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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Should I tell my best friend I am in love with her?
Q. Please help me :( So i am 15 turning 16 next month. I am starting to fall in love for the second time now, butt this time, Its deeper, this girl is like no other. She is beautiful, kind, nice, etc etc. She has everything a good guy wants from a ...
A. 22 June 2011: Well she's already told you that she will, relax man. Just get together and go with the flow.
See what happens...
Good luck... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend I am in love with her?
Q. Please help me :( So i am 15 turning 16 next month. I am starting to fall in love for the second time now, butt this time, Its deeper, this girl is like no other. She is beautiful, kind, nice, etc etc. She has everything a good guy wants from a ...
A. 22 June 2011: Congrats man!
And yeah, she is saying she doesn't want to make you feel like she did when she broke up with her BF.
Just try it out, hopefully everything goes well for you guys and even if it doesn't work out, you will then know and at leas... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend I am in love with her?
Q. Please help me :( So i am 15 turning 16 next month. I am starting to fall in love for the second time now, butt this time, Its deeper, this girl is like no other. She is beautiful, kind, nice, etc etc. She has everything a good guy wants from a ...
A. 21 June 2011: I'd definately think about telling her how you feel VERY SOON, leave it too long and you're going to fall into the friend zone and believe me buddy, it's like a bottomless pit.
If you tell her, at least she knows, it may be awkward for a while bu... (read in full...)
Strangely attracted to a girl not my usual type. She gets made fun of a lot an I'm afraid friends will turn on me to What now?
Q. Okay so theres this girl that i just met and she likes me and i think shes kinda cute but my friends dont they were making fun of her really bad even though i kinda liked her i admit shes not my usual type shes short and not as thin as my usual ...
A. 21 June 2011: She's going to be in a relationship with you, not your friends, they have no say in what type of girl you go for.
Kudos to you for not being as shallow as the majority of people today and going for someone that you like the personality of rather t... (read in full...)
Is this a case of 'he's just not that into me'?
Q. We'd flirt etc online and he told me he liked me. I liked him a lot too. He lives in the UK and I'm in the US. One day I wrote him a nice long email explaining how I feel about him and really liked him. I hinted that I wanted to be in a relationship ...
A. 21 June 2011: Well, for a start you're both pretty young and you live thousands of miles away, do you think that's a good idea? I mean, what are the chances that you're going to meet up anytime soon?
You can't hang out, see each other or get intimate or do an... (read in full...)
What are the next steps to revive a sexless marriage?
Q. I have posted to this forum before about my sexless marriage. My wife and I have been together 19 years and have not had a sex life in about 16 years, having sex maybe a dozen times in that span and none at all in the last 5 years. Thanks to ...
A. 21 June 2011: "She said she just doesn't see me in a sexual way or feel about me in a romantic sense anymore."
Wow, that's a pretty big comment to make to your HUSBAND, that is enough to shatter a guy...if she doesn't see you like that anymore, basicall... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is loyal, but looks at porn?
Q. I recently discovered my boyfriend looks at pornography through an accidental slip on his part. He is not aware that I know. We were friends when we lived in the same city, and become a couple after he moved away.Because of the distance, we hav...
A. 21 June 2011: I see a lot of these types of questions and to be quite blunt, porn is simply something to beat your meat over, how could that possibly compare to having sex with your girlfriend who you love?
I really wouldn't worry about it, like you said, it... (read in full...)
Too shy to talk to my girlfriend and we are meeting up tonight! Help!
Q. i am too shy to talk to my girlfriend i need a lot of help !!!! help we are supposed to meet up tonight xx...
A. 21 June 2011: How did you manage to get a girlfriend that you're not comfortable speaking to? How did you get her to become interested in the first place?... (read in full...)
He touched another girl's tummy
Q. hiya. i've been with my boyfriend 3 years.. basically it was boyfriends 21st last night and i was invited to go out with him and his friends (which is very rare), but we went out. there was me, him, 3 of his lad mates and 1 girl. the girl was nic...
A. 20 June 2011: You have every right to be p****d off I'll tell you that. Let him know that you're not happy with him blatantly flirting with another girl right in front of you and also leaving you stranded in town whilst he disappeared.
Keep an eye on his beha... (read in full...)
Is he just rubbing salt into my wounds?
Q. Hi am just looking for some advice really and im hoping someone could help me. I have a male friend who ive been friends with for 8 years. Im 26 he is 30.Longstory short i met him through a friend, she was dating him at the time. I havent seen this ...
A. 20 June 2011: Worldywise has hit the nail on the head...ask him, find out what his intentions are, if he wants to start dating or form a relationship then congratulations for you! If not, then I'd start to cut back on seeing him so much as it's clear that you're ... (read in full...)
He's been very obviously staring at my body for four years. People have made comment. What is his problem?
Q. There's an older (married) guy who has been attracted to me for four years and has made it obvious. Unlike most guys, he is actually interested in me (not just my body) in getting to know the person I am. He never came up to me to talk or anyt...
A. 20 June 2011: You said he's never spoken to you but he checks you out? And he's different to other men? - I'm sorry but how is that correct?
As mentioned by everyone else, different men do stare at 12 year olds, not the kind that you want to be dealing with and... (read in full...)
He had a secret Facebook account and was talking to a girl on there, but now I have opened my own account he says he cant trust me!
Q. How do I respond to an unfair comment about trust from my bf? The story goes like this: A couple of years ago I found out my bf had a secret facebook account. Not only it was secret, but he was talking to a girl in a very intimate and friendly ...
A. 20 June 2011: Well that's a big red flag right there, you know he's been chatting to other women intimately which shows that he is probably willing to cheat on you if the situation arises.
Continue as you are, keep in contact with YOUR friends, he has no say o... (read in full...)
I know I should wait to have sex, but I think I'm ready.....is this the right choice?
Q. im 14 and like other teen girls i think about sex A LOT and i think im ready to have sex with my boyfriend but im scared of the pain or what could happen if we (Im) not carefull......you might think "oh all he wants is sex" not really i told him i ...
A. 20 June 2011: I'd say it's a bad mistake, you're way too young, not to mention it being illegal.
I didn't have sex until I was 19, I waited for a special person and it was a pretty special experience made better by who it was with.
I know it will be hard, bu... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the fact my ex has moved on?
Q. About 3 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. We had a long distance relationship for about 8 months of it, and I finally broke it off because of drug issues/long distance insecurities/continuous fighting and a need for space. At the ...
A. 20 June 2011: Sorry to be blunt, but why shouldn't he have moved on? You were the one that broke up with him. He was inevitably going to do so, it's just that everyone manages to do it at different speeds (could of taken him a week, a month, 2 months, but it was ... (read in full...)
Living in a foreign country and about to return home, my ex has asked if I can buy her some jewellery which she will pay for - shall I buy it? Should I tell my wife?
Q. Hi guys, I have been living in a foreign country for two years with my wife and plan to return to our home country soon. Yesterday, my ex surprised me with a call asking me to buy her some jewellery but made it very clear she would pay for it. I ...
A. 20 June 2011: Wouldn't even entertain the thought, ignore it and carry on with life.
If you do decide to help her, as sexlessintheuk mentioned, she could tell people it's a gift which would create all sorts of problems for yourself!
Maybe she's using this... (read in full...)
Any name ideas for a little boy?
Q. Hey! I am pregnant and we've recently found out it's a little boy... We're running out of ideas for baby names so... Could anyone help us coming up with some ideas? Thanks everyone!...
A. 19 June 2011: I see from the flag you're from Spain...are you looking for a name originating from Spain? or does that not matter? My favourite Spanish ones would be.... Pedro Enrique Enzo Alonso Eziquel Esteban Xavier Javier Josue Luis Santiago ... (read in full...)
Why is my partner with me when there are so many beautiful women out there?
Q. Why is my partner with me when there are so many better looking women out there? I don't get it, its not just me and my partner. I see some men/women date and marry people who are rather unattractive, when they can be out there dating someone g...
A. 18 June 2011: Maybe because they aren't shallow and see past a person's looks? A personality and compatibility with someone is much more important than looks.... (read in full...)
How did we go from being the closest of friends, to nothing at all?!
Q. This guy from my town added me randomly on Facebook almost a year ago (I already knew of him so he wasn't a complete stranger) - we got talking, and would talk literally every night till the early hours of the morning for several months without ...
A. 18 June 2011: Had the exact same situation myself, but I'm the guy and the girl didn't have a bf. We started off as friends being introduced through my sister and followed the same path that you did. Yeah it's a shame stuff like this happens, we talked eve... (read in full...)
According to the rules of dating, should I text my bf to tell him whenever I am going out?
Q. I just want to know what are the rules of dating? Am i supposed to let the person know when I'm going out or not?...simple as that..I'm dating a guy but I'm not sure if he's serious cuz I always am the one who texts him no matter what and he texts ...
A. 18 June 2011: Even if he was your boyfriend you wouldn't always need to tell him....you are leading your own life and nobody can stop you from doing what you want...... (read in full...)
For 4 years, I've been seeing a guy who has a gf, and I want more commitment. What should I do?
Q. i'm sort of seeing/sleeping w/ a guy that i think i'm in love w/ but the problem is he has a girlfriend for six years and we have been cheating on her for 4 years already. it has come to a point that that i almost broke it off w/ him but i really ...
A. 18 June 2011: Even if this guy did break up with his gf for you, how could you trust him? You already know that he's willing to cheat...... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to use another guy's pictures when chatting to her? Or is she over-reacting?
Q. I had been talking to this girl for a few weeks just for fun and chatting with her. Initially I posted this other guys pictures. She got really upset and yelled at me and also removed me as her contact. From my understanding we flirted but ther...
A. 17 June 2011: Because you lied to her, not exactly the best thing to do whilst getting to know someone...what it if got to the stage where she wanted to meet you and you didn't look anything like the pictures that you showed her?
Bad move my friend, she has ... (read in full...)
How can I trust him when he puts a security lock on his phone?
Q. I've been with this man for 7yrs which I have experienced everything from cheating, verbally and physical abuse which he say's he has never given me a black eye but tried chokin me twice..go figure!! Which thank god the last time he put his hands on ...
A. 16 June 2011: You could of left him when he cheated, you could of left him when he physically abused him, but the thing you're worried about is a lock on his phone?? I'm sorry but did I read that right?
How are you still with this guy? Cheater + abusive ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being unreasonable and too controlling?
Q. I am really at my wits end trying to not break up with my bf of two years. This week is my grandmother's memorial service and after that I am heading on a trip with my family to put her ashes where she wanted them. I will be gone a week and a half ...
A. 15 June 2011: Yes, he is being very inconsiderate, needy and childish. If he can't have the respect to give you the time to celebrate the life of your grandmother with your family then you need to tell him to back off.
He sounds very very needy, doesn't ... (read in full...)
I don't trust guys because of my past!
Q. Ever since i was sexually assaulted at 15, ive found it hard to trust guys. sometimes i still trust the ones that i shouldn't and don't trust the ones that i should. im really confused, ever since that day i've hated myself. i've hated what i l...
A. 15 June 2011: Why do you hate yourself? Its not your fault and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.
I used to have real confidence issues too, hated the way I looked and what not, so I started to do something about it I go to the gym, I eat healthil... (read in full...)
I'm hesitant about dating because of my weight and my penis size
Q. I am 21 years old and I weigh about 350 pounds. My penis is only about 5 inches long and 1.75 inches wide. I am very hesitant on dating because I am afraid that girls are shallow about my weight, or the fact that my penis is too small. This in turn ...
A. 15 June 2011: Dude, if you feel bad about yourself, make something happen. Start hitting the gym, do some cardio, start a diet and healthy eating. I have a website that could help you out no end that I use myself for weight training. It covers everything from fat ... (read in full...)
Extremely shy around girls...how do I overcome this?
Q. I've heard from a couple friends at work that when we first met they kind of thought that I gave off the impression of aloofness. After getting to know me though , they realized that I'm just a quieter more reserved kind of guy. I really do have a ...
A. 15 June 2011: I'm the same as you man, really shy around girls but its simple what you have to do, when you know a girl well and you feel you want to move past friends with her, the only thing you can do to make it happen is for you to make a move...
Ask h... (read in full...)
My friends played a practical joke which really hurt me!
Q. okay. my best friend and her boyfriend played a joke on me and all my friends. my best friend comes to me and say he broke up with her. she acted so real. i was close to tears because i care about her so much. after a day he tells me it was a joke. ...
A. 14 June 2011: I'm sorry but I don't really get why this hurt you so much?
Even if they really did break up, it's not like you're the one losing the bf, I don't really understand...... (read in full...)
I want to regain his trust. But do you even think that's possible?
Q. Okay so, I dated this guy named Joe from January to early March, our relationship was perfect until he started accusing me of doing things. He thought I told my best friend a secret about him. He also started saying I was lying about every little ...
A. 12 June 2011: Why on earth would you want to get back with this guy?
He has told you that he is going to murder your friends....you'd honestly feel safe with this guy?
Getting back together with him would be a terrible decision...you need to cut contact with... (read in full...)
He keeps cancelling on me and makes excuses every time. What do I do?
Q. This guy has let me down three times, should i forget about him ?. I met him a couple of weeks ago. The first time he said he would meet me, he ended up saying that he couldn't go out because he didn't have much money. The second time , he said he ...
A. 12 June 2011: Flip it on its head and ask him to arrange a time when he can see you so you don't keep getting let down.
And if that doesn't make things any better then it seems like this guy is a bit of a timewaster.... (read in full...)
I'm scared to go on holiday now because of all the bad things I read can happen
Q. So i am really VERY nervous and worried to go on holiday now! Because i read reviews that people break into your rooms, they caught swine flu and conjunctivitis, there's mold on the walls, the ceiling is fall apart. Sick stains on the mattress and ...
A. 12 June 2011: I went on holiday with about 7 close mates last year in a hotel that had mixed reviews.....lets just say it was the best 10 days of my life.
If you have a safe then your valuables can't be stolen.....sounds like you need to loosen up, have fun... (read in full...)
Why would a guy say he liked me shoes?
Q. What does it mean when a guy says he likes your shoes? Can a man really like a pair of cork wedges, really?! ...
A. 12 June 2011: Probably an ice breaker, it's better to compliment a girl for something other than her looks I.E 'I like your necklace' or 'Those shoes are great' lol
I'd say it's an opener.....did her speak to you after that? or was that the only thing that he ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before asking another girl out?
Q. I broke up with my gf on Friday and I just wanted some peoples opinion on how long should I wait before i ask another girl out. I wasn't going to do it straight away but some others opinions please?...
A. 12 June 2011: I'd give it as long as you feel it takes for you to be ready for another relationship.
Only you know the answer to this one, do what is right for you, it doesn't matter what other people think!
Good luck... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a nightmare. Is this normal?
Q. I Have been going out with my GF for a few years She is Controlling Possessive Paranoid Moody Childish Doesnt let me see my friends Checks my phone Checks my emails Checks my facebook The reason she does all this is because I have...
A. 9 June 2011: Dude, you're basically giving up your social life for her, if you really love her, tell her that she HAS to change or you're outta there.... (read in full...)
My ex has shown that he really doesn't care but I want him back!
Q. Hello! I'm in an emotional wreck right now. Well i broke up with my bf last week and now im hurt so bad. I had good reasons to let him go, but im just so in love with him that no matter what he do, i'll take him back/be with him. We've been together ...
A. 9 June 2011: I'm not gonna sugarcoat this so it may be a little harsh:
You're being a doormat, letting him walk all over you, who can blame him for not respecting you? You're letting him get away with not having to.
Do yourself a favour and delete this guy ... (read in full...)
How do I make him stop bugging me when he hasn't formally asked me out?
Q. How can I give this guy the slip without feeling like a rude b****?? He keeps texting me, buying me coffee at work (we work together), trying to make physical contact at work, asking if we can meet up outside work etc BUT he has never actually p...
A. 9 June 2011: You tell him that you're flattered by his kindness, but not looking to develop any kind of relationship with him.... (read in full...)
Why do I feel as though I have to force myself into liking someone? I feel like I get bored very quickly!
Q. hi guys im 18 and started my first year of college after a year out of education in september. i met a girl but she had a bouyfriend and i really liked her she was all i could think about but then those feelings went away after about 3/4 months...
A. 9 June 2011: You've obviously just not met anyone that is enough to hold your attention I.e you haven't met 'the one'. These sound like little crushes that you're having and don't really have any substance.
The girl you dated obviously wasn't interest... (read in full...)
I want to leave my job, but I'm worried that because my co-worker is pregnant she will be off sick and the company wont have anyone to cover for us....
Q. I have been an admin assistant at a job for four years. It is basically me and my coworker doing alot of tedious things. I have been trying to leave for awhile now. My coworker recently told me she is pregnant. It was sort of the final push for m...
A. 9 June 2011: A career should be what makes you happy, feck the company! I also work in admin so can vouche for how bored you feel, I've thought about leaving my own job too...I think it would be sensible to ensure you have another job lined up before quitting ... (read in full...)
I want to prove to him that I do want a threesome with another girl, I just don't know how to find the girl!
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. We're freaky and adventurous, him so more than I, and we got on the topic of threesomes. I'm very shy and still learning things about me. I don't mind being with a woman but men are my main ...
A. 9 June 2011: You sound very open minded and adventurous and should appreciate that he's found someone like you. With him getting annoyed at basically not being able to have sex with someone else, you've got every right to tell him to 'feck off' basically.
... (read in full...)
He breaks up with me every summer, and this year is no different! How do I get him back?
Q. my partner have been together 3 years on and off. we seem to have a routine of us getting together September/ October time and him finishing with me in June (this is now the third summmer- he always finishes it). at first we fall in love all over ...
A. 9 June 2011: So basically you're putting your life on hold for a man that could care less about you?
If this man loved you, he wouldn't of broke up with you once, he is treating you like a doormat and you're allowing him to.
Break it off with him if he t... (read in full...)
After three years it's a lot more than a 'crush' but she doesn't feel the same way
Q. Hi, im a 19 y.o guy. I met this girl about 3 years ago in college, we were best friends in college and i slowly but surely began to fall deeply in love with her. Lemme clarify one thing, she is amazing. She is possibly the hottest girl ive ever met, ...
A. 9 June 2011: Based51 has hit the nail on the head...this girl will LOVE the attention that you're giving her, I've personally been in this situation and have friends who have too and I'm convinced that she was addicted to the attention as I used to compliment ... (read in full...)
Tired of getting snubbed by those around me. What can I do?
Q. I made a best friend at university. But now it's like he's been stolen from me and looks at me differently. I was best friends with him for months, but a while back he started hanging around with someone else in my halls and now it's all about t...
A. 9 June 2011: Sorry to hear that mate, uni can be an intimidating place as it is as you've got to make new mates from the off.
If this guy is willing to sack you off and start being off with you then he's obviously not the type of guy you want to be a mate wit... (read in full...)
My mind is telling me to be with him but my heart is saying no...
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend recently due to the fact that he's disrespectful, mistreats me, cheated 4 times while we were together, when we're having problems he doesn't want to talk about it, he either ignores me or get mad and tell me to ...
A. 8 June 2011: Absolutely do not get back with this guy, he obviously doesn't give a crap about you, cheating on you multiple times, blowing you off for his friends and generally disrespecting you.
You're a young girl, go out, have fun and enjoy yourself... (read in full...)
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