A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:why would 2 people in a close relationship have a threesome?why would a man have a threesome with his long term girlfriend and her friend?is this the type of thing that would just happen when you got drunk or would you plan this?is this a sign that there are problems in the relationship or that you are sexually adventurous?why would this man then tell his new girlfriends when the relationship broke up?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): If you want a threesome then you both need to really agree on it and want to do it-if one of you is not fully convinced then it will lead to a WHOLE load of problems so best stay away all together.
A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (31 May 2007):
 It could just be a case of trying new ways to spice up a persons sex life, but i dont think they ever think about the emotions that this could start.
The reason why they may brag to girlfriends is to sound the big man - most men brag to their mates about what they have done trying to impress.
I dont think anyone should do something that they aren't sure about or comfortable with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): I read some stuff about this because my boyfriend was wanting to do this and I was freaked out.
It is definitely a problem if one person in a couple is pressured into it, anyone who does that to you doesn't really care about you. Or if you go along because you don't want to lose the person and never tell him you don't want to - big problem, because that means you aren't being honest with each other, and you'll be upset afterwards, and things will fall apart between you.
A number of people do plan and do this sort of thing, some of them regularly (apparently the real "couple" have to be really secure and trusting with each other) and some (probably more) as an experiment because one or both in the couple really wants to try it (or wants to please the one who wants it). A guy might do this and think it was great although his girlfriend is crushed.
It seems to be a huge fantasy for a guy to be with 2 women at once (they are much less interested in being with their girlfriend and another guy!!) From what I have read it is often really damaging to the relationship because the difference between fantasy and reality is huge, and after doing this big problems with trust and insecurity can come up (even for the one who suggested it).
If some guy is telling you about the great threesomes he had he could be lying, it could be it was his fantasy but it never happened. He could be testing to see if it turns you on. If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him you don't want to hear about it and to keep it in his fantasy life, and if he doesn't shut up, leave him for not respecting your reasonable request. Oh, and if the mere fact that he is telling intimate secrets about his previous girlfriend upsets you and makes you feel he is a blabber mouth who will later talk about YOU, that is enough reason to leave him too. If you can't trust him to respect you, it isn't worth it.
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