A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:does any thinks this is unfair??guys reject me and hate me all the time.The guys who reject me always find a NEW girlfriend and NEW JOB even if a few months! but me i get nothing only yet another broken and cold rejection and only good things happen to nasty people.bad things happen to people who suffer, when is very unfair it really. why did he treat her good not bad like he me? oh no, he wouldn't do that because he fancies her and not me! so i deserve to treated like a piece of dirt but the girl he feels below belt for doesnt because she is what he wants and she didnt hurt him like he hurt me! That's is so unfair! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): the guy i liked is bad boy would call people that who does computers technician without the nerdy bit .
he know plenty abouts girls.since he get one when ever he feel like it.lucky him i wiah could that get a guy when ever it suited me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): Hi babes, thanks for the update, I really mean that. When you first started writing your answers were very short and it was very hard to see why you were feeling so bad. Your last couple of posts have been very painful to read, your very raw and hurting badly inside. But good as well, it's painful because it's very true, it's a good reflection of how your feeling right now.
These are feelings I understand. You can't cope and deal with them at the moment, so your angry and bitter. That's human, that happens when we feel alone and can't see anything good about ourselves and our lives. Well we've not rejected you here. We have tried to help.
Please try and find a little joy this Christmas. I know that will be difficult, but please, treat yourself kindly, be nice to yourself even if you think nobody else will. Your a person worthy of love, and you need to believe that, and start showing love to you. Treat yourself like a princess this Christmas, love yourself like you would a little child. At the moment your hurting yourself and it's so painful to watch. Be a kind person to yourself, that's what I would like for you this Christmas. I'm thinking of you, and wish you were close enough to hug.
Merry Christmas Irish, blessings, please look after you and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): orginal post:
guys have hated me since i stated sendonary school and it never changed.
i really do hate guys now there scum,and dirt,low lives who can charm nun in to any thing thats good there are there hate always have .guys have tretaed me like dirt all my self. they only do what they suit themselves when or where ever.it case of guys making all the decestions.
they fuack off who ever they wnat and keep what girl they like when wnat.
i am sick of the cunts why should degrade my self to make guy happy.
i really really hate guys with all on my heart there bastrads low live bastards.i hope they all rot in hell where they belong.scum
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): DiovanLestat thanks but i don,t want a boyfriend any more.i get treated badly and rejected for others girls i know you dont understand.so dont try.i am giving up guys at this at stage .i just them and i want no more to do with in any way.life has be rotten to me,next year will be no different.he wasnt a stranger he just didnt like me like all the rest.his new girl is complete stranger too.remember she onlt let him get to know her,i am sick of blokes and i hate them now.guys can do what it ever its suits them is what they father told them.i am born rejected i might as well face it.i am alone all alone may be that way its suppose to be.i can,t rejection any more.i distnat to be old maid end of story.you don,t understand you just understand so don,t try.i don,t want talk about it any more i am too depressed and upsetno more post to this item can you delete topic .its too painful.happy christmas
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): It doesn't sound like this guy was looking for a girlfriend at the time, it sounded like he was looking for somebody to have sex.
You didn't date the guy, your not friendly, you've never kissed or had sex, but you are angry with him, because he turned you down for a dance and now you feel like a victim?
This is what I don't understand... This guy never belonged to you in the first place. If you must fall in love with very beautiful people, why are upset if they fall in love with beautiful people too? What's wrong with other chubby people, or people that are not so good looking. I'm not beautiful, and if I was to wait to find a beautiful man to fall in love with me, I'd be waiting for the rest of my life. Your chubby and fat, well so am I. The simple solution is to go and loose weight. I don't understand why you feel so angry, because a stranger, somebody you don't know very well, decided to date somebody else instead of you... That's how life is.
You present as age 30-35, your well overage. I still can't see why you feel so upset because this stranger dosen't fancy you. There are probably plenty of guys that fancy you as well, but you don't look at them because they are not beautiful.
Babes, I can't help you. What can anyone say to somebody who falls in love with a stranger and then gets angry and hates herself because he doesn't love her back...
Go online and join a dating site, try and find a guy to date, to help you move on in life... Sorry babes, but at your age, so close to mine, you sound very silly and immature... A guy in a club turned you down, and now you are stuck and can't get on with your life.... That's insane..... You really need help from a counsellor, please go to your doctor right away. This obsession with a strange man is no good for you. I'm very worried about your mental health. Blessings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): i don,t want to talk about it any more.i know what your goin ask why are you so upset.i am upset that i,ll to be asked out and have the guy take intersted in me.but instead i got dismissed as one thsoses fat cling girls .you know the catoon.
the big fat girl chasing the skinny guy around a tree.
i have got to the stage any guy i have pick over the 10 yaer period was joke.
i see the guy i just get irritated and angry. and even madder now because he found what he wanted and its never ever me.after last expereice i don,t want a boyfreind and never will get one.may be i was to miserable and alone and unloved.
i am 29 yaers old and i never had boyfreind ,never a first kiss.i was born rejected always have being always will be nows it too late.its just so unfair.
why a prevert pric like him who is shallow and so up himself .be happy and not me.
8 yaers before him another guy i liked left out under all the rain for hour.
what do these girld got i don,t ,that thsse guy can always find some one and girls always say yes.
and i am aways said NO to with out fail.
i was meant to ba alone and unloved.and thats not going to change after last incident i decide i don,t want a boyfreind becasue the same thing always happen i am sick i am too old and fearfull of any more hurt and pain.
i am just so scared.it differnet for guys they have no consicne arent they lucky and move on the very next day and rejction means nothing.
i rather by a guy any day then miserable lonely old gery haied maid.
my mother said i like nothing but jerks who traeted me like diert and don,t have any intersted in me.
guys my age kile girls who are young and gorgrous and hour class figure not fat,ugly,short ,girl who guys don,t wnat to seen intersted ,fancy me.
every single last guy i ahve likes some one eles with out and they let me know it that i am unwanted.by dibleray seen with holding hands or kissing,seen in pub.
this girl must really speical if he asked this girl out and rejected a nice person like try to learn to lovre who no body loves ,
may be its easier to be on my own
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): orginal poster:
we friendly and bit flirty,i didn,t know him that well he never much told me about himself,then he never asked me my last name where i came or any thing like that,he seem only take proper intersted in the gils his fancies whenhe pay peoper attention.not to the girls he doesn,t fancy seem to me a bit strange and confined .we did the same sport,no i didn,t do any thing you said ,i actual i thought i was on good terms with him.it looks i wasn,t,
what kind of behaviour is this do you think bit strange , wthat he only ever about girls background only when he fancies but when she is freindly.
i notice when he was taling to girl right beside he asked her what she studed and where she from,what job she had,seem very inteested but he never asked me any of thoses questions i got send off like a child by him .more like idiot,i was more like inconvience
can please explain this strange behavior to me.i am stumped
then again wht guy in his right wants to be seen with short ,fat,ugly chubby girl like me in nighclub with goodlooking slim girls so i can,r blame him .when he pick of the crop thento be stuck with the likes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): Thanks for the explaination babes, I've been interested to find out what happened. But I still don't understand. Did you and this guy ever go out, did you have a relationship, did you have sex. Is this a guy who you asked for a dance and then turned you down. How close are you and this guy, do you talk to him, are you friends. Have you ever dated?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): well heres my story like you asked .now do you why i am mad.its becasue he found someone new,its face he gets rewared for it.
he was DRUNK AT THE TIME, i did nothing to him and i liked him but i didn,t tell him that i said he look nice. and he smelt nice and he look good ,but he told me in so many word didn,t want to be seen with me,i asked him to dance being nice he said no, at 2 different times. next thing i know he went kissing another girl in front of me and chatting up others in front of me as well,he more less didn,t seen with me, i aske him to dance he said no 2 differnt times, then next he starts boosting about all his gilfreinds and that he had loads of them to me. then he said nothing is going happen between us i don,t know what he meant by that statment and to hold hes drink while he went to the toilet i did,and he fucked off and left me there all on my own , he didn,t like me out i ran out the nighclub 4 in the morning in a strange city by my self, and he didn,t like me ,because i am fat,short,ugly, and i mad why he gets away with it,
in his spare time hes ogling breast and lookerroom taks in front o other other girls and eyes up girls were tight clothing between the ages of 17 and up wards with goo breast(big) size.
treated me like pure doomat and treated badly ,he never said sorry or even remebers insulting and traeting me like pises of dirt,
now do you undertand i like the guy drunk or sober hes not nice to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): OK, so you need kind words and compliments.. we can do that too... As you can see we keep responding to your posts. Do you think we would take the time if we didn't think your worth it. You find it hard to get over this guy, and we feel bad that you can't see how wonderful life will be if you can find happiness alone or with somebody else.
I don't really know your story. I keep asking you to tell us what happened, why you like this guy so much and why you are so sad, but you don't really explain. All you say is this guy rejected you, he treats his new girl nice, your ugly and not worthy of love. We've told you that these things are not true, you just need to change the way you present yourself, find interesting things to do, and realise that somebody will love you as soon as you are open and free to love them back.
I don't know your story, why don't you tell us what happened, because it is very hard to feel sorry for you, because you haven't told us what the guy did to hurt. I'm sorry the guy who you love doesn't love you back, the guy I love stopped loving me and I'm in the same position as you. I don't feel like a victim, that's the bit I don't understand. People are free to love or not to love, people are free to stay or to walk away. But you feel your a victim just because you've been rejected. It's hard to feel sorry for you, when there are women here who have been lied to, beaten and abused, cheated on or wasted most of their lives loving the wrong man. Your happy being sad and feeling like a victim. I don't really know the words to help you out. You don't like tough love, you don't believe anyone will ever love you because your the ugliest person in the world. What exactly do you want us to tell you to help you smile again?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): orginal post:
i know your kind of trying to make feel better.i went to counselliors they don,t help,the tough love bit is not helping only making me worse,but you know what he said to me and i really liked and i though nothing bad until that night.so hes the bad guy not me.
well thanks any way
happy chritmas and thanks again,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): Why are you giving this girl a hard time? He's rotten to her not the way I repeat not the other way around, so don't start blaming her, the bloke was an idiot to dismiss a nice girl for the same air head bimbo. A nice girl like her, so aunties get yuor story straight.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): you don,t know the whole story so give her break .
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 Our work here is finished, Ladies. Beer's on Uncle Phil, let's go.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 December 2008):
 I'm guessing you don't like the advice you're getting here, that's why you don't respond other than rehashing the same thought over and over again. When you can get yourself out of that rut, reread what we've written and have a good think about it. In the meantime, you'll live the life you've established for yourself. Do take care and have a peaceful and happy holiday.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): Deejuliet, if it's the same lady who keeps posting, I think I've said the same thing to her and more. But for some reason she ain't listening. Many of us have been hurt and rejected, we cried tears, we felt betrayed. But this victim thing, this "I feel so sorry for myself".. Everything you have said is very true, and I hope this lady will listen to you, or anybody else who has respond to her posts and keep saying the same thing...
You've asked for advice dear caller, many different people from all over the world, both men and women keep saying the same thing. You need to get on with your life and stop thinking about this man. If you find that hard to do, or can't do it alone, then you really need to see a counsellor right away...
Contact your GP and they can arrange for you to see somebody for free on the NHS. You don't seem to be moving through the stages of breakup very well, your still stuck in a place made 2years ago (the past) you need to move on next year will be 2009 not 2007, everybody is moving on in their life, except for you. Deejuliet was trying to help, her advice was good. What kind of men are you attracted to? I've asked you this question before, and I'm still waiting for a response.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): well thanks your advice i don,t want a boyfreind any more .its for me .any guy i truly liked rather some eles all every time. its about time i gave on the stupid idea.
guys do what ever they like and like who ever they want when ever it suits them.and they don,t care.
happy christmas
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (22 December 2008):
 I made no such assumption so I have no 'high horse' to get off of. As I said, from all of YOUR posts (and this is again assuming you are the author of all these very similar sounding posts) it APPEARS that you are picking men out of your league. You have stated that you are ugly and they are handsome, no guy you have ever approached has EVER liked you back, etc. This makes it appear to us Aunts that either the men you are chasing and being rejected by are 'out of your league' or that you have a serious confidence issue or, more likely, BOTH. You have come here to this site for blind sympathy and pats on the back with a lot of 'you poor dear' thrown in. That is not how this site works. We work very hard to try to offer sensible advice on how to proactivly address a situation. TAKE ACTION ~ improve yourself! Dont just sit and wallow in self pity. That is not going to get you anywhere in life but deeper in the dumps. We are all entitled to a good mope when we have a break up ( I, too, like emporessmystique, got divorced and cried a RIVER or tears!), but after two years it is time to move on with your life! And did you actually date this man? Or did you just like this man?
You asked in your original post 'does anyone this this is fair' because, according to YOU, every guy you ever like rejects you and/or treats you badly, but finds a new girlfriend and treats her well. Well it doesnt really matter if it is fair or not. It is life. A guy who does not 'like' a girl can hardly be expected to treat her well. The guy didnt like you, he was a jerk to you. That is why you are not in a relationship with him!!! He DOES like this other girl, that is why he treats her well! Get it? My ex husband was not in love with me and was not treating me well, so I divorced him! Now I am with a guy who treats me very well. If he ever starts not treating me well I would take that as a sign he does not care anymore and it is time to move on. This is life.
If you are rejected by one guy you could say this guy is a jerk and move on. If ALL guys are rejecting you and not being nice to you, you really need to look inside yourself and see if there is something in you that is making this all happen. Things dont just happen TO us. We interact with the world and cause, or at least contribute to, many of the things that happen in our lives. There is a dynamic going on here that I really think you need to examine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): Okay, this guy treated you like dirt, and now you feel bad and you've lost all your confidence. Now apart from finishing the relationship and dating something else, exactly what did this guy do to hurt you and turn you into a victim?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): "I am victim of it"... you asked why he preferred her to you, well to tell the truth, and I'm sure we've told you before, you have little to offer any guy. All you seem to do is cry and get upset because you can't have want you WANT. You don't NEED this guy. His new girlfriend is fun, they do things they go out. All you do is sit at home and cry. There's nothing attractive in that. You choose to be a victim, all because some guy doesn't love you. The way your dealing with this honey, your obsession after 2years, is a big explanation of why this guy doesn't want to be with you any more... You need to watch "Fatal Attraction", an obsessive woman is a very unattractive thing. Stop worrying about men and get on doing something interesting and exciting with your life. Two years wasted, how many more years are you going to sit down and cry. He'll get married and have babies, are you still gonna sit there crying because you are a victim, of a man who fell in love with somebody else. Lady, I think you need counselling, this is becoming close to a mental distirbance that seems to be ruining your life. He's done nothing, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS HURTING YOU.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 December 2008):
You've been stewing about this for TWO YEARS????? Jeese Louise woman snap out of it! I think you just enjoy wallowing in self-pity, have a great life and quit posting your sob story, there are no more answers to be found here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): "I can't move on"... nope babes, there is nothing holding you, nobody forcing you to think and live like this. YOU CHOOSE NOT TO MOVE ON, that's the big difference. It's been two years now and all you've achieved is making yourself unhappy and bitter. He is getting on with his life, he is having fun. Don't you want some happiness too or will you be here next year crying about the fact that this one guy fell in love with somebody else instead of you. That's what happens, we can't force people to like us. You really need to get a grip and sort your whole life out. Isn't there better things to do than spending your life crying about this one man? Go get another guy, then the pain will go away.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 December 2008):
Accept that he's a jerk, and not the one for you. We all kiss a few frogs before finding a decent guy. What I would encourage you to do is let go of this anger toward him. It is poisoning you for other relationships. You are not growing as a person if you cannot get past this.
Life stinks sometimes. Some people are mean and hateful. Some people never learn to treat people well.
Life is also beautiful and wonderful sometimes. Most people are well-meaning and caring. Most people will treat you the way you treat yourself.
Did you happen to read my first post on this thread? I'm curious as to what you think of my advice to take positive steps to help yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): deejuilet you can get off your high horse about him being out my league when you see the circmstances of unhappiness and sadness.this is jerk who i thought he was nice guy turned out not to be.i am victim of it .i did absolutely nothing bothing to him to hurt his feelings.and well able to make fool out any girl because of cute looks and cheap charm girls buy because they know no difference like i did at first. well i hope to she see him for what he really is fake,i do love men of sizes and looks.it just happen i brought his act and got treated like dirt ,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): deejuliet how do know what is out my league?
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female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (22 December 2008):
There have been a lot of very similar posts like this lately. I do not know for sure if you are the same person who posted all the other similar questions and if you are not forgive me. But I am going on under the assumption that you are the same person. You keep going on rants about how you never have a boyfriend, but are always rejected and everyone elses life is great while your sucks, has alwasys sucked and always will suck. You have serious mental health issues and really need to get into some counciling. Stop blaming everyone else for your miseries. Not all men are cold jerks! You are not just a sweet innocent victim here being put upon by nasty men. You have a lot to do with what happens to you. You have always been coldly rejected and have never had a boyfriend? Well try to figure out why that is! It most certainly is NOT your physical attractiveness or lack thereof. I have seen many women who I wouldnt think could attract a blind pig with boyfriends or even husbands and children. The thing is they have good personalities, and confidence in themselves. They also go after guys who in their league if you know what I mean. From what you have written before it sounds like you are going after guys who are waaaaay out of your league and then you pout that they reject you! Lower your expectations, work on your confidence, work on your personality and stop thinking the world is out to get you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): orginal poster:uk 30-35
i don,t feel thet will help.i don,t understnd why he treats her well and they boost about all hes past girlfreinds to her like he does to me tell me that,and treated her the same way he trated me why is that case.
why does he want to being seen her but not not me .why is that?well thats not fair at all.why does nice things about but not about i am nice person ,caring,i love sport,
may be its because i am not superslim with big boobs and pretty face and not 5ft 9" like he is.
thats seems so cruel and i didn,t any hurt he feelings at all .i actual the like the guy but him like all the others don,t me like that way what ever it is about me i am such a rejected
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 December 2008):
You do realize that the only one who can help you move on is YOU? He has nothing to do with this now; it's been two years and he's gotten on with things.
You are obsessing over him and his treatment of you because you don't really want to face things yourself. If you haven't sought counseling, now is the time to do so. If you have sought counseling and it didn't work, time find a new counselor.
Get yourself to the doctor ASAP for a physical; there may be something that can be remedied with diet, exercise and perhaps medication.
Agneeman had some excellent advice for you; she's essentially telling you that you are asking yourself the wrong questions. Time for a fresh start, the new year is normally a time that people make resolutions to improve their lives. Time for you to do this too.
Resolution: When I have a negative thought about myself, I will immediately replace it with a positive thought. Ask your friends and your family to write three things they admire about you on a page in a small notebook or journal. Whenever you start to obsess, pull it out and read the pages. Add some inspirational quotes that appeal to you; jot down things that you enjoy doing; cut out and paste into the notebook pictures that appeal to you. Create your own self-help book.
Going over old ground without a plan to carve out a new life for yourself is a sign to me that you do need some outside help. So you've come here to find a start for outside help; now take the advice you've been given. Come back with a positive thought about yourself. If you can't, find the number of your doctor and call him or her for an appointment. Get into the bath and wash and style your hair. Don't like your hair? Make an appointment at the salon for a new cut. Put away the slouchy clothes for now; put on the outfit that makes you feel smart and put on makeup if you wear it. That's enough for today.
Take care of yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): orginal poster:i am sorry, Emilysanswers just so upset about since it happen 2 yaers ago. It's obvious he didn't care about my feelings when he hurt me, he just forgot about me and moved on to something better. He never asked anything about myself, I was asking about him. I hear from other people that are boasting about their new girlfriends to everyone and he has been seen with in restaurants with her. I gave my sport because he was same club as me. I can't move on, it hurts too much, he didn't give me the chance even. They never too. He took no interest in me at all but he did other girls but not me because I am not good enough.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 December 2008):
This is about the third time you've asked this question and I think you've already got some good advice.
Rather than asking the internet why life is so mean to you, get out there and get back on the horse.
Don't let yourself get treated like crap. Why would you stay around someone who didn't treat you nicely for more than half an hour.
I get that you are angry but don't sit and rant about it day after day on here. Go out and find new people and don't let yourself get into these situations.
Good Luck!! xx
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female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 Well, how much do you love yourself? You know what I'm learning? You can't ask of others what you don't ask of yourself. And this applies to love too...Its time to take a year/ a few months off dating and re-asses the way tou relate to guys...Instead of "why do I get treated so badly?" how about "why do I allow such bad treatment?" "why do I pick guys who treat me badly?" Instead of, "Why's it so unfair?" how about "why do I allow unfair treatment?"So take some time off for yourself... and read "He's Just Not That Into You"- it explains guys behavior so well!
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female
reader, Ashtarot +, writes (22 December 2008):
 What you need to do first of all is to start loving yourself. You don't need someone else to do that for you.The greatest love starts from within. Once you do that then you will see that everyone wants to be with you. It's funny but people want to be with people who are happy. They tend to avoid the ones who are sad and glum the whole time. You also need to start thinking more positive as well. What you put out there you get back. So thinking negative about yourself and your situation isn't helping, you're just going to start feeling more down and depressed thinking that you're no good to anyone. Start telling yourself that you're beautiful, smart, everything all the other girls these guys have left you for are not. You need to show some confidence girlfriend...men like that sort of thing. So pick yourself up, dust off all that negative energy and give yourself some positive affirmations. You deserve better than the low lives that you've acquainted yourself with so far. =)Love and light
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): i know how it feel to be the one left to try and pick up all the broken pieces and he's out hooking up with a new girl, i know the question going through your head, you feel like there is something wrong with u, my angel just let me tell u its not you, men have this problem that even when they have the best thing possible in front of them they'll still go looking for something better, i am going through something wiht my BF right now and if this doesn’t work i'll be living by this motto : the only difference between a man and a vibrator is that the man can buy you a drink.good luck
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