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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Follow up: Starting a relationship when one is in jail
Q. Okay i Know i just asked a question but i don't think i was clear and it was confusing.. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/starting-a-new-relationship-while-one-is-in.html Here it goes... **************...
A. 21 April 2009: Why has he been locked up if he was the only injured party? What else has he been convicted of, I'm guessing more than just dangerous driving.
I'm sure he is a lovely guy, but if a jury find him guilty of a crime that warrants 3 years in jail, it... (read in full...)
He wants to be FWB
Q. I am a teen girl and this guy I had a crush on wanted to be friends with benefits. We had never really spoken before and I was confused. I said yes at first, but then I changed my mind before we actually did anything. He was nice about it and ...
A. 21 April 2009: I wouldn't worry about him telling anyone of the things you have said to each other, as he is the one that will look like an idiot!
FWB indeed! As a man can I say that FWB doesn't work, girls find it very hard to have meaningless sex and us men, ... (read in full...)
Please help me! Is he gay?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a few years and we're supposed to get married later this year. The problem is I found out that he's been looking at gay porn on the internet. He does watch some straight porn but I seen a lot of gay. I asked him and ...
A. 20 April 2009: For Viagra to work you have to be sexually stimulated, therefore if Viagra is working when he is having sex with you, he finds you sexually stimulating.
Also just because he watches gay porn doesn't make him gay, he also watches straight porn so ... (read in full...)
Paranoid, what should I do?
Q. I have lost a lot of people in my life and got back from the army a few years ago. I met the love of my life a few months later. I will admit a little paranoia and a little insecurity.I am trying to work on myself because I know she won't cheat on ...
A. 20 April 2009: I don't think we can help you here. You really should seek professional help with this kind of thing.... (read in full...)
Sex 5 days after period. Could I be pregnant?
Q. me and my boyfriend had sex 5 days after my period and most of his cum went in me before he pulled out what are my chances of being pregnant...
A. 20 April 2009: I take it you are trying for a baby? Because you were not using condoms or other protection.
Speak to your Doctor and get a test.... (read in full...)
Am I his muse?
Q. I had a talk with my boyfriend and he has told just how he has been doing some thinking lately about everything, and he figure the struggle he goes through he doesn't even have to go through it,he let it happen to him. I told him how much i miss...
A. 20 April 2009: His muse? Wow, how very self-obsessed, sounds like your boy is having a hard time and you are day dreaming about him writing poetry and playing a lute under a tree!
... (read in full...)
I'm very unhappy with my partner just now...
Q. I'm in a relationship 10 years, things have changed an awful lot recently and I'm very unhappy with my partner. I'm afraid to break up with him in case he is 'the one' and I'm throwing it all away. Please don't tell me to try talk to him about it, ...
A. 20 April 2009: What happens if he is not "the ONE" and "the one" is wandering around lost for the past 10 years?
I think if you are unhappy and can't talk to him about it, it is very unlikely that he is the one.... (read in full...)
Broken up with disrespectful boyfriend, don't know where to go from here...
Q. Hi again everyone, this is an update to a situation I brought up on here a few weeks ago. My boyfriend of 2 and 1/2 years and I had gone "on a break" because he is 26 years old but acts like he is 5 (does baby-talk, has hissy fits) and is very ...
A. 20 April 2009: You forget about this idiot and let him find himself a new girl! In the mean time you go out with your mates get a make over, buy some fantastic and sexy new clothes go out and flirt with as many guys as you can, just so you realise you can do so ... (read in full...)
I think he only wants to meet me for sex... but I'm NOT ready!
Q. Hey, I need help asap. A guy I have known for about 6 years now, we are very good friends has asked me to meet him, I am really scared because I think he wants to have sex and I'm not ready, specially not with him, he's told me he just wants to ...
A. 20 April 2009: Take a couple of friends or your big brother with you!... (read in full...)
I have kept pure for my wife, but many girls do not.
Q. Hi readers, I am such a boy that I never touched any girl romantically in my life though I have a desire to have sex from my teenage. Because, I will respect culture still in this fast culture. So, I am expecting such a girl she should be perfect ...
A. 20 April 2009: If you find a girl you love it doesn't matter about her past as long as you both love each other.
I understand that you have stayed a virgin, and many people don't, and ideally you will fall in love and marry a virgin too, but you can not choo... (read in full...)
Mood swings...
Q. Hi, I'm a 14 year old boy turning 15... and lately it's been kinda wierd, I don't know, I think I have mood swings or something, like one minute I could be really happy, two hours later I feely all crappy and depressee or just extremely angry. I...
A. 20 April 2009: To our anonymous poster: a teenagers mood swings and mood swings of an adult are very different all boys go through this stage, and 99% grow out of it.
I'm very sorry to her about your husband but I don't think our OP here is quite at that sta... (read in full...)
Abusive boyfriend!
Q. Here I go again.. me and my abusive boyfriend of 4 years are done. I've given him opportunity's to change from being a cheater more than once and putting his hands on me.. the recent incident was Friday because he got upset for how I was speaking ...
A. 20 April 2009: So you have left him? Sorry I just want you to clear that up as your post isn't that clear.
If you have left him, then that is great! If you haven't why the hell not?
To have children in this situation is just wrong, never go back to him, rep... (read in full...)
I have a huge crush on my best friend's brother!
Q. Hey, I have this huge problem. Let's cut to the chase - I have a huge crush on my best friend's brother. My best friend has an older brother and I've known him for so many years, and I've never ever thought about him in a personal kind of way. He ...
A. 20 April 2009: Talk to your friend and tell her honestly that you REALLY like her brother and see how she reacts, if it's positive then you need to up the flirting with him and drop hints that you'd like him to take you out sometime.... (read in full...)
How do I convince a married woman to sleep with me?
Q. if a marreid woman likes a man and she gives him some sexual signs every now and then does,that mean that she has some sexual fantaseis about him? , and does he has a chance to get laid ?? and what is the way to seduce her ?? if i wanted to??...
A. 19 April 2009: Well thanks for the high rating, but I'd rather you took our advise!
If you have so many women falling at your feet why pick the dishonest married one? Why not a honest single girl? I'm sorry you still sound like a desperate teenager who fancies ... (read in full...)
Do I sit this one out?
Q. Help. I do not know what to do. I am due to go on a day field trip. I am looking forward to it. Trouble is my ex is going to with his new girlfriend. I think I am ok with it and will ignore him but people have warned me it could be awkward, in fact ...
A. 19 April 2009: Yeah just go, it'll be funny watching her make an arse out of herself by being jealous for no reason.... (read in full...)
Mood swings...
Q. Hi, I'm a 14 year old boy turning 15... and lately it's been kinda wierd, I don't know, I think I have mood swings or something, like one minute I could be really happy, two hours later I feely all crappy and depressee or just extremely angry. I...
A. 19 April 2009: Yes it is totally normal, I was a total brat at your age, I would be happy one moment then sad and angry the next, once I even punched a hole in a brick wall.
Give it time it will pass and make sure when your mood is "normal" tell your parents ... (read in full...)
Pimples around my pubic area .. STIs or just acne? I'm a 14 yo virgin
Q. are there other ways than beying sexually active to catch sti's and std's...becuase im a virgin and i didnt think i can have one of those.... but i m 14 and i have like some pimples around my pubic region and they can really hurt some...
A. 19 April 2009: It's probably just acne or shaving rash, but if you have used anything in that area that some one else may have used before you for example a towel, razor, underwear etc, you could catch an STI or other skin infection.
Give it two days to settle i... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he text me back straight away?
Q. Me and my friend who is a boy talk but when I text him and he texts me its only for a short while then he doesn't. I hate asking him questions and him not answering. People tell me that he's not right for me but I like him and have strong feelings...
A. 19 April 2009: Have a look at this article, it's a boys perspective on texting: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-dont-boys-reply-to-my-texts.html... (read in full...)
Should cell phones be allowed in school?
Q. Okay I don't know if this fits as an article but I would like to hear your opinions. For grammar we have to write a persuasive paper and mine is about "Should cell phones be allowed in school?" I don't know if they should or shouldn't even though I ...
A. 19 April 2009: Yes they should be allowed, but turned off in class. Mobile phones are part of modern society and a very useful tool, but also very distracting in lessons.
I also think teacher should have the right to confiscate phones from anyone using it in cl... (read in full...)
I lied about my age to my boyfriend! Is he mad at me?
Q. Ok so i lied to my boyfriend that i was 15 and he is 15 turning 16 in May but i'm really 14 turning 15 next year so i told him my real age on AIM but he was offline and he hasn't txted me or anything.... Is he mad at me, does he still love me.....
A. 19 April 2009: I had a girlfriend who lied about her age and I dumped her there and then. If you can lie about that what else can you lie about?
Relationships are about trusting each other and you have made him feel stupid, by being taken in by your deceit, ... (read in full...)
He said it's just a bit of flirting. Should I continue with this?
Q. hi was just wondering if anyone could maybe help or if they have any suggestions i would be very grateful thanks. ok well what it is ive just recently started a new job and one of the guys who comes in has been flirting with me e.g winking smil...
A. 19 April 2009: You both have partners now it is up to you and you alone what to do here.
I don't see how you can love your boyfriend if you are seriously thinking about having an affair with a married man! I understand all girls have their fantasies and crushes ... (read in full...)
We just broke up. She was my life! Help me!
Q. Me and my girlfriend just broke up. We are 15 people say thats too young but i dont think so. She said we are very different and she has exams soon and it will be too difficult. I dont know what to do, she was my life. ...
A. 19 April 2009: Wait till she has done her exams then see if she fancies getting back with you. Exam time is very stressful and having a clingy boyfriend isn't going to help with that stress. She needs time to herself, so she can revise and having you texting her, ... (read in full...)
First time sex for virgins: do we still need to get checked for STDs beforehand?
Q. Hey, I know this sounds absurd but I still really appreciate some help... My boyfriend and I are over the legal age to have sex and lately we have been getting extremely intimate and have started talking about making love. We're both virgins ...
A. 19 April 2009: Well I can see where you are coming from here and I would always advise if in doubt get a screen. Unfortunately STIs aren't just sexually transmitted and can be caught in other ways too, so a check up first is a good idea.
I am really pleased ... (read in full...)
Needs translation: what is he getting at here?
Q. If a guy from my work and I were emailing and he told me he had wonders what it would be like to kiss me, does that mean he wants to? He asks me if I thought his wondering was wrong. What is he getting at? ...
A. 19 April 2009: I think he wants to kiss you, but is a little bit slow when it comes to dealing with girls and being o the point.... (read in full...)
How can I tell my b/f his kissing technique needs to be improved?
Q. my boyfriend is a little crazy with the kissing. B/c its all over my face, and soo much slobber. I started it a week go to where i would use my tongue more, but i was really mellow about it, and didn't push it. But his tongue is about to choke t...
A. 19 April 2009: I think being blunt is the only way he will learn, you have to tell him kissing him is like being force fed a slug and you like a little bit of tongue action but not all of his tongue!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves to hold my hand a lot is this good?
Q. my boyfriend loves to hold my hand a lot is this good?...
A. 19 April 2009: Yes, it's lovely!... (read in full...)
How do I convince a married woman to sleep with me?
Q. if a marreid woman likes a man and she gives him some sexual signs every now and then does,that mean that she has some sexual fantaseis about him? , and does he has a chance to get laid ?? and what is the way to seduce her ?? if i wanted to??...
A. 19 April 2009: She doesn't fantasise about you she is just flirting, as she knows you like her and all girls like to know a guy fancies them, it doesn't mean she likes you in that way.
You are in your 30's, and worrying about getting laid! Some how I doubt yo... (read in full...)
After splitting up do you still have a soft spot for that person?
Q. when you split with people, do u always have some sort of soft spot for them after uve split with them, I still have for my ex after we split in october and im not sure if it was normal, I no i still talk 2 him even tho he has a gf And i w...
A. 19 April 2009: It is normal to have a soft spot for an ex, you did go out with them for a reason, and often it's easier to remember why you were going out with them than why you split up with them, this is especially the case if you are single.
But once you are ... (read in full...)
Kissing disaster
Q. Okay well I've been thinking and I do love my boyfriend BUT... there's a problem - he has braces and in the next couple of months I'm getting braces too but I'm a little bit scared to kiss him just in case something goes wrong. Can we still kiss ...
A. 19 April 2009: Yes you will be fine, just don't go near any strong magnets together, lol!
People don't tend to kiss with their teeth so there should be no problem at all.... (read in full...)
How easily can a guy get an erection?
Q. Hello. So this is a general question to everyone so all you guys and girls out there please feel free to go ahead and answer. So this subject intrigues me and i want to understand it more. So guys my age 14-15, how easily can they get an erection...
A. 19 April 2009: Yeah they can think about it, see a girl they like or sometimes it just happens.... It can be very annoying and embarrassing too!... (read in full...)
The adults on this site are so annoying!!!
Q. God, can I just say. Adults on this site are so annoying. I am 13. I haven't asked any... I dunno, sex related questions personally. But looking at the responses for people who are 13 and having sex issues like that girl with the vibrator ect. You ...
A. 19 April 2009: I think you have decided to have a rant about something on this site and have bitten off more than you chew. It's nice to see other people of your age group taking a much more mature attitude than you have towards our advise.
Just because you and ... (read in full...)
How do you get over a guy who uses you for sex only?
Q. how do you get over sleeping with a guy who fed you compliments and bullshit just to get you into bed, takes down your number then never calls? And how exactly do you act when you see him again? Im so humiliated I dont know what to do. ...
A. 18 April 2009: I think a slap across the face would be justified, although if you don't like the idea of assault just ignore him and any bullshit he tries to come out with.
The only way to get over it, is to treat it as a learning experience.... (read in full...)
Ideas for token of how I miss her while I am away on holidays?
Q. Hi There, I am going on holiday soon for two weeks and I'm going to miss my gf very much and she says she is gunna miss me. What can I do to make her feel that im thinking bout her whilst im gone. I was thinking of organising some flowers to ...
A. 18 April 2009: That sounds very sweet, or you could send her a post card. 14 days, bless!
Sorry I'm being a heartless squddie we leave our wives and girlfriends for 6-12 months at a time, so 14 days doesn't seem so long. But I can appreciate how you worry sh... (read in full...)
If someone smokes weed does that change his moods?
Q. If someone smokes weed and he sees a girl that has a brother that is friends with him and he has been giving her signs that he likes her and at the end he ignores her but still smokes weed does that change the person for who they are, becaus...
A. 18 April 2009: As I pointed out in your last question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/whats-going-on-did-i-do-something-wrong.html
You have had tons of advice on previous posts please read what we have said there.... (read in full...)
How can I find out who the father of my child is?
Q. Please help me... i had sex with one guy round dec 11 or 12 we only had sex once n it was unprotected.. but ive been having sex with this other guy for a while n its always unprotected.my last cycle was dec 26 and now im 16wks pregnant who could be...
A. 18 April 2009: Niki20 is right. It either of them could be the father of your child, I suggest you get an STI screen as you don't want to pass something nasty to your child.
In future please use protection preferably something hormone based as well as Condoms ... (read in full...)
What's going on? Did I do something wrong?
Q. Hi,there I am So confused:S I been going crazy about this boy named "Harry" his same age as me but turning 17 this year and I’m 16. Last week On Monday I saw him when I was walking to school he kept looking behind to see me and at the end ...
A. 18 April 2009: Oh his names changed last time you posted this I'm sure his name was JK! Seriously you have posted this question several times and have had some good answers:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/follow-up-whats-going-on-.html
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Signs of pregnancy?
Q. I had sex with my bf a couple of weeks ago. We used protection but we have used protection in the past and I still fell pregnant. I had an abortion but that is a different story. I had what a believed to be my period last week but it was ligher and ...
A. 18 April 2009: Your friend is right.
Do you want a baby? If so wait and see, if you don't go and see a Doctor, and find out what your options are.
Seriously SPEAK TO A DOCTOR that is what they get paid far too much money for.... (read in full...)
Anyone with mild bi-polar disorder or heavy mood swings who can help?
Q. I am with a guy and have been for about a year. Time is coming up when we both will have to move out of our current homes. We have been thinking about getting a place together. Unfortunately, he was recently layed off and hasn't found any good ...
A. 18 April 2009: The best thing for someone who is bi-polar is someone who loves them and makes sure they seek professional help, Bi-polar disorder is treatable in many cases, yes it will be long term meds and counselling sessions, but with some one to love and ... (read in full...)
Is he testing the waters? Being friendly?
Q. I wonder if you can help me figure this guy out please? I had a one night stand at Christmas time with this guy who is a friend of a friend. I knew this guy vaguely before but only as an acquaintance I would see with my friend once a year over the...
A. 18 April 2009: I agree with the anonymous poster here, sounds like he's testing the waters for another hook up.... (read in full...)
Any ways to get girl's virginity back?
Q. is there any way to get back the virginity for a girl?if yes then what are these ways?...
A. 18 April 2009: NO once you have had sex there is no going back, you have lost your virginity. If you are talking about getting your hymen back there is a way with very careful surgery that costs a lot of money.
... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my dad trust me?
Q. Hi so i'm 20 years old still a virgin and never been kissed. i mean i've had boyfriends but never felt comfortable in kissing them i just want that perfect one so i am waiting for the right one i guess. but my problem is my dad, i still liv...
A. 18 April 2009: This is one of those Dad things I'm guessing you are youngest child, so just you and your sister?
She may only be 2 years older than you but you are going to be Daddy's little girl, I think you need to point out that you are over 18 and you are ... (read in full...)
Signs of pregnancy?
Q. I had sex with my bf a couple of weeks ago. We used protection but we have used protection in the past and I still fell pregnant. I had an abortion but that is a different story. I had what a believed to be my period last week but it was ligher and ...
A. 18 April 2009: To be honest the gut feeling you are getting is probably more accurate than any test, especially as you have been pregnant in the past. I know many women who have said they are pregnant before taking a test, they just know. (strange creatures these ... (read in full...)
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