A
female
age
30-35,
*itKatAttack
writes:I just found out I was pregnant two weeks ago and I'm only in my seventh week. A week before I found out I was pregnant I broke up with my boyfriend who I had been on and off with for 4 years. Ironically, I was finally through with him for good because he just wasnt growing up. Now he knows I'm pregnant and he wants the baby so bad but he hates me so I'm afraid he is going to try to take it away from me. I dont really know how the courts see things in America, so I have no idea what to expect and I would be devastated if he was granted even so much as unsupervised visitation. Here are the details.Im going to be graduated from a four year college (two years early) with a BS in Biology before the baby is due. I'm a practicing catholic and plan on raising my kid that way. I got a job as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I have a supportive upper middle class family willing to help me financially. I have good credit and insurance. As far as character goes, I'm honest, trusting, open-minded, thoughtful, ethical, intelligent, respectful and courteous.His details: he was fired the day I told him I was pregnant, so he has no job. He has the worst credit in the history of credit, doesnt bother to pay his bills, mostly because he cant. All he owns is an old grand am and a motorcycle. He doesnt have a home, he bounces around (although, so do I because I'm in college). He is basically a bankrupt high school dropout who wants to put my child on welfare. His character: he can be respectful, when he wants, but generally is very crude and disrespectful. He cusses in almost every sentence, is racist, sexist, and vulgar. He is easily prone to fits of rage and is very immature. His family is, Im sorry to say, poor white trash.The problem is, I could be a bad girl when I wanted too, and he could be a good guy. He is good with children and he is adament on getting his child from me. But I'm so terrified of the things my baby would learn if allowed to be in that environment. He'd be cussing before he hit three!So please tell me, would a court ever take my baby away from me and give it this man unsupervised? And how would I stop it? I dont want him in either of our lives.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Well the truth is that you can't just take the child away from him. You will most likely have custody, but he will probably be able to have the baby or at least visit the baby every other weekend. Its a little bit different when they are babies Im not sure if he will get to take him/her for the weekend to his house or if he will just beable to visit him/her on the weekend. They do not take away custody of the child from either parent unless they have a reason to. For instance if one parent is unable to provide for the child then the other would have primary custody. However the other parent would still have visitation rights. They will never take away visitation rights unless the childs life or best interest is in danger. Or if they are afraid the other parent may kidnap the child. So what I could see happening with your baby, you, and your ex is you would probably get full custody, but your ex would still have visitation rights. If you are really concerned you can go to your Local courthouse and go to the Law Library or to the Self help center in the courthouse ( if it has one, some courthouses do and some dont) and just see what the laws are for your county/ state regarding child custody and explain your situation. I hope that helped for what it was worth. Best of luck!
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 The American court system typically rules in favor of the mother unless there is gross negligence or abuse. In your case, I think it's safe to say there's no way your b/f can have your baby taken away from you, but I would be more concerned that he may try to kidnap the child as a form of revenge. If he persists on having visitation rights to this child, you should insist they be supervised at all times, and list in detail the type of environment the child is likely to be exposed to. Most child authorities will not rule in the favor of a child being handed over to a guy who cannot support himself and provide a good environment for the child, even if he is the father. Just keep doing what you're doing and avoid getting into situations where you leave the baby unattended, or with too many baby-sitters while you are out partying with your friends. Though I doubt he has the financial means, he could have you watched, in order to prove you as an unfit mother. My advise -- don't give him any amno. Good luck.
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