New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244969 questions, 1084324 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Is my level of anxiety normal or not?

Tagged as: Big Questions<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 November 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 November 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone,

im not sure if anyone is able to help but here goes...

I recently passed my driving test and got myself a car. The thing is instead if being thrilled of having my independence im terrified of driving. I mean i was confident in my lessons and i passed with only 3 minors but now i just dont trust myself. The other night i went to do some shopping with my brother,i was driving and i changed lanes without indicating-this obviously pissed off the car i just cut up....i know i was totally in the wrong but it scared me that i could be so irresponsible.

I now keep imaging having a crash and killing someone and then being sent to prison...is my level of anxiety normal or not?

Im avoiding driving places but i cant do it forever.I rarely drive alone but even with someone with me its still no better.

All my friends after they got their licence couldnt wait to get in the car. 1 friend even hit another car the 1st day she took hers out-no one was injured but she just found it funny and said "shit happens" and moved on.

Advice? Past experiences??

Thanks

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009):

I need advice on this too hahah! I too am scared of driving and I have absolutely no confidence in myself. I am currently postponing taking my theory test, because my driving teacher is telling me I need to get my license already! But I am actually afraid to! When I drive with my instructor Im scared too and keep envisaging me crashing into some car, and then I get terrified because I wouldn't want to ruin this innocents mans life because of my carelessness.

No incidents so far, like yourself, except for a punctured tire. But I am reckless at times, I scare myself in the traffic with cars I should have seen, things I should have done, forgetting to slow down before intersections...!

At least we are not alone feeling like this, but I have no idea how we can get over it, except I believe with training we can get more confident. I am no longer terrified of getting into a car, but I am still scared of driving. Perhaps its all those shock-therapy movies they force you to watch on what happens with a car and the passengers during a crash.. They have left an imprint in me at least.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (24 November 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntI admire people who drive well in the UK, I really do. Having done it, I understand the anxiety that one could develop just thinking about it. If is becoming an issue, if your worries are intruding on normal daily activities, perhaps you need to consider seeing someone about this.

I think lots of people imagine worst-case scenarios when we are worried, but if it is taking over your thinking, that's a problem.

My suggestion to you is to do more practicing. Go to a relatively quiet area and just drive around a lot, practicing using your indicators and doing those complicated maneouvres that scare novices. Do them over and over again until they are second nature.

If you are anxious and have panic attacks with other things as well as the driving, time to see your GP and discuss your options. I know there are medications designed to help people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and perhaps you would be a candidate.

As far as my experience with accidents go, when I was in my first few months of having my driver's license in my late teens, I managed to clip the rear of a parked car as I was making a right turn (it would be the equivalent to a left turn to you) and I was devastated. I left a note on the car and the owner was so surprised to find an actual honest person who owned up to the accident that I think he wound up giving me a break. I offered to pay for the damage, and he never sent me a bill. I was VERY careful after that and *knock wood* haven't had an accident after that.

Mentally plot out your trips before you get in the car. If you start imagining crashes and accidents, stop that train of thought by saying "I am a safe driver and will take all precautions and will arrive safely" over and over again. Just derail that kind of obsessive thinking before you dwell on what bad things could happen.

You are feeling out of control and what you need to do is demonstrate to yourself that you are in fact capable of managing to move your car around town safely. You can do it, okay? Practice driving, watch for obsessive thinking and seek help if you are having too much anxiety or panic attacks.

Good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009):

Well its kinda normal for first timers like me but since practicing I reduced my thinking of crashes etc

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Is my level of anxiety normal or not?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312464000016917!