A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I was 16. I had never kissed a boy before, i had a boyfriends before but never had done more than held a guys hand.(i was a junior and he was a senior)There was a guy i was somewhat friends with.(he's a twin)So i decided to hang out with him for real, i really started liking him, a few months later i actually gained the courage to kiss him.A week later he told me "he had too much on his plate for a gf"I said i was okay with that.(I am 17 now and he has graduated 18 year old)and now its been six months. we make out, touch each other and talk dirty(which again i had never done)He's seen me naked in pictures a couple times. I've only seen him fully naked in pictures, but i had seen him naked below the waist lots of times.I had even given him a blow job once(I am not a slut he is the only one i would do this for) i havent asked him about dating since the first time.Just recently i introduced him to my grandma which was hard because my grandma is not into any guys i meet.He means a lot to me and he says the same to me and could not kissing me in secrecy in my room.I know i sound stupid but do you think we are dating and if you think i should just ask him.How do i ask him?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 July 2012):
 hi
No he is not dating you.
You like him and he means a lot to you.
But his actions say that he is taking advantage of you affection for him.
Remove all the sexual advantages and delights that you willingly allow him and then I think he would just back away.
I truly wish he would get a little more honorable and treat you better and actually date you.
Guys will always take advantage of a girl who likes him and is willing to show she likes him.
Guys just see it as sport.
But when it is the guy who likes a girl who he truly wants. But she is not yet willing to allow favors then you see a guy lift his game and do everything to impress her. And ask her out on dates. And proudly introduce her to his friends and family.
This is very difficult for you as Emotionally you really like him.
Maybe ask him how he would react if you pulled back on the sexual favors?
He might not be happy.
But if he truly does care about you then he would stay around and start treating you better.
But if you are just there, in his opinion, for sexual pleasure, and the sexual pleasure was no more on offer then I think he would stop seeing you.
Just remember if he is not committed to you then eventually you will lose him when he finds a girl he really does want to win. Via wooing, dating, respecting and loving.
Always look at the Actions of a guy.
A
female
reader, lOvex3Jenny  +, writes (29 July 2012):
 No, you guys are not dating, in some ways it's obvious he's just using you for the "benefits", so practically you guys are technically just friends with benefits. You need to be straight forward with this guy if you want a real relationship, you need to talk to him about your relationship status. If he chooses to continue being just "friends with benefits" then I'd say it's best to leave him and move on to people who are willing to be proud to have you as their girlfriend. Also, I don't think it's considered "desperate" at all to ask if this "relationship" is going anywhere, do what makes you feel is right. To be honest, i think you giving him all these benefits without much in return is rather "desperate". Girl, you're better than this ! You deserve so much better than this guy. Please think wisely about your decision.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (29 July 2012):
 No, I do not think you're dating. I think you're providing him with all the perks of a relationship without encumbering him with the obligations of one. In short, he's getting a free ride.
I would definitely not ask 'are we dating?' as this would sound weak and desperate. I would TELL him that since he only wants to be friends, that is exactly what you'll be and you don't kiss and fondle friends.
Then I'd go out on dates with other young men. No more free blow jobs, naked pictures or anything else beyond a few kisses until you have what you want.
Sighs...but then you won't actually follow my advice because you have a crush on this guy and you're hoping that all these freebies will entice him into making it official with you. It won't.
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