A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im 30 and my wife is 24. I found lots of porn in my wife's computer, this doesn't bother me or make mad. The problem is that I don't feel sexually satisfied at all. We have sex once a month with luck. Everytime I want have sex with her she is tired, stressed or for some other reason just not to do it, but when she wants she just shows up and ask me, do you want to do it? yes or no!I have tried almos everything, talk to her, trying new things in bed (toys) new positions etc, but nothing seems to work. Those time that I have talked to her she seem to realize that she is not given me enough and she says that she is going to change and that she notice the problem, but after a day or two everything comes back to normal. Her computer history show that she watch porn a least 4 or 5 times a week. All the sex that i found is sex in groups and bisexual stuff. I have no problem watching porn with her, but she doesn't like it, or even watch her masturbating, but she doesn't like nwither. I have tried to get off masturbating myself but after a while it doesn't make sense to me, why to do this if i have a partner to enjoy? I totally feel replaced by porn. Please some advice, thanks.
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 Sounds like she is getting addicted to getting off to the porn rather than with you?
Unfortunately for some that is what porn will do and unless she addresses this, i can see it continuing.
She needs to know how this makes you feel, we get many questions on here and it is usually the women asking for help, and it just goes to show men can feel left out too.
If you have tried everything you can possibly think of and she is still not listening, then i think it is fair to say she has a problem with it.
Marriage Counselling for you both could help, also one to one counselling for your wife and her addiction to the porn will be beneficial in her coming to terms with how she can stop her behaviour with the porn.
Because to me porn is just the tip of the iceberg here i think she has other issues going on with your relationship that she will not confront you with, and is running from them into porn to help her escape her true feelings, so therapy would be a big plus in helping her here.
Gina
A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 Go and get some marriage counseling. My guess is she is in her early 20's and has difficulty having orgasms when you have vaginal sex. Many women are like this and especially younger ones for a variety of reasons.
She knows how to have one by herself and for some reason she doesn't want to show you how to do it, just a hunch, but I think so.
I don't know if the type of porn is truly meaningful except she probably finds it especially dirty and naughty so that gets her going.
I think she has a problem with porn, best to get a professional in on this to help you all sort it out and improve your sexual relationship.
I would give it a chance to work and tell he that you are not happy with the lack of nookie in your bed and that as your partner you would hope that she wants to express her love to you more often by having sex with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): Your ticking all the sex boxes, how about the romance ones? Perhaps to have sex with you more (and not just to "get off"), she needs to feel love there. Try holding her hand when out in public, or tell her she looks beautiful today, or write her a poem and leave it for her to find. By connecting with you more she may come to you for her needs. Cant hurt to try it? Just a thought...
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A
female
reader, katyayni  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 HiHave you thought of suggesting a threesome?LOL.On a deeper level, no a 24yr old has no reason to lose any interest in sex and the fact that you are unsatisfied on this level... well, it is indication of deeper issues... Watching porn, not wanting sex... those are mere symptoms, there is a lot more to this than meets the eye. Just so you know, porn can never replace a man or a woman one truly loves (or thinks that they truly love)... NEVER. There are deeper issues at play here.Have a heart to heart talk with her... not on why you guys aren't having sex or what she can do to make the sex more satisfying etc... ask WHAT IS GOING ON? SOMETHING BOTHERING HER? Be loving, not judging or even angry... let her tell you at her own pace, trust me, you want to listen to her... until then... just relax around the house. Now go home, put no pressure on sex or anything... hold her after dinner and talk... (that is, you let her talk)... Hope I helped Love :)
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