A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Current situation; I'm 23 and living with my fiancee in London. We've been together since September 2007. I have an alright job, but not many friends here yet and no real activities to do (as the fiancee works nights and I work days). I am happy a good deal of the time, even though we bicker sometimes.Problem is, I'm still (somehow) reeling from something that someone did 5 years ago. She was everything to me. We were together for only a year and a day (until 1 April 2005), she was the first girl I ever really loved. After we broke up, I spend the best part of the next two and a half years in meaningless relationships constantly, trying to make myself happy and get over her (hereafter referred to as X).I keep thinking about her. Even though I'm very much in love with my fiancee, and there's no chance of getting together with X (She now lives in abroad.. With her girlfriend..). I can't help but think of all the good times and the bad times, the arguments and fallings out after we broke up, and how much she hurt me. I still care for her a great deal and it really hurts whenever I think about her, which is a lot. Is this normal after FIVE years? What can I do to get over her and start leading a pain-free life? Could it be that I'm just not happy now?
View related questions:
broke up, fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, seneca +, writes (26 June 2010):
I'm afraid so. Some women just never get out from under your skin!
I have had a full life, several serious girlfriends, happy marriage, children, 'and all that', but still sometimes (OK, let's be honest, OFTEN!) wake up in a hot sweat about a great girlfriend I had THIRTY-FIVE years ago! Super cover-girl looks, the very best sex I ever had (and lots of it!), hilarious sense of humour, but she just was not ready to settle for one guy. I would guess she never did. Sometimes I feel like I would trade all my life and kids (whom I love dearly) for just one more fantastic night with her. I know that is really stupid and if it were possible I hope that I would have the sense not to do it. Our feelings about women, and sex, are just not rational and we have to learn to live with it.
Join the club, mate!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): I felt this way for a long time about someone I broke up with--and even though I fell in love with someone else. It will eventually go away, and you'll wonder what you ever saw in the first girl.
...............................
A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (22 May 2010):
Not easy, but write down all her bad points and read them everyday. Nostalgia will make you view her through rose tinted glasses.
Focus on what you have now. Everytime you think of her think how bad she was then think of something else.
If she was as great as you remember you would still be together.
...............................
|
