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Why isn't my girlfriend attracted to me?

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 January 2010)
A male United States age 18-21, *onfusled writes:

ok so i have been dating my girlfriend for a year and 8 months and i love her with all of my heart. we have had a great relationship and we are basically best friends. we rarely fight and when we do we always work it out. our relationship started off kinda slow and we didn't kiss until about five months into our relationship, but this didn't bug me and when we did kiss that made it even better. at about 6 or 7 months i felt her up for the first time. that blew my mind and i was totally fine with just going that far. and we continued to feel up and thats all to about our year anniversary, but sense then we really haven't done anything. i ignored it for about 6ish months, but finally it just made me feel so bad that i had to ask her about it. i brought it up and she said she just didn't know why and that she wasn't attracted to me. this really hurt my feelings but i knew i couldn't break up with her because i know that i truly do love her. it makes me feel like we are just friends and that really hurts. i don't want to have sex or anything im too scared for that,but i just want her to be attracted to me again becuase right now when she isn't it just really lowers my confidence. i know that shes not cheating on me and i talk to her about it pretty often, and she says she wants to change, but we just aren't making any progress and its really starting to get to me now. it really makes me feel inferior and sad, but i know i am going to fix it and that i have to fix it. i just don't know what to do anymore. any advice would be awesome. what can i do? thanks so much

View related questions: anniversary, best friend, confidence

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A male reader, confusled United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

confusled is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks guys. i just don't know what to do. i really can't break up with her and i know that i love her. i NEED to fix this and i am willing to do anything it takes. Any ideas on how to change her or me or us or whatever? i will honestly do anything

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (6 January 2010):

When you try to go further than groping does she say no? Because if you are expecting her to move things along then it most likely won't happen. Maybe she has been waiting for you to take control. You know, initiate things, remove her clothes etc. If you act very timid and unsure of yourself maybe she finds it very offputting. Take control, organize a meeting place, take things slow but be more confident and initiate each step. I hope y'all of legal age though.

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