A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think i have a really high sex drive. This in itself is not a problem but im just wondering if it is normal to have one as high i as i believe i have.I get myself off at least once a day and on some days it can be up to 5 or 6 times. I don't have an obsessive character, am no way obsessed with it and it doesn't interfere with my everyday life, i just like it. I read alot of romance novels (i do, however, know that sex in real life is a far cry from that in novels). I have also watched porn before but i feel really dirty after i have watched it; it is a strange feeling because while i am watching it i don't mind it, but as soon as i have finished, i can't believe i let myself watch it.I have never had a boyfriend, nor had sex. In social situations i am normally very quiet and find it quite difficult to express myself and interact with people let alone a member of the opposite sex. I not socially inept or a loner; i just have low self esteem and confidence issues. I really want to have sex but i feel that when i do i will be unable to enjoy it because of how i feel about myself. And if i am unable to enjoy it then i probably wont have enough to satisfy myself. Also i'm worried that i will not like it as much as i do when i go solo. You may respond that you have to teach a guy as to what you like but how do you do that?I'm worried i wont be able to convey what i want.So i guess i'm wondering if it is possible for a guy to like a girl who is generally very quiet, and can be quite awkward in social situations, but still like to go out with her and have sex with her? I know the answer would be a straight YES if you go by the stereotypical view that guys will have sex with anything with legs and a vagina, so please just answer as true as you can to real life!I have been very unsure about whether to post this problem on here as it is pretty personal and not something that i would normally discuss with anyone.
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confidence, never had a boyfriend, porn, self esteem, sex drive, vagina Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Just because you masterbsate four times a day doesn't mean you'd want sex four times a day, trust mr I'm the same
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Most guys would love to have a girlfriend who was horny on a regular basis. I myself have a very high sex drive compared to most women. My fiance has told me before that it is hard to find a woman who (a) really enjoys sex and gets into it and (b) wants to have sex on a regular basis. He says he hit the jackpot with me. But, just because you like to masturbate does not mean you will automatically like sex. Many women find it easier to get off while masturbating than while having sex. If you do find that both are very enjoyable for you, than just consider yourself a lucky woman. And know you will most likely make some man feel like he has hit the "sexual" jackpot with you.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 I echo Jmtmj's answer: yes...yes...yes...
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (4 August 2011):
 "I have been very unsure about whether to post this problem on here as it is pretty personal and not something that i would normally discuss with anyone."
It's completely anonymous Internet stuff. Post anything you like.
Just from the traits you've mentioned - "generally very quiet, and can be quite awkward in social situations" - you're the kind of girl a guy would date. Quiet is fine, awkward is fine.
There's more to it, though. For instance, you don't mention your looks, interests, social circle, or anything about the kind of guy you go for. All of those will have a huge effect on your romantic life.
The self-esteem issues and ambivalent feelings about sex will scare some guys off, but not all. You need to accept that for now, and either be willing to let guys go when they are unwilling to deal with that (because no one man is obligated to deal with your personal issues, good or bad), or to work on those issues yourself. Sex isn't bad, promiscuity is. If you're averse to promiscuity and casual sex, that's good for your long-term emotional state; if you're averse to all sex, that's not so good. You need to work on separating the two in your mind. To help with that, don't be afraid to make a man wait a while before you sleep with him.
If you're quiet and awkward, guys may be willing to date you, but many may mistakenly believe you are unwilling to date *them*. Just because a guy doesn't express interest doesn't mean it's not there, it might mean he just thinks he has no shot. Try to act more receptive to flirting, or even to initiate it yourself.
"You may respond that you have to teach a guy as to what you like but how do you do that?I'm worried i wont be able to convey what i want."
With time and patience. You weren't born knowing how to walk, talk, or pour a beer, but you can do these things now. Don't expect instant expert-level skill from yourself or from any guy. Most people's first time is awkward, nerve-wracking, and one way or another is over too quickly. So is most folks' second time. Be patient, be willing to candidly discuss with a guy what works and what doesn't, and learn as you go. Try shouting simple but clear directions during sex, like "Harder!" or "Bite my neck!" Depends on what you're into. Experiment.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Yes.
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