A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have posted below post before and now going to have my 2nd time sex. Is it high chance for him to stretch my vagina wall as painful as my first time? Most of my friend said that very high chance to hurt like that again since he is so big and he only stretch my vagina first 3" during the first time sex, the remaining still consider virgin area and never used to have big object force it open before. Is it true? First post:I am 24 and just lost my virginity last night. Almost all my friend lost their virginity during teenage, so I told my bf that I have had sex with few person before but when I saw his penis size, I almost fainted, he is about 9" and very very thick around. I thinks his size is abnormal as I expecting something about 5". I am afraid that he will find out i was a virgin if he hurt me a lot.I just told him that I never have sex with this big size before and hope he can take it slow. When he penetrate me, he try to make it slow but look like my vagina is very small and he need to thrust hard. Once he get the head inside, the pain was horrible, I felt like my vagina stretch beyond the limit and split, I try to control not to scream even it is too painful for me to handle, hopping he did not not notice I am a virgin. He keep telling me that I am tighter than the virgin he had sex before. I understand that the pain is from my hymen and the painful part was over (I think).It is not easy for him to push inside me (may be he is too big or I am too small), each heavy push only able to enter me a little bit, once he enter a little more, the stretching pain appear again and split me into half again. This continue for few thrust (may be 9~10 thrust) and then he come, it is not easy for me to handle every thrust. He said he just enter me about 3.5" and he come so quickly due to my tightness. He said will have sex again next week and I am afraid the remaining 5.5" will continue to hurt me like that.I have a few question:1) Is his size abnormal?2) Is this size not suitable for a first timer?3) Is the pain I felt normal to a girl when she lost her virginity? or it is too much for me to handle?4) I felt my vagina split, it is really split?5) Everybody talking about hymen breaking pain, why I felt the stretching pain was more than hymen tearing?6) I actually bleed a lot but just told him is due to his size. Do you think that he notice that I was a virgin?
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hymen, lost my virginity, penis size, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): I feel so sorry for you. This is horrible to read. Why would you feel the need to LIE to your boyfriend? Tell him the truth, or this relationship is doomed. I am sorry but really. It hurts me to hear that you can't even tell him something so important as you being a virgin, then how can you ever grow close or share things in life.
And yes I am afraid he is abnormally large and this size of his actually hurts women who are not virgins too. Even for me, my ex-fiancee was really thick (its the thickness that causes the pain) and even though we had sex a lot and for over a year and a half, it would still hurt, and I could bleed if I wasnt careful.
Talk to him for heavens sake and tell him he took your virginity. Also for the next time around, be sure you are very wet, and use some lubricant as he is very large.
A
male
reader, Kenneth  +, writes (24 November 2009):
Second time around is always better.No penis is ever too big for a woman's vagina as long as you are well lubricated. Relax and enjoy the ride!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 November 2009):
 My suggestion is to go see your gynecologist for an exam if you are still bleeding. If you feel "split" then there may indeed be some damage to your tissues and you should have that looked at. Pain is our body's way of telling us there is something wrong.
You seem very concerned that he not know you are a virgin. This is puzzling, as unless you are a masochist or a liar, this is information should be shared with the man who being intimate with you.
From the report of the encounter, I gather that there wasn't much done to prepare you for this penetration--naturally, as you had lied to him--so your experience was painful. You are also asking a lot of questions that indicate you need a great deal of education on this matter and I think Aunty BimBim's suggestion is a very good one. Your gynecologist--and you should have one, at your age and if you are going to become sexually active--will be an excellent person to give you information specific to your body.
So in sum, will sex the second time be as a bad as the first? Yes, until you do that homework and have the exam. He may have torn you inside and will tear you even further if you do not take action to protect your health. It seems idiotic to me, frankly, that you would proceed without doing so in the first place. And lying is generally accepted to be a poor idea for most things in life.
Here are some links to get you started:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thinking-about-losing-your-virginity.html
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/your-guide-female-reproductive-system
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/sexuality-4323.htm
Good luck, I think you are going to need it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (24 November 2009):
 you many need a little help with lubrication, maybe your body was not quite ready for him, and so your vagina was dry.
Because you live in Australia i would suggest you contact your nearest family planning clinic, most capital cities have them, if you cant make an appointment to go visit, ask if they will be able to talk to you over the phone about your problem, or if they can recommend a help line.
They will be able to answer the questions you have posted.
PS phone during business hours, they dont have an after hours service.
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