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Would it be wrong to tell my cousin's ex-crush that I like him?

Tagged as: Crushes, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 February 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2017)
A female Canada age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have this huge crush on a guy in my class. I've liked him on and off for 5-6 months now. We met through my cousin and he's a really sweet guy. First thing's first, I'm nervous about telling him how I feel. I've dropped hints about it, pretty often, but I'm not sure he has gotten the message and I think there's a chance he might like me too. We've been talking a lot since January. We helped each other study for exams, and I really liked the time we spent together. Would it be a good idea for me to tell him that I like him? The only issue is, I don't want to lose him as a friend.

Next thing, I found out that my cousin (the one who introduced us) used to have a crush on him, it was a while ago, but I'm afraid some of her feelings have lingered. He knew that she liked him, but didn't feel the same. I ask her about it, but she always denies it. Would it be wrong to tell my cousin's ex-crush that I like him? I don't want to be stepping on anyone's toes, and I could keep this to myself and get over him. I just don't want to screw anything up.

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A female reader, prettydiamond United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2017):

First of all u deserve a round of applause for at least caring about your cousins feelings. I was living with alot of my family in one house in 2015; it was for a holiday and my uncle's young friend came along and I ended up crushing on him. Now because this country is where my family's from, I stayed behind with some of us and havnt been back to London ever since, but alot of us have, including my uncles friend whos not even from here. Recently my uncle and his family came back (theyre even still here), my ex crush is with them, and ive noticed my cousin likes him but she didnt tell me, and i've noticed that he likes her too. I felt really disgusted; my case is a little different beacause the guy used to really like me, infact he wanted to marry me, which is why i'm more disgusted with him than I am with her. Anyway, before u tell him anything, make sure u know that she is completely over him. It would even be easier if shes currently in a relationship. I'm not saying to stop liking him, just be considerate; she'd appreciate it too. Wish u all the best!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2015):

Run it by your cousin that you like him, but you just needed to know how she feels about it before saying anything to him. That way, she can't get angry at you if she keeps denying she doesn't have any lingering feelings for him. You're related, and apparently friends as well. You don't want a boy to come between you and your cousin, that neither of you are even dating.

Just remember, he doesn't even know how you like him yet; so be a little considerate of your cousin's feelings. Don't get me wrong, he's not her boyfriend; and it's not like you're stealing him from her. You'll just be taking her feelings into consideration.

If she won't admit her feelings, go right ahead and let him know you like him. You gave her a chance to let you know if she had a problem with it, if she denies even liking him; consider that a go.

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A female reader, Midnight Shadow United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2015):

Midnight Shadow agony auntRead this OP's post about her friend liking her ex-crush; it could be how your cousin would feel: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/shes-falling-for-my-ex-crush-how-can.html

I think that, if you have good reason to believe he does like you in the same way, it would be wise to talk to your cousin about it and ask him out if she says she's okay with it.

If you don't know, I (personally) wouldn't risk it if I knew I could fairly easily let it go and move on.

It's up to you, but it's nice that you're thinking about others as well :)

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