A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or kissed a girl. While I would say being a geek, overweight, and not being particularly handsome hinders any success, I will say most of it comes from having approach anxiety.I can talk to women if they're friends or if I meet them through acquaintances and I have time to warm up a bit. I just can't make any progress to asking any woman that I'm attracted to to going on a date.I had some really bad experiences approaching women. Some would say no but a few would take it a step further and talk down to me to their friends. For example: One girl said "just because I'm fat like you doesn't mean I'll (expletive) you." And she kept going on and on about how I was ignorant for even attempting to talk to her. I wouldn't say I've approached a lot of women but it's a good number. This year however I have made no effort due to my anxiety. I always imagine they will turn bad or result in a rejection anyway.Now if you go on the internet, a lot of women talk about how they're uncomfortable by men approaching them. So this has only made my anxiety worse because now I'm thinking not only will they say no but I'm freaking them out too. Is there any help for me? Do dating coaches help at all? Or is it best for me to remain celibate.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 November 2015):
 As a guy who has "been there".... I can offer this advice:
When approaching a woman who strikes your fancy, imagine that you are going to participate in a boxing match with a young Muhammed Ali.... EXCEPT, he is going to wear enormous "NERF" boxing gloves. He can swing at you.... and connect... all night long... but the gloves will make you impervious to the might of his fists.... Soon, you'll realize that you have endured a boxing match with the GREATEST.... Then,....
... imagine you are in the same predicament when you approach that girl who catches your eye...
Good luck.....
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (10 November 2015):
 Perhaps you could lose some weight and then you will feel better about yourself. I hear that it isn't that easy but I'm sure there must be something you can do.
The women who put you down don't sound very kind. I would give that circle a wide berth.
The way you dress and present yourself can maximise your good points. Make sure you always appear fresh and tidy.
Slimming is a bit of a journey and you may meet a kindred spirit on the way. Start looking forward to the new wardrobe you are going to need for your new life.
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