A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Long story short, I made a bit of an ass of myself at my friend's 40th birthday party at the weekend.We all got together on Saturday and spent the weekend together, I only really know the husband and wife who were giving the party, the others were their friends.We went out for dinner and we were all chatting/laughing. I ended up saying something that upset the wife, but she didn't let on at the time, so I didn't realise. The weekend seemed to go really well. Yesterday, I got a long email from her, telling me how much I'd upset her and about some other things that I say that annoy her. I obviously apologised straight away and I'm mortified that I've damaged our friendship. She emailed back to say 'thank you and let's draw a line under it and move on'. The problem is that I'm due to see them both tonight on a course. Should I apologise face-to-face, or just leave things as they are? I don't want to rake it all up again, but feel it would be better to say something. What do you think?
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 well it's probably too late now and you've probably already gone, but i would say something. it couldn't hurt. i think face-to-face talks are a lot more personal and meaningful than an impersonal e-mail. it could only make things better.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 February 2013):
 I like K_C100's idea...
and relax... I have a friend who just told me the other night about something I did back in SEPTEMBER that upset her.
AT her wedding reception.... I felt so bad but she told me and we moved on. Your friends sound much like her... they just need to get it off their chest and no need to fret about it again... use the information to not do it again if possible... and let it go.. like she said....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013): Original poster here. In the end my question was academic. Neither of them attended the course. Might be because they knew I'd be there, or something else came up. I'm not going to pursue it, they go on holiday for a few days tomorrow.
I'll wait and see if they come next week or contact me. Thank you all for the advice.
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A
female
reader, wonderbread +, writes (27 February 2013):
I wouldn't worry about it, unless she brought it up which I don't think she will. It's water under the bridge, which she pretty much said with 'drawing the line.'
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 February 2013):
 She gave you a chance to bury it. ... NOW, leave it buried....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (27 February 2013):
 I wouldnt bring it up in front of other people, but if you and the wife are alone at any point I'd just quietly say "sorry again for the other night, I feel terrible and I'm glad you are happy to draw a line under it and move on".
I agree that you want to show her that you still feel awful about this and you havent forgotten about it, but equally its not an appropriate conversation to have in front of her husband or around other people. So if you are alone at any time by all means, apologise again, but dont draw it out and make it long winded - a simple 'sorry again' will be more than adequate.
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