whole True Life episode on exactly what you're talking about on MTV. It followed several women that have the same problem you described and how it was affected their sex lives and their relationships. ... (read in full...)
I'm tempted to have an affair with my hot co-worker to get back at my husband for the pain he put me through 3 years ago
Q. I am currently married for 3 yrs now. However, my husband and i had many issues in the beginning of our relationship when we were dating. he didnt tell me that he was still emailing his exgirlfriend because he told me she wanted to end her life so ...
A. 29 June 2013: I really think you need to seek therapy. What your husband did in the past really doesn't sound that bad and I think you're using it as an excuse to cheat on him. You say you broke into his email but you didn't say you found anything...it doesn't ... (read in full...)
My friend assaulted me, should I report it to the police?
Q. Hi guys. Not a relationship question, but I could really do with some advice here! Last week a friend bit me. Hard. It was completely unprovoked, and I don't know if he just thought he was being funny or what. We were sitting on the couch, just ...
A. 27 June 2013: It really does sound weird to me. Just having a conversation, unprovoked, and he just decided to flip your legs up and bite you? That's really odd.
I see you're in Norway, so I don't know how seriously police take incidents such as thing. ... (read in full...)
Booty call to something more
Q. I met a guy via a friend. Hung out a few times. Ran into each other after a night if drinking and slept together. He texted me the next day. We texted allot. Somewhere along the line it came to light that all I wanted was a booty call. He asked if ...
A. 27 June 2013: I think you should tell him (it's okay to change your mind) that since you've gotten to know him better that you do like his personality etc. and that you're okay if things could lead to more than fwb. The worst he could say is he would rather stay ... (read in full...)
He gave me chlamydia and wasn't upfront with me about it. Is withholding information the same as lying?
Q. I'm 3 months pregnant and through the series of required blood tests, I tested positive for chlamydia. Totally shocked, I told my bf what the doc said and asked if there was anything he needed to tell me (I tested negative at my last visit in ...
A. 26 June 2013: What I think is relevant is if he's still seeing other people or this girl that gave him chlamydia. If he really did hook up with someone else during a "break" then I don't think he necessarily needed to tell you, BUT I do think it was ... (read in full...)
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