A
female
age
51-59,
*razy8
writes:I worked with a guy for over 6 years. Our families became good friends birthday parties etc. I love his family very much he has such a great wife! After working 9 hours a day 5 sometimes 6 days a week, he and I developed our own strong friendship. A year into it the feelings and flirty got stronger. I fell in love with him so hard. He said how much he loved me and we couldn't go a day without seeing each other even if it was just us in the same room with tons of people and not even talking. This went on for 3 years. Long story short after fighting off our feelings with each other we slept together once! The second we did we both had huge regrets! That ended the physical relationship! We didn't want to hurt our familes! We still worked together for 3 more years! The entire time still friends with each others families. The hard part was still working with each other one day he would be all nice and flirty with me touch me on the arm back whatever he could get away with in the office, he said he missed me etc. That made me so happy he could tell I would be in a good mood all day etc. the next day he would treat me as though I was totally bugging him and then he would stop talking to me etc. for days and then he would go back to his nice self. Other days he would look at me and I could see that look in his eye and that smile he would tell me I look beautiful etc. After three years I left couldn't take his moods and he would flirt with other women in the office to see my reaction. I am not in need of that crap. I deserve better and I have a great husband I love very much! Taking him out of my life is what I know I needed to do! I left the job and moved on, not speaking to him for months! His wife would email me or call me and wonder why I hadn't called etc. It seemed just as I was doing better and moved on she would call or we would end up at the same party etc. As soon as I would see him the same feelings for him came back hard! We talked briefly a year ago and we both care for each other but knew that we loved our families more! I went over 6 months with out calling him etc. He only called me once! However, the whole time I have never really gotten past him! I broke my vows for him and still love him very much! I can't go a day with out thinking about him. Not one day in over 7 years! We saw each other at a party last month and he was nice to me said I looked good touching me on the back arm etc.He gave me that smile I love so much! He could tell I still cared for him. Then 3 hours later he was totally mean again. He was very moody and short. It was weird. I am sitting here today and I know that I should never see him again and throw out everything that even reminds me of him and focus on my family! I deserve better! Here is the one thing that keeps me up at night! I would love a man's opion on this. Why would a man who says he loves you and cares for you be so up and down? Did he even really love me? We broke our vows with each other he said he had never done that before. Why can't I stop loving him? How do I walk away for good? Do I tell the wife and ruin both of our marriages? He likes to protray himself as a ladies man with secrets. He says things like going that far with me has helped me not take it farther with other women since me.. I know he still has pictures of me but told me he got rid of them all. Why would a guy randomly just tell you that he got rid of all of your pics and then only later to find out he at least still had one left? I can't stand to think that I will never talk to him again or his family! I want to know does he still have feelings for me? I love him I know I do.. I just can't stop thinking about him.. Does he think of me like that as well? I can't ask him so what the crap and I supposed to do.. Still crazy in love.. help me please.
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affair, fell in love, flirt Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Your nothing but the other woman..the other woman who says she deserves better but cant see that she already has better. He's not going to give uo his wife and kids for u. And were u willing to give up ur life? He doesnt love u, ur nothing but another piece of rear he enjoys outside of his marriage. Do u even love ur husband? Bc if u dont then he deserves to know
A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Firstly it's been 7 years and he hasn't left his wife for you? And you have a 'great' Husband who you haven't left for him? So what is the purpose of this affair?
Children have their own toys that they love and play with daily, but when they get taken to another child's house, theres new toys to play with for a few hours. But before long they're going back home to their own toys again. I'm not saying he has used you, but your the new toy at the other child's house just to play with a few hours. He hasnt left his wife for you in 7 years, Therefore I doubt he's going to anytime soon.
If you love your husband that much and want to work on your family, then do exactly that. Refrain from thinking about the other guy, it's obviously not blossoming into anything more than it is. It would be too obvious somethings up if you completely ignore his wife. You can still spend time with her, but I wouldnt tell her, If she needs to know, then he should be the one confronting her first. If you're not happy with your husband, then for his benefit, leave him. Don't stick with him for comfort, chances of bumping into the other guy or just because your married. It's not fair on him.
If you feel you generally can't 'let go' of him, then just simply ask him 'Would you leave your wife for me?'
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): instead of foucsing on your ex lover why not focus on your husband. you are investing still in this married man. you claim his wife is just so good, what did you have that his wife was not providing. did you ever think of the betrayal of both your spouses. did you ever think what your affair may do to your husband. if you just cannot and do not want to totally end your affair ( no physical or emotional) then get the hell ou of your husbands life. he doesn' deserve this crap from you and he certainly doesn't deserve a wife who is pining away for another womans husband.
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