A
female
age
51-59,
*olfgirl3198
writes:i have been with the same man for 30 years we have been married for 26 years..he has never worked much.i have always been the one to work i got sick 3 year's ago and i can not work anymore..ok he started a job back in nov 2011i very glad he went to work but,he keeps all his money to him self he does not or will not help me with the household bill's.i pay what i can with my disabilty that i get.he drink's everytime he has a day off he is very nasty when he drinks anymore,always put's me down.never will he tell me anything nice.i am very unhappy living like this.i tell him i love him all the time he never tells me he loves me..he has alway slept in a recliner chair never in my bed.he doesn't touch me in anyway anymore he is not interested in me he call's me fat.and that hurts me.and he dont care..i just dont understand why he wont help me out with the household bill's..and when i ask he really get's nasty
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (12 July 2012):
Why are you still living with this man? You might love him, but sadly that isn’t enough. If he loved you back, he wouldn’t treat you like this. He’s aggressive to you, calls you fat and refuses to show you any affection, yet he finds you good enough to pay for him to be a layabout scrounger with a drink problem? Insist he pays his share. Is the house yours? If so, tell him it’s a choice to pay up or get out, and when you say it, mean it! Why is he refusing to pay and treating you so badly
? Because he’s a nasty person, and because you’re letting him. He knows that you love him and he’s using that fact to convince himself that he can do as he pleases because he’ll get away with it anyway. Give him the ultimatum: shock him in to realising that it’s a case of shape up or ship out!
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2012):
 he won't help you out now because he's never helped you out before.
are you asking for advice on what to do or just want to know why a man who is allowed to be abusive to a woman who allows herself to be abused will do so... easy because he can.
In my relationships (always) it's been a what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine... if he doesn't do that and you do, then your styles don't match.
if he wont' help with the household then it's time for him to find a new household.
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A
female
reader, IamJess +, writes (12 July 2012):
 This doesn't sound like someone you should be spending your lfie with, he sounds like he's turned into a nasty person since working obviously, and if he wants to live with you why isn't he contributing to the bills? I think you need to be harsh with him or he won't get you, and with him being nasty you just need to tell him he's out of line, or just leave, you can obviously do way better the fact your not even acting like a couple anyway insinuates some kind of relationship trouble. He's not worth it, you can find somebody who is, it just sounds like he's living there for free from you.
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