A
female
age
51-59,
*roblem4-1
writes:Help!!I am a 40 year old female. I looked up a old lovewe were 18 we lived together briefly. his parents as well as mine did not like the relationship and eventually he left. i looked him up a few months ago i have never stopped loving him all though we both married other people and had children.i am not married now. anyway i have always needed to ask him why he left the way he did.. he just got in his car and drove away..he is re married for the second time now they have no children together but he has been a father to her children as their father has passed. they are both in college. and he has a son from his first marriage who is in college as well. anyway we met for lunch and it was wonderful to see himand i did ask him why, he said he didnt know. as we were about to leave he kissed me. remember i have been in love with this man for 23 years now it was hard not to kiss him back.anyway we have found our self's having an affair. i am so in love with him it actually hurts my heart to think of not being with him.he says he is going to leave his wife after he gets his finances in order he also don't want to hurt his relationship with the children or hurt her as she is a good woman and has never done anything wrong.he says he got married because he looked in the mirror one day and seen his hair was turning gray and didnt want to be alone.. please give advice.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, problem4-1 +, writes (22 October 2008):
problem4-1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear eyeswideopen. good s/n by the way.this is the most difficult situation I have ever found myself in.there is no one else on this planet I would have had an affair with nor would he. I understand the pain she would be in if she ever knew. i feel it now and I told him better for me to endure that pain than his family when I broke off the relationship. I know it is the proper thing to do. and hope for the best if anything ever changes. but I tell ya it would be almost sinful for us not to be together. one don't find a love or connection this strong very often if ever. and im sure she feels the same way I am to good to be a secret.
that makes me feel so insecure and that is not me I am a strong independent nice looking woman. that can have almost any man I wanted. but how does one tell the heart no????
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): I think you should be very careful. Don't let history repeat itself.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Sounds to me that you are destined to be the "other woman" for quite awhile, maybe indefinitely. I'm glad your love is stronger than your shame, I know I wouldn't be able to look at my face in the mirror knowing the horrible pain I will be inflicting on his wife, the "good woman". I wonder if he has that much respect for you?
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Well, let's hope that with work and patience everything works out.
...............................
A
female
reader, problem4-1 +, writes (21 October 2008):
problem4-1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Daniel.your right it is difficult to know.
I wish that I did.we tried doing the right thing.
not seeing each other until he got his situation right
but I think we are both afraid of that.
he is afraid that I will find someone else as I am single
and Im afraid he will have no motivation to ever leave.
his finances is in bad shape as he has found his self like most of the u.s. with a mortgage and a second mortgage that they cant afford. and he wont leave her in that situation.
he has tried to suggest selling the house. but to date she wont hear of it.he also has some pretty bad credit card debt
that he is trying to pay off before the split if there ever is one. I wish there was a way this could work out without any pain involved. I feel so horrible but my love for him is stronger than the shame I feel. :(
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (21 October 2008):
It's difficult to say, dear poster. I would say that, if he's unhappy in his marriage, there does not seem to be too much to stop him from leaving his wife. But, like I say, it's difficult to know.
I wish you the best.
...............................
|
