My boyfriend and I have been arguing since Monday and its now Saturday. I booked a week off from work to redecorate my room back home where I'll be moving back to in September. Early Monday when it came to me getting ready to leave, my boyfriend asked if I could take him to the shops to get food. I said, ok if we go now? And he said no, in two hours? I wasn't willing to wait so I said no. This is what started the argument. He now says I can't come and go when I please. And I'm only ever there when it's suits me due to work etc. Anything I've said has sparked an argument this week. I plan to go back tomorrow but he said he's dreading it and still annoyed with me? Help please
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2015):Mmm, Honeypie, I think the argument continued throughout her week off?? Am I correct,OP? Still a silly move on his part, but you'd have had a bit more time on your hands.You're moving back? To your parents,I guess?And you're currently living with this bf and now he does NOT want you to come back?I'd say,since you've had your week to re-decorate (and hopefully that's now done?!), just ask for your things and leave.Maybe he simply doesn't want you to leave? But they way he's going about it is very manipulative.I'd say there is a fear of "loss of control" when you get back in with your parents.If you can't afford to live on your own and you live with him, it gives him a certain amount of "power" over you. When you're gone to a safe environment that "power" is gone.You no longer rely on him, you no longer need him.Also, I do think that you moving back in with your folks is going to create a LOT of friction between you two and he does not seem "grown up" enough to deal with it.
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reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 May 2015): So he feels like he isn't a priority?
For you to SIT about and wait 2 hours for him to be ready to go shopping is honestly a little ridiculous. HE knew you were leaving, but decided to try and "make" you wait around for 2 hours. Maybe he was wanting to see if you were willing or not. Personally, if I was on the way out and someone asked me to sit around for 2 hours... I don't think I would have waited either, BF or not.
Of COURSE your work takes priority. YOU have to EARN a living so YES, seeing HIM has to fit in with your work schedule. It is PURE logic.
IS he not working?
Have you asked him what's REALLY the matter lately?
I think he is either wanting out of the relationship or he thinks YOU want out, thus the fighting over little things.
TALK to him, get to the core of what's going on.
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