A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a friend of a family member in the past. We decided to be friends because he is deploying overseas and moving out of state. We got into a few arguments recently ( I said some mean things ) I apologized and tried my hardest to make up for it. He would ignore me most of the time but ended up calling me the night he came back home for a week before he moved. He broke plans with me the next day, and ignored me for the next two days. I ended up running into him at the bar the last night he was home and he wanted to talk. He tried making me jealous by hitting on another woman and I left. He came running over to my house that night and I was afraid to tell him how angry I felt, and how he's making it impossible to be friends. I sent him a text the next day and he didn't answer so I said that we can't be friends anytime soon. Will he realize he had taken me for granted and come around? I really care about him enough to be friends even though we can't be together. What should I do?
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male
reader, Ven +, writes (19 October 2010):
Deep breath sweetheart, this situation is going to get better.
If he is deploying, you have two things to consider:
1 - He is probably very stressed. Moving overseas (especially military moves) are hard. If he is military then he is conditioned not to show that fear, but it can surface in other ways. When he seems to send mixed signals, it's possible that he just wants to exert control over a situation in his life because he has so little control over his life.
2 - He is moving out-of-state, so the two of you are going to get some cool-off time. It will be easy for you to give him space, and no matter what he is going to change a great deal before you two hang out again.
So what is best is for you to decide you love your friend, and then turn your focus towards the rest of your life. He will come around.
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