A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm at a loss of what to do now, as my heart is in it. I've been dating this guy for since the beg. of january, and we are still not in a committed relationship. I know he's not dating other people, and currently, neither am I. We have awesome chemistry, and only have fights when booze is involved, and it's usually over something stupid. There are certain things he does which really are getting to me, making me insecure. For example, when he's out with his friends, he won't return a text I send, even though he knows it bothers me. I know his heart is in it, i just don't understand why he can't fully commit. it's making me feel bad, because it seems like he doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not. I know the logical answer is to say good bye, but right now, I can't imagine not having him in my life. Any suggestions of what to do? He really is a good guy, I just know he has some major past gf issues (2 years ago he moved to the area for a girl and she broke up with him before he started his new job). thanks!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 August 2008):
Well you have to do something or you'll stay unhappy about it.
I think you need to show him exactly how unhappy this is making you. Tell him you need some kind of assurance that you aren't wasting your time. Tell him that you can't hang around hoping he'll get over whatever ex girls have done.
Tell him you are not after marriage but that you need him to be more committed or you are going to have to have a serious think about whether you want to stay with him.
As for texting when he's out, you could chill out a bit, and give the guy some trust. It could be that he's scared to commit because he's scared you'll turn into a clingy nightmare.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Well his past issues with women might just be the reason that hes not fully commited to you. He might love you a lot, but he loved her a lot, and then that happened. Which just makes him insecure himself.
He might not even be considering it. What I suggest you do is either see where it goes or just tlak to him about it. I know thats the standard answer but no one knows what your thinking unless you let it out and make it known to them. They can't do anything to help you if you don't let them know the problem.
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