I'm turned on but can't orgasm - what can I do?
Q. I'll try to keep this short. Basically over a month ago me and my girlfriend decided to have sex whilst I was staying over on the weekend but unfortunately we had to stop because she was feeling sore down there after only a few minutes. Ever since ...
A. 27 November 2015: Being relaxed and comfortable during sex is quite important. If you are worried about hurting your partner that would clearly be a distraction. It would be a good idea to find out why your girlfriend is sore. It could just be something simple ... (read in full...)
Can I safely assume that I don't have a young man that is attracted to me and is just being friendly/flirty with me and enjoy it as it is?
Q. I am a 40 year old and normally find when a man winks at you its either friendly or they are interested in you. However a younger man (I think he is about 25) joined our workplace a year ago and on his first day of being introduced to me winked at ...
A. 26 November 2015: Would you act differently if you thought he really was attracted to you? And why shouldn't he be?
I think you should behave as you are now, and if anything develops you can make your mind up about how deep you want to get involved. Stay frie... (read in full...)
Friend says I make him uncomfortable after he buys me a present
Q. Hey Cupids, I've had a situation recently with one of my now former friends that you might be able to help me with. Last year I got to know a guy called Oscar, for whatever reason when I first met him I didn't think we would get on. I was fri...
A. 26 November 2015: This sounds like a misunderstanding that has spiralled out of bounds. The only way to get to the bottom of this is to find out from Oscar himself what is eating him. Anything else is just guess work.... (read in full...)
I do want you, I don't want you - is it my fault?
Q. I feel at cross roads in my relationship. I have been seeing and older woman for two years. We had a rocky start due to her constant lies over her spending time with her ex which resulted in lack of trust on my behalf still even now. I have always ...
A. 26 November 2015: I can understand your disappointment. One always hopes to get out of a relationship what one puts in. The trouble is your partner wants something different to you, and I have to tell you that probably won't change.
When you have invested two year... (read in full...)
I'm still attracted to men. While she is the only woman I've ever been attracted to. Am I Bi?
Q. I've never liked women except for one brief crush on my classmate during my sophomore year of high school. I am now in my junior year of college and I think I might be in love with my literature professor. She's 45. I'm 24. I'm always thin...
A. 24 November 2015: It's possible that you are. Would that be a problem? It might be a stage you are passing through. I have known people think they are of one sexual persuasion only to find they were just exploring new territory. Nothing wrong with that if no-one gets ... (read in full...)
Am I his first real Gf? Or is it that he lacks consideration and empathy? Or does he lack commitment to our relationship?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 5 month. we dont get to see each other so much due to work and other commitments. im wondering if im expecting too much , this is the reason why . we message everyday even if its just to say hi and the odd day we dont ...
A. 19 November 2015: It doesn't sound as if you are the most important thing in his life. I would relegate this relationship to just good friends. You can then cast your net again for someone who wants you to the exclusion of everyone else.
Why put up with a tepid roma... (read in full...)
She keeps asking to borrow money. Now I just want to distance myself from her. What can you suggest?
Q. I'm not sure how to get out of this situation and need some advice please. About 3 -4 months ago a work colleague asked me if she could borrow £20 as another colleague in the office had a birthday and had invited us all out to dinner but my co...
A. 19 November 2015: Just say no. Even if she still owes you, just cut your losses. The fact that you bluntly refuse to lend her more will probably provide the separation between the two of you.
I wouldn't worry about possible repercussions. Nothing has been thre... (read in full...)
I need space, without the drama. How do I communicare this to him?
Q. Hello my name is Jodie I'm 22 and from Australia.I'm posting this question today because I am feeling frustrated with my relationship. My partner is 25 and one big kid. The problem lies in the way we argue about things we do not see eye to eye and h...
A. 18 November 2015: What you are already doing is probably the right strategy. Go and do your own thing when you need to.
Like all 'whiny babies' he is going to try and manipulate you to get his own way. He won't hear your point of view because he doesn't want to. Life... (read in full...)
How can I convince him to not break up with me, without me becoming a doormat?
Q. Today I had a serious talk with my boyfriend of two years. He wants to break up. I don't. He's not sure himself. I want to try to make this work, win him over. The situation is a little bit weird. Our relationship was nothing short of a fairy...
A. 18 November 2015: In this situation you have to do the opposite of what you think. You can't make up his mind for him. All you can do is take away what you have been giving him: your love; your support; your friendship; possibly household tasks you do for him. In ... (read in full...)
What can I do? Feeling unhappy with my body after pregnancies.
Q. I have a wonderful husband and 2 wonderful children. I had back to back pregnancies. I've always been a positive happy person but since the birth of my second son, I've been feeling pretty depressed about my body. I got very very bad stret...
A. 18 November 2015: Sorry to hear you got a bad scar after your Caesarean. That shouldn't be necessarily so. I'm sure you can get this tidied up. I think the hospital or clinic you attended ought to take this on freely, or at least refer you to someone who can. They ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is cheating with a co-worker and I no longer believe anything he says
Q. Last December I was in the car with my husband and the girl from his works office rang. They were talking for a bit then I heard what sounded like, dont forget to get me something nice for Christmas. My husband said she didn't say that and said, ...
A. 18 November 2015: Men can be very hurtful, and sometimes it's just stupidity or forgetfulness. We aren't tuned in to the same things as women are. We sometimes can learn it. Some men remain blithely ignorant of their partners deeper feelings.
However your fears go d... (read in full...)
She wasn't clear about the date but took my number?
Q. Hi there, today a little problem came to me, about reading women´s behaviour or what they mean. Short story: I met her at work and we had a couple of small, funny conversations occasionally.... today, I grabbed all my confidence and asked h...
A. 17 November 2015: It sounds like she is thinking of leaving her current boyfriend but isn't sure about it yet.... (read in full...)
Should I lose weight to attract women?
Q. Hello. I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl. I'm pretty overweight and I know this a contributor. I haven't asked out many girls before because I feel they'll just say no. A guy who's in shape and muscled up is of course ...
A. 16 November 2015: You should lose weight because you value yourself. If you don't value yourself no-one else will. As Honeypie says there are many added benefits in energy, mood and probably longevity.
Try exercising in a way which won't destroy your joints. Runn... (read in full...)
She wants him back and he still visits his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years is still friends with his ex which he periodically goes and sees. I have never had a problem with this... until he asked her if he could bring me over with him. She said no and that HE was always welcome but not me. Ive do...
A. 16 November 2015: No, I don't think you are wrong. It has to be fair doesn't it. It sounds like he is being controlled, or wanting his cake and eat it.
The big question is, if you did ask him to choose, would it be you? Are you prepared to gamble in a me-or-her situ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am talking to a robot!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles, I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 years. The problem is talking with him is like talking to a robot. Only I initiate conversation, and when I try to ask him questions it's like pulling teeth to get a response. ...
A. 16 November 2015: The key to this is where you mention anti-depressants. They will cause the effects you are seeing in your boyfriend. You need to visit the prescribing doctor with your boyfriend and discuss this. It may be that the dosage needs adjusting, ... (read in full...)
I think my English teacher is attracted to me.
Q. I think my English teacher is attracted to me. I am a 19 year old college student and he is a man in his late twenties. My boyfriend is in his class with me. I feel like this teacher either doesn't like me being with my boyfriend because a couple in ...
A. 16 November 2015: Honeypie nailed it. In class you are separate, you have a BF and he a job to do.
Apart from what she says I have a sneaking feeling you enjoy that fact, true or not, that your tutor might fancy you. You appear to be making it all add up to that... (read in full...)
My brother is making life so difficult for me, due to his dislike of my fiance. How can I cope with the hatred I feel towards my brother?.
Q. I hate my brother. Im 25 and hes 22. We used to have good relationship and since last year i think we hate each other or at least i hate him. Last year so many things happen. He lied to my parent about his girlfriend background and even against...
A. 15 November 2015: Hate is a strong word and I think you need to modify that immediately. Fall outs in families are bad and can rumble on for years. This needs to come to an end now.
You have to accept you part in this. You got involved when you should have kept your... (read in full...)
How can I make myself seem unavailable when she never ask when we can hangout if she never ask?
Q. Hey guys and gals, i have a question and more advice the better. They say in a dating world or relationship, don't be available all the time, this will make them want you. No one wants a man that's always there, it's not valuable. With that bein...
A. 15 November 2015: It may be true that couples are either moving together or apart, and it looks like the latter in your case. I would ask her to make her mind up because you have a life to live and you don't want to be dangling while she sorts herself out.
If ther... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but can't forget my crush
Q. I crushed him since high school. He didn't seem like me back. But I can't forget him until now. We have been together since 1 year. After that we separate, haven't meet for nearly 10 years. After 10 years later, we contact back from Facebook. We ...
A. 15 November 2015: You can only ever have half the world. If you were to leave your boyfriend for your crush would he do the same? Or would he like to keep his girlfriend and have you as the other woman?
You are on the edge of some big decisions which only the two ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am a second choice, the back up plan. Do I stay? or go?
Q. Hello, thank you for reading this and hopefully you can give me dome advice. I think I am too close to see the truth anymore. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 5 years now. We had a very rocky start partly because of our 15 year age difference (...
A. 15 November 2015: Religion is a touchy subject, particularly with all the fundamentalists in all sectors of faith.
I am deeply suspicious of anyone who dramatically alters his life for religious reasons.
I think the question I would put to him is: "Are you prepared... (read in full...)
I think I've scared him off
Q. Hi thanks for reading this. I met this guy on pof and I really like him we have met twice. And we text and call all the time but for the past couple of days we don't. So I did it I came out and say to him I really like u but we don't talk that muc...
A. 15 November 2015: I think you have done all you can reasonably do. The ball is firmly in his court now. It maybe that he is on holiday or something like that. However don't wait too long for a reply. If he is getting your messages it doesn't sound hopeful to me. ... (read in full...)
How can I make myself seem unavailable when she never ask when we can hangout if she never ask?
Q. Hey guys and gals, i have a question and more advice the better. They say in a dating world or relationship, don't be available all the time, this will make them want you. No one wants a man that's always there, it's not valuable. With that bein...
A. 15 November 2015: Oh well, don't be down hearted yet. Sometimes girls like to put the brake on a bit if they think things are moving too fast. Sometimes people just need a bit of space.
Adjust your pace accordingly.
I haven't an impression of how long you have bee... (read in full...)
Impulsive breakup. Will he come back?
Q. My boyfriend of nearly two years just broke up with me. He said he lost himself in this relationship and needed to be alone. When I asked how long he had been wanting to do this he said, "I never wanted to do this. I have just been feeling like I ...
A. 14 November 2015: He has told you he doesn't want to be with you in the future and that he wasn't in love with you. That seems clear enough to me.
Give him up up. Take time for yourself. Find someone who will treasure you.... (read in full...)
Should I break away from my parents and my comfort zone to move in with nice people?
Q. Hi all, thanks for reading, sorry if this turns into a long post! I just turned 25 and im in my first year of uni. It turns out its not what i expected and its really awful so im looking to change degrees but thats a different matter. Right no...
A. 14 November 2015: If you move into a flat it doesn't mean you will never see your parents again. Uni is more about learning who you are than acquiring facts. It's growing up time.
I would go for the flat and make time to see your folks on a regular basis.
To be... (read in full...)
How can I make myself seem unavailable when she never ask when we can hangout if she never ask?
Q. Hey guys and gals, i have a question and more advice the better. They say in a dating world or relationship, don't be available all the time, this will make them want you. No one wants a man that's always there, it's not valuable. With that bein...
A. 14 November 2015: Whoever said: 'Don't be available all the time, this will make them want you,' is an idiot.
She is waiting to be asked out, and agreeing to go when you ask. What's wrong with you?
Do what you feel is right. Don't play games. You will lose her. And... (read in full...)
Boyfriend, porn and being rejected because I don't look like the women he likes??
Q. Hello, I've been with my bf for 5 years, and he has a problem with porn. Ever since the beginning of our relationship I was somewhat aware of him using it, nbd really. I didn't know it was so often (and still don't know truthfully because I'm not ...
A. 14 November 2015: It is always worth remembering that sex is only a part of the equation. A relationship relies less and less on it as years go by. Don't get me wrong. Couples in later life may still enjoy it, but it isn't the sex that has kept them together over the ... (read in full...)
Does he want a relationship or hook up?
Q. I'm always really nervous with new guys because i don't wanna be used as a hook up. Anyway, I started seeing someone a few times now for coffees, dinner/drinks etc. twice now we've ended up at my place and he's stayed four hours or more each time ...
A. 13 November 2015: If it's 'Nice', then go with the flow. Play your cards one at a time. Don't go all in at the start. Take a good look at what's on offer and what's being asked. ... (read in full...)
Can I retrain my brain to stop obsessing about his past?
Q. Hi everyone. I am engaged to be married next year and I love my husband to be dearly and I am pregnant with his child. When we were together about three years I got really obsessed about his past, quizzing him on his past affairs and generall...
A. 12 November 2015: You say: "I have no idea why I am so fixated with this." Well, only you know. Sometimes it's better not to ask. I suppose you realise that now.
If oral is something not currently in your sexual repertoire could you consider introducing it? It migh... (read in full...)
Is he blowing me off or just busy?
Q. Hi I have met a guy on an online dating site and really like him. So need advice because haven't dated in a while. He works night so I understand we can't talk all the time with me on days but for the first few days we would talk for hours on pho...
A. 12 November 2015: He works nights - you work days - your love life exists on the internet. It doesn't sound like a recipe for success to me. Can't you find someone in the vicinity, in your time zone and with the same sexual preferences?
Really, how do you see this... (read in full...)
Boyfriend, porn and being rejected because I don't look like the women he likes??
Q. Hello, I've been with my bf for 5 years, and he has a problem with porn. Ever since the beginning of our relationship I was somewhat aware of him using it, nbd really. I didn't know it was so often (and still don't know truthfully because I'm not ...
A. 11 November 2015: I understand that people can become addicted to watching porn' just like gambling or alcohol. They need professional help. You can't fix it on your own, and probably neither can he.
The first thing he needs to do is recognise that he has a prob... (read in full...)
Is this friend trying to phase me out of her life?
Q. I have a lovely dog, who lacks confidence with other dogs but he has a best friend, who he meets regularly to play with. This dog's owner has become a friend over time. She's from a different walk of life from me. My husband and I love our life as ...
A. 11 November 2015: Essentially it seems that the woman's relationship with you was different to what you imagined it to be. It's disappointing for you, but you know the score now.
She's not like you. That's not her fault. I'm sorry your friendship took a dent. Perh... (read in full...)
27 and no boyfriend, what do I need to change about myself?
Q. Hi, I am 27 years old and have never had a long term boyfriend. In the past and until recently, I have been on many dates, dated guys for a few months etc but have never been anything to them. I have never been asked out or been called someone's...
A. 11 November 2015: There is a saying: 'Just find someone who wants to love you, and let them.'
So part one, finding the right guy, is top of the list. You may have to reject quite a few before you find someone you want to be with, and who wants to be with you.
Part ... (read in full...)
He didn't talk to me for 2 weeks, now he starts again?
Q. There is a guy at my university he used to stare at me alot and he made eye contat for so long, also he would flirt with me and smile at me alot. Then he suddenly stopped talking to me for almost 2 weeks or so. The past 2 days, he started to appro...
A. 11 November 2015: When something changes people often think it is their fault. When the young man stopped flirting for two weeks it was probably something in his life that was distracting him. Who knows? It could have been anything - bereavement, other bad news, ... (read in full...)
Would a dating coach help? Or shall I just stay celibate?
Q. Hello. I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl. While I would say being a geek, overweight, and not being particularly handsome hinders any success, I will say most of it comes from having approach anxiety. I can talk to...
A. 10 November 2015: Perhaps you could lose some weight and then you will feel better about yourself. I hear that it isn't that easy but I'm sure there must be something you can do.
The women who put you down don't sound very kind. I would give that circle a wide bert... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to enjoy this?
Q. Im hoping you can help me answer some questions relating to sexuality. So the other day my wife was performing oral sex on me, and when she was in the act; she licked her finger and started playing around with my anus while performing oral ...
A. 10 November 2015: New tricks got you goin' eh? Don't worry it doesn't mean you are a homosexual necessarily. Your wife is encouraging you to explore your sexuality.
See if there is anything you can do for her.... (read in full...)
I want to break out of this rut and seek a better life and I have no idea how to do it!
Q. Husband is a sales man. Goes out at least once or twice a week at 630am gets back well after 6pm. Other days it could be 8am or 830am he goes out gets back around 515pm. i wonder how he does it going out at 630am like he will be tomorrow, said he ...
A. 10 November 2015: It sounds like you are depressed, and this is certainly the time of year when many feel this way. Go and see your GP, get some CBT counselling and start working on filling your life with things you want to do.
Buy a notebook and every day write down... (read in full...)
I'm sick of the "let's try" excuse because nothing changes!
Q. currently my relationship seems to be at a standstill. i have been with my boyfriend for over two years now. we live together along with other flat mates that are his friends. also i am 24 and he is 30. we met in work and worked similar shift...
A. 9 November 2015: It's time to use the escape tunnel. You aren't appreciated and I only see it getting worse. You have tried to talk about it but to no avail.
You don't have to clean his home or make his bed. You should only do it out of love and your gift just isn'... (read in full...)
I have trust issues and I believe my husband doesn't tell me things but now a co-worker is coming between us!
Q. I should start by laying out some of the facts- Fact one: My husband and I have been together for ten years. Fact two: I believe without hesitation that he loves me. Fact three: I have some pretty deep rooted trust issues. I have done so...
A. 9 November 2015: I'm inclined to believe the co-worker. It doesn't come across as double talk to me.
I think the little green worm of jealousy has burrowed into your head. You say your business leads you into contact with many women so obviously there will be some... (read in full...)
We had a misunderstanding, I ignored her and now have I lost her?
Q. I've been with 'this girl' for like 4-5 months now and all was well 'till we had misunderstandings. I decided to ignore her as a risk to increase her interest levels; for that she got hurt (my sistake - I know)... She has blocked my number, I ...
A. 9 November 2015: Two days is nothing. My mother would sulk to get back at my father for three days, and they were in the same house.
You don't explain what the misunderstanding was, but perhaps it is time to call round and talk about it?
"The best part of break... (read in full...)
I told my crush how I felt about her and she replied 'so cute'
Q. I sent my crush a long paragraph saying that I liked her and stuff and all she responded was "So Cute" with a bunch of Heart of emojis... what does this mean??? ...
A. 9 November 2015: It does sound like she needs more convincing, but the way to do it is not by pouring your heart out. Try humour instead.
Be light, be easy and be confident. You may just find, if she isn't already interested in someone else, that she is prep... (read in full...)
My best friend is beginning to annoy me
Q. Hello Thank you for taking time to read this, This question is a about a friendship nor a relationship but it's very important so I decided to ask. So let me cut to the chase and tell you my problem. I have a friend who's been my best fri...
A. 9 November 2015: OK - so the person who was your best friend while you were in junior school now is no longer you best friend. Things change. Change is the only certainty in life. It's all right. Throughout your time people will come into your life and others will ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is cheating with a co-worker and I no longer believe anything he says
Q. Last December I was in the car with my husband and the girl from his works office rang. They were talking for a bit then I heard what sounded like, dont forget to get me something nice for Christmas. My husband said she didn't say that and said, ...
A. 5 November 2015: I guess you are asking how you can find out for sure. Maybe a private detective could help. I know that sound a bit extreme, but you don't say if you know anyone at the office you could pump for information.
Do you have a joint bank account? A lot ... (read in full...)
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