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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm 20 years old,and I just wonder why relationship is so hard to handle.I've met a guy a month ago,and he seems like a gentleman and so polite to me. All close friends all told me he seems to like me a lot.He seems like a honest person and not a player.We've been on a small trip together and things progress.I started to like this guy and think about him all the time.It sounds stupid,but Im a very independent person,at least I think I am.I want a bright future and career of my own and I don't want the emotion gets me all and time.And we both know that he is not gonna be here in the same city as me for long,just for a couple of months.He will go back to his country.We hang out on weekend,and enjoyed each other's company.But we never say anything like we like each other.But I think I start to like him a lot,and I will be very upset if he is gone.When he stops calling me or text me for a few days,i will miss him.That is why I know things is out of my control.what should I do? shall I ask him what he wants out relationship to be or just stop seeing him anymore? I really hate the situation now which is hanging in the air and full of uncertainty.I hate myself for expecting his call or text all day long and not even sure he is serious or the person worthy.Plese tell me what to do? Thank you very much.
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female
reader, Plutonious  +, writes (27 February 2009):
This is going to be tough for you, I could already picture it! And if he is serious about leaving going back to his country, you have to be well prepared emotionally.
To make this easier on yourself, you should start letting go now. (easier said than done, NOTHING IS EVER EASY WHEN IT COMES TO PROBLEMS LIKE THIS)
Create a distraction for yourself, do what makes you happy, and may be you are not the SELFISH type but perhaps it's time to act like one, for now?! Take care of you first.
While you are dealing with yourself emotionally, deal with how you are going to confront him of how you enjoyed his stay and his company. Be genuwine about this one. He sounds like a real gentleman.
If you really have that much respect for him than let him do what he needs to do.
most importantly, give yourself some respect too you know.
If you revolve yourself around him too much before he flees, the more it's going to be difficult for you in the aftermath. It sounds like you need to work on that independency as well.
It'll take time but surely. I promise.
I've been there done that.
and let me tell u it isn't easy
Look on the bright side, you still have that friendship right? don't disregard the friendship just because you guys will never be the same as you guys are now. for the mean time...
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (25 February 2009):
 You can simply tell him that you are very fond of him and would like to continue your friendship after he leaves. I wouldn't suggest getting sexually involved as you know he is going to be leaving soon. It will only makes your feelings deepen and cause you more confusion.
If the guy feels something he may not be able to put it into words. It's possible that he doesn't want to get too involved because he knows he will go home and may never see you again. Just a note: PLANES DO FLY!
By letting him in on the fact of your fondness, it might provoke his ability to continue after his return home. It could also open his heart to the fact he could have feelings for you too! Just a note: If you don't tell him, he perhaps will never know!
Love has a way of peeping in just when you don't expect it. He could decide to visit again real soon. Chances are if he cares for you too he may just move on ova! At this point the only thing you have to loose is the CHANCE of being with him. If you don't take the CHANCE now to let him know, you may never get this CHANCE AGAIN!
I will say once again. Don't get involved sexually. If it turns out indeed that he cares for you too, he may decide to return. If he cares but can't see his way to follow thru with a serious relationshp, you won't have given too much. You can remain his friend from afar and continue on with your life as he does with his own. Just a note: A FRIENDSHIP IS MEANT TO LAST FOREVER!
I feel that anyone can see how fond you are of this guy. Once you have let the cat out of the bag, give things time and they will usually take care of themselves. It's up to you how long you wait. There are NO guarentees. However without speaking up, you will certainly be less likely to acheive your goal.
My best wishes to you. ~~~
`MAY THE ANGELS LIFT YOUR HEARTS IN THE JOY OF THE PRESENT, AND CARRY YOU IN GOD'S WILL STRAIGHT INTO YOUR HEARTS
DESIRES~~~~
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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