Deal breaker? Should I end my relationship with my fiance?
Q. I'm really heart broken and disappointed. I am in a LDR realtionship for 3 years and my fiancé is going to come where I live and get marry this summer. It has been an extremely difficult pat to get here. We both are divorced his wife moved to an...
A. 1 April 2016: No - I think your instinct is right. I would give yourself far longer than three months to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. THE REST OF YOUR LIFE - It sounds scary doesn't it.... (read in full...)
Deal breaker? Should I end my relationship with my fiance?
Q. I'm really heart broken and disappointed. I am in a LDR realtionship for 3 years and my fiancé is going to come where I live and get marry this summer. It has been an extremely difficult pat to get here. We both are divorced his wife moved to an...
A. 31 March 2016: You don't have to marry him this summer - that is unless he needs to marry to gain citizenship. If that is the case then I would say, 'On your bike chum'.
If you feel unsure then take more time. Don't feel pressured to commit to a contract ie. marr... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend wants me to shave EVERYWHERE!
Q. helo. My new boyfriend is 8 years older than me, we met on a dating site (i didn't mean to join the site i was only there for fun so we met). He is muscular, very smart, very clean, handy, hygienic but what i find odd is he doesn't like hair. He ...
A. 29 March 2016: Styles change and from what I hear I think they are moving away from full Brazilian. To my mind it is like infantalising a woman to remove all hair. Grown up women have hair. Men are usually grateful when you have a bit of a tidy up down there. So ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get tested for cold sores when a sore isn't present?
Q. AKA HSV-1. I don't have any symptoms now, but in the past I had a few things that I thought could be a cold sore but I was never 100% sure that it was. Like I had a sore or pimple on the edge of my lip before; never knew what it really was I think I ...
A. 29 March 2016: I think you would be better asking a doctor or qualified health practitioner. All the best.... (read in full...)
How do I pursue friends and a relationship with an intimidating face?
Q. Hi, I have too much problems to list out here today, but my main concern is a lack of a relationship and friends. It seems I have intimidating face based on how people respond to me and these days i have a hard time smiling so it makes it even...
A. 27 March 2016: You sound chronically depressed and we aren't really able to help you with that on DC. You need to have time with a mental health professional. These days there is not the stigma there once was in admitting to being depressed. Find someone who can ... (read in full...)
I know we can't be together so how do I get over him?
Q. I really need advice. Me and my ex boyfriend met 2 years ago in the summer of 2011 we formed a relationship which lasted around 2 months. We ended things because he got a job in a different country and we both mutually because we felt that we could ...
A. 27 March 2016: The easiest way is to cut all contact. Get rid of all mementoes. Turn outwards, keep busy, see friends, pursue hobbies and new interests. The past is the past Don't go there. As they say, to move to the next chapter you need to turn the page.... (read in full...)
We are always fighting and he says I push him away!
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 6years now we met @school l love him so much and I don't want to lose him but the problem we always fight,he tells me am pushing him away and I don't know what to do...l Dnt want to lose him he means a lot to ...
A. 27 March 2016: You need to explain a bit more about what you are arguing about, how the arguments start and why you feel the need to argue. It takes two to have an argument.... (read in full...)
Does he really want a relationship, eventually? Or not?
Q. I hope someone can help I fell out badly with someone I became close to Wasn't a relationship but was on its way there but then because of how it ended we ended up not talking for 2 years Then he gets in touch and messages sporadically but not...
A. 27 March 2016: I think he just wants to mend fences. You didn't talk for two years. Now he is saying that he feels OK about the past and is comfortable being friendly. I don't read this as an invitation to get back together. It is just a wave hello from an old ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to be more assertive?
Q. I want to be more assertive - to be able to express my needs, ask for and state things clearly without feeling guilty or being whiny. Please give me suggestions for how to learn and especially how to practice/build up to this so it becomes a ...
A. 26 March 2016: Practice saying 'No'. So many people who feel downtrodden are in that position because they haven't mastered the word. They get dragged along to events they would rather miss. They get pared with people they don't like and they can't refuse when ... (read in full...)
My exes are trying to get back with me
Q. Can any body tell me what's going on ,in th,making ple past three weeks,four ex girlfriends, have been wanting to see me,one l am seeing again, we were together four years ago, two from two years ago, or so, an now one from thirty five years ago, ...
A. 26 March 2016: Someone once told me it is always a mistake to go back. Generally I have found this to be true. Do you really want to cover old ground again? Think about what you want - not what they want. Steer your own ship.... (read in full...)
We are curious about sex but not sure where or who to go to for advice
Q. The most me and my boyfriend have done is kiss, cuddle and some masturbation. We are both fine with that but that is because we really cannot aks anybody. It is not like we can ask our dads how we have sex. We have tried having sex but i guess we ...
A. 19 March 2016: Many people are choosing non-penetrative sex these days as their preferred option. It reduces the risk of infection among other things. I would stick with your current practice for now if I were you. There is no need to rush into anything which ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfriend. Its ruining our relationship
Q. Hi there, I have been in a relationship with a man for about 2 years now however I find trusting him extremely difficult. Very early on in the relationship I found out that he's way of life is very different to mine. His lifestyle is one where he ...
A. 19 March 2016: Of course this is very unsatisfactory for you - rightly so. You want one thing and he another. Something must change. If he isn't prepared to alter his lifestyle for you then you should think about going your separate ways.
If he can't stop eyei... (read in full...)
Is it worth the try or should I call it quits?
Q. There is this guy we met on facebook and started texting a lot... He keeps making plans but then he cancels some times he is cocky but then other times he is nice. Yesterday I told him to stop texting me and he said ok. but I missed him so much I ...
A. 18 March 2016: You are a chump. It's a game to him and you are the mouse to his cat. The fact that he keeps making plans and cancelling must tell you he has other things to do. You are at the bottom of the list of priorities. Don't be needy. Things will happen ... (read in full...)
How do I stop? I'm constantly craving male attention and end up obsessing over those who give me this attention
Q. I have a recurrent issue that seems to be getting out of hand and worse. It seems that every time a man flirts with me or shows interest, I start to revel in this attention and I start liking them. For instance, a guy has recently joi...
A. 15 March 2016: Are you asking this on your own behalf or for someone you know? It sounds like the latter to me.... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the disruption of my BF's mate? The mate visits us almost every evening?
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years we have a son together. We are happy apart from the fact we get no time together because of his mate. My boyfriend finishes work. I have tea ready, then halfway through eating it his mate turns u...
A. 15 March 2016: When he calls around meet him at the door and tell him, Not tonight'. He can't just walk into your home when he likes. Your boyfriend is allowing this to happen so he is not blameless either.
Tell them both in no uncertain manner that enough is e... (read in full...)
Ex moved on with someone else quickly. Does this mean he was over me before we even broke up?
Q. Hello maybe someone can help me out, thank you in advance. My ex and I broke up back in late January and within almost a month he got into a new relationship. We were together 3 1/2 years so him moving on in just a month kind of hurt me because ...
A. 15 March 2016: Well, the main thing is that you and he aren't together anymore so let it go. The past is the past and is a country you shouldn't visit too often.
You may of course wonder about your mutual friend and whether she was deceitful. However as she is n... (read in full...)
The guy I like is giving mixed signals. Should I stop initiating contact all together? Am I being needy? Is this a lost cause?
Q. We have been friends for an year. At first he was very flirty and would say how I was his type and he wanted a collage of my pictures on his birthday etc. I was 100% he was into me. Soon I developed feelings and confessed to him. He turned me down ...
A. 15 March 2016: He is not that into you. Sorry, but if he were he would be running through barbed wire and vaulting high walls to be in your company. He can be a friend, but he doesn't care enough to be your partner.... (read in full...)
Why do some people like my boyfriend feel the need to embellish the truth or just outright lie?
Q. Have been with my boyfriend six years, all is very good except one thing, his bad habit of telling silly lies. He knows how much I detest lying yet still keeps doing it, he doesn't lie about anything important so I don't get it, what is the point! I ...
A. 14 March 2016: And why are you asking this question? You could ask him but of course you might not get a truthful answer. However you probably realise that if you can understand some psychological motive in him, it will give you leverage and a bit extra control.
I... (read in full...)
I did something stupid and now I wonder "what if"
Q. Hi so I'm 16 and part of me has wanted to have sex for the past year and a half maybe, but then the other part has reasoned with that part and is kind of scared. Yes I want to have sex (I'm still a virgin) but then when I hear about sex assault and ...
A. 13 March 2016: I think you can relax a little. Not all men are rapists or have uncontrollable sexual drive. I believe most men will respect you. Having said that don't put yourself in compromising situations. Bad things can happen to anyone. You can help avoid ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's obsession with his friend's girlfriend is creepy
Q. My on/off bf of two years has known this girl for a year because she is on and off with his best friend. Ever since he met her, he’s hidden the fact that he’s socialised with her, he’s liked all of her profile pictures on facebook, all of her ...
A. 11 March 2016: Step away. This could be something - it could be nothing. However at the end of it I don't see how any of it is good for you. I would move him down to just 'friend' and add some distance before any crap hits the proverbial fan.... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong because I don't want my jobless boyfriend moving in with me and depending on me to get him a job?
Q. My LDR BF said he wants to move in with me and asked me to find him a job at the company where I work. He has been working as a part time delivery boy for a local restaurant for about a year after I've known him. Then he hurt his toe and said he ...
A. 10 March 2016: It sounds like he has a great life: "Mainly sleeps, eats, shops for clothes, and drinks with his buddies." No wonder he isn't in a hurray to get back to work.
What you must NOT do is have him in your work place or living at your home until he is s... (read in full...)
He thinks I should chill out. How can I get him to realize that what he did has made me feel so bad?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years and we always had such an amazing sex life, he gave me a lot of confidence and I'm really sad that he is knocking it all back out of me. For the majority of our relationship he has loved going down...
A. 10 March 2016: The only way you can achieve this is by getting him to talk honestly about what is going on. Don't let him be evasive. Pick your moment and try to get an honest answer. Then you both can fix things.
My only thought is if things have become repe... (read in full...)
Is this guy into me? Flirting when a simple email would do?
Q. So this guy, seem to get my attention and make small conversation with me any given opportunity he can. Example, at the end of a lecture he pull me to the side to ask a tiny question and make conversation. He has done this on several occasions, and ...
A. 4 March 2016: If he is, then what about you? Do you want to see him? If so drop a few hints. Make it easier for him. You can do this without appearing a shameless hussy.
People often ask if they are reading the signs correctly but they rarely say what they woul... (read in full...)
My sister has sucked all the blood out of me and I don't know what to do!
Q. Dear all, I know this is not a love related question so maybe not relevant to most readers but I have serious family issues! My sister is sucking the blood out of me. All she ever did was ask, ask, ask. When she was a student, she did not want...
A. 4 March 2016: In light of your update my previous statement seems harsh. I think you need to give us a complete picture so we can be more helpful, eg. is she in work, currently under a doctor, on medication, any friends etc?... (read in full...)
Partner is 16 weeks and won't stop smoking!
Q. Hi, my partner is almost 16 wks pregnant with our first child and she just will not stop smoking, or even attempt to cut down even a little. She is averaging around 16-20 cigarettes every single day. She wakes up in the night for a cigarette, she ...
A. 4 March 2016: Have you worked out why she refuses to try to cut down? With some people it's just plain stubbornness ie No-one is going to tell them what to do.
Vapes are popular now or even moving to low tar ciggies is better than nothing. But if she reso... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant and boyfriend needs space. He's leaving me when I need him the most!
Q. Im 8 months pregnant and me and my boyfriend have not been getting on. Most of the time its down to him keep going out every weekend and come back rolling drunk the next day or so later. My hormones are all over the place too and I snap at ...
A. 4 March 2016: I feel deeply sorry for you. Have you family you can lean on? Are you able to stay with parents while you have the baby? You have one child and now are expecting another. While every baby brings love, I think this needs to be the last you have ... (read in full...)
My sister has sucked all the blood out of me and I don't know what to do!
Q. Dear all, I know this is not a love related question so maybe not relevant to most readers but I have serious family issues! My sister is sucking the blood out of me. All she ever did was ask, ask, ask. When she was a student, she did not want...
A. 3 March 2016: Change the locks and put her suitcase on the step. If you want to be kind you can book her in at a B&B for a night so she has somewhere to go.
Write her a nice letter explaining that you are doing this to save your relationship with her. You love... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 3 March 2016: I'm getting bored with this. The solution is in your own hands. If your husband has agreed to move the dog on then do it. If you think there might be trust issues then what about the ones in which he has agreed to get rid of the dog and is then ... (read in full...)
Has he lost interest? Too busy??
Q. Hi... I've speaking to this boy for about a month now and we've only met up twice. The last time we met he text me asking to meet me in the week and I said yes and he said he'd let me know but he didn't. He sent me a snap on Snapchat and I...
A. 3 March 2016: I think you are wasting your time with this one. He is more interested in hanging out with the chaps than taking a little time off to be with you. Cut your losses before you start sounding desperate, and a topic for laughter in the changing rooms.... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 3 March 2016: I think he has already agreed if I read you correctly. All that needs to happen now is that one day, when he gets home, the dog is no longer there because it has a lovely new home which YOU have found and arranged.
There - you tell him you appr... (read in full...)
He lied about his drug use in the past, but then was upset that I needed time to deal with my anger about his lying. Shouldn't we take some time to calm down when we are angry?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, having a little problem in my relationship and I always find the advice here helpful. Recently I found out that my boyfriend used to do drugs. When we were going out, he did not tell me about his drug history. I specifically ...
A. 2 March 2016: What kind of drugs are we talking about here? I imagine they are the illegal ones. However attitudes are changing and it's about time. There are enough lawyers, judges, CEOs and doctors who have had a go at some illicit substances for it not to be ... (read in full...)
How do I make this threesome idea happen?
Q. I want have a threesome with my wife and friend. the game plan is they should not know each other so I want to blind fold them and to convince them for this and then the game goes on.... suggest me how to make this wonderful...!?...
A. 2 March 2016: Haven't you posted about this before? I think I advised you to think very carefully about this fantasy. It won't be the same as in your mind. Your relationships will be changed forever - and so will you.
Are you sure all parties want this?... (read in full...)
I caught some feelings for a guy who I think is playing me and its destroying me. What am I left to do, why do I feel the way I do?
Q. My purpose of this q is to find out WHY I feel what I do, so I can find the reason and put a stop to it. I cannot be in love. So what is it? I am tired of this sorrow and hurt but I don’t know what it IS. I’m hung up on a guy who I had sexual r...
A. 1 March 2016: You have to realise there are two parties involved here and one of them is you. You must take responsibility for yourself. Making your decisions about your life is the most empowering thing you can do.
Even if you just let life happen to you that... (read in full...)
Did my boss proposition me?
Q. I had this wiered convorsation with my boss. Think he might have propositioned me but not sure. I now feel very awkward at work. Him: Do you ever think about doing something you shouldn't do? Me: No never I'm a saint. Do you? Him: All t...
A. 1 March 2016: It seems clear that there is a strong element of sexual innuendo in the subtext. But haven't you asked this question before? I seem to remember a similar one some time back.... (read in full...)
How Can I win her back in one weekend?
Q. How soon do you spend a whole weekend with your ex girlfriend? It's been a week and another week before that we weren't speaking after we argued. She dumped me, we start talking again, taking trips down memory lane, saying the I miss and love yo...
A. 26 February 2016: I believe you need to stay cool. Don't go running after her. Let her come to you if she wants to. She may still be considering her options, and if the argument is still fresh in her mind then it can take time to dissipate. You need to start building ... (read in full...)
How do I contact this married man to tell him I'm pregnant? I want him to help support me!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm the op of this post "He lied to me..he was cheating on his wife with me. Do I tell her?", which I posted a month back. I found out that I'm pregnant few days back and I'm positive he is the father since I didn't have sex with an...
A. 26 February 2016: There was no hatred in my response. There is an element of despair. Let's not prevaricate, you didn't take any precautions. You believed he did that.
You didn't abort for any number of reasons, medical, social, or religious.
I didn't read your pre... (read in full...)
How do I find enjoyment in life?
Q. How can I find enjoyment in life? People say find a hobby, but I don't seem to want to do anything. I feel that feeling passionate about anything at all could help me pass the time but I can't find anything remotely interesting. Every day I just ...
A. 25 February 2016: If there is nothing in life for you then try giving some help to other people in need. Give a few hours to a charity; visit an old people's home and have a chat and a cuppa. Help clean up the neighbourhood.
You will find by giving to other peop... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 25 February 2016: Well now you know where you stand. Say goodbye and good riddance. I hope they will be happy together. Meanwhile you thank your lucky stars you found out sooner rather than later what a numbskull you picked.
Good luck for the future and a dog free... (read in full...)
How do I contact this married man to tell him I'm pregnant? I want him to help support me!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm the op of this post "He lied to me..he was cheating on his wife with me. Do I tell her?", which I posted a month back. I found out that I'm pregnant few days back and I'm positive he is the father since I didn't have sex with an...
A. 25 February 2016: If you have taken the decision on your own to have a baby then you must be responsible. This frankly is a mess. Why didn't you use contraception? Why didn't you insist he used contraception? If the answer is because you wanted a child it is your ... (read in full...)
How long to get over a crush?
Q. hello lovely people, I was just wondering how long does it take to get over a crush? When you see them very often. Seriously I'm pretty obsessed about this guy I know for a little over a year, but funny fact is I used to dislike him because he was ...
A. 24 February 2016: Immerse yourself in work, exercise, and a hobby, or maybe two. Join a group, learn a new skill... In fact anything that stops you centring your attention on the person you want to avoid. Give more time to your friends.... (read in full...)
His comment was so vague! How do I read into it?
Q. I am in my 40s and had noticed this guy that I thought I had recognised from years ago but didn't feel I could go up and ask him. I left my number with the local coffee shop for him and he text me that same day and turned out that he used to live ...
A. 24 February 2016: I would take it on face value. I don't see what you are getting at. Am I being dim? He said he moved for work and a woman. It seems he has got away from the woman one way or another.
Why not have a conversation with him? You might be able to lear... (read in full...)
How can I stop my family from questioning everything my husband and I do?
Q. Hiya Just a little question for you all..I am 35 years old, married, own a beautiful home and have a good job. All which I achieved. When I was a teenager, I had some fun like every other teenager, went travelling etc. I tried university but d...
A. 24 February 2016: Just ignore it. It's really none of their business. If they keep asking you how you can afford it then reply honestly: 'Just hard work and thrift'.
You might also try heavy irony if it amuses you. Tell them it's easy when you run and inte... (read in full...)
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