A
female
age
51-59,
*nnie64
writes:my husband mentally abuses me. i want to call the police but i dont know if they would think him shouting at me and smashing things in the house serious enough. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): if you fear for your safety (and that of your children and pets if any), you should definitely call the police.
You shouldn't have to live in fear.
You know your husband is mentally abusing you, you state so yourself. You have taken the first step towards freeing yourself by being aware of and acknowledging that his behavior is abuse. So many victims never realize or refuse to admit that what their spouses are doing is abuse.
A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (18 December 2010):
If he starts shouting at you, try leaving the room. Give him as little attention as possible, keep your face completely still. Some people enjoy the look of fear and anger in their victim, if he is one of these people, then these tactics will either cause him to be bored quickly or it could also escalate the situation. Look very hard into why he does this, then you can work out how to stop it and how to cope with it. May be its a problem in another part of his life.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (18 December 2010):
 I agree, get intouch with the Domestic helpline, you are being abused and it is not acceptable in any shape or form.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): Actual physical violence is termed battery. The threshold of assault is met if the actor (your husband) puts you in fear of imminent harm.
If it were not defined this way bullies would be intimidating the people writing checks in the express lane by taking fake swings at them.
Call the police.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): Have you told your husband that his behaviour is NOT acceptable when he's calm, have you told him it scares you, you feel threatened and IF it does NOT stop he should move out from the marital home until he seeks professional help - 'Anger management' etc.
You must NOT accept this type of abusive behaviour, and YES if he his acting out like this, call the police, as you have no idea if when your husband is in this mode, whether or not he will actually be physically abusive - it has to stop!
The police are very supportive of women suffering from domestic violence, they would rather be called, and know you are safe, and probably caution your husband, than you to become statistic.
You do not elaborate as to whether this is on-going abusive behaviour, as in he has always been like this, or it has just recently occurred. Either way, this is not acceptable, and you must seek legal and emotional supportive advice.
Please visit these websites: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
AND the ' Women's Domestic Violence Helpline '
http://www.wdvh.org.uk/
National Domestic Violence 24 hour Helpline
0808 2000 247
Do NOT leave this, or think it will get better without him receiving help. So take the first steps to protect yourself and seek help..please.
Let me know what you decide to do.
Jilly
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A
female
reader, waitingforsummer  +, writes (18 December 2010):
I'm in the same boat. My husband actually did hurt me once, and I called the police. The police asked if I could leave and go somewhere safe until he calms down because there was "no evidence" (no blood or visable bruises) that he did anything and he told them I was lying and crazy etc. I don't know if the police in your area are like that... but here it's so useless to even call unless you're seriously beat up.
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A
female
reader, Merilee  +, writes (18 December 2010):
If you fear for your life ie: he is threatening to hurt you, then yes.
Other than that, I dont think so.
However, it is a good reason to divorce someone.
If your really not sure, keep a diary, date it, time it, say the weather, anything to colaborite what youre writing down, whom you talked to, or told about the incidents.
I did this, for years leading up to my divorce, he went into to court and said, she did this and that, I requested specific dates from him, and thats how he found out about my books, and its got him running scared.
Keep them as emotionaly detatched as possible, just stick to the facts.
I submitted mine for the police to read, when they came to my house, thats another story though, and the officer that read them, said my husband was a manipulator,and a few other choice words, and to make sure I kept my books.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): Why don't you call one of the domestic violence helplines. You can google for phone numbers. They would be able to give to support and real advice. Mental abuse is very damaging, but I'm not sure if the Police would feel they could get involved without physical violence being an issue. But get some advice from people who can really help you.
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