A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I havn't seen my ex boyfriend who dumped and left me alone in another state for nearly 3 months though he has phoned me regularly like once a week since leaving. I have now returned to the same state as him and been here for 3 weeks. He has done his usual weekly phone call and now he wants me to drop off some stuff he left with me at his house as it is too heavy for him to carry and he wants to cook me up some dinner in his terms (like we used to). He then called at the end of the week and said maybe we can have a pajama party. I am thinking wtf?????? I am very confused as to why he is even contacting me let alone having a pajama party! If anyone can shed light on what or why he would cook me up some dinner etc that would be great because I simply don't get it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): This is where you place the "no contact rule" into full effect. Delete him from Facebook, block him from your page, no text messaging, no weekly calls, no drunk texting, no IM's, no communication of any kind. Time to recover, so you can start seeing other guys. You're not ready for dating until you've unloaded all your baggage. He'll slow down your healing process. This is the "sucker" test. Let's see if she still has it for me, and how to manipulate her to use her to my best advantage.Leave his belongings on his doorstep, or have one of his friends pick them up. Why did he leave them behind? So you could take on the burden and expense of moving them for him.He is establishing a "friends with benefits" situation; which will keep you socially-paralyzed, until he finds someone he really wants. You'll keep his bed warm during an empty dating schedule; or when sex is scarce.Don't fall for the "ex-boyfriend wants me back routine." It is totally self-serving, and he has ulterior motives. You got dumped before, and you'll get dumped again. He'll reopen all those wounds that haven't healed from the first time.This is a no-brainer. Run screaming in the opposite direction. No, don't even consider being friends until you are 100% over him. By then, you won't even care.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 June 2013):
 if it's too heavy for him to carry how does he expect you to carry it?
seriously
I would love to come home to have someone cook me a meal and probably figure if I was able to convince them to cook me a meal and drag my stuff back to me I can probably get them into bed too.
IGNORE HIM
tell him if he wants his stuff to come get it and you will leave it on the porch for him to get when he says he's coming over.
do not cook for him
do not have any sort of party with him pajama or otherwise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): Sounds like he thinks your up for NSA sex.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 June 2013):
 IF he wants his stuff back - tell him to come pick it up ( you pick the time and place) and after that block/delete/remove him from your life.
Looks like he thinks you are game for some NSA sex.
Unless you want him to hurt you some more, you really need to stop talking to him.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (25 June 2013):
 Its very obvious hes trying on his luck, he thinks that maybe if he cooks you some dinner and has a pyjama party he might be able to win you round and be in with another chance. I find men do things like that a lot once they break up with someone, they might try and find excuses to keep on coming round or suddenly say they want to cook you dinner. I had an ex once, i'd broken up with him for 6 months, and I got a call out of the blue asking if we could meet and have a coffee (this was after he had theatenened me and my family multiple times, so it was rather amusing). You really need to be firm and say no, also its going to be very hard for either of you too move on if you keep having as regular contact with eachother as you do. I think you should call the dinner off, have him collect his stuff, and then maybe from there begin to cut down contact. He may be getting the wrong ideas. Good luck. Quack.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (25 June 2013):
Stop answering his calls....don't have a sleep over...don't drop his stuff off.
He left you. He doesn't really want you.
Delete all contact with him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 June 2013):
 "now he wants me to drop off some stuff he left with me at his house as it is too heavy for him to carry"
This is when I went wtf?????
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