A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Ok, im 21 years old and iv never had a relationship. i seem to be the only one out of my friends that doesnt have a boyfriend. men just dont seem to be interested in me. i do talk to them but theres nothing worse that being in a night club and some drunken idiot coming on to you, i dont trust meeting people on a night out unless i knew them or they were a friend of a friend becuase im scared of being messed about or used. i feel realy lonely sometimes and wonder why i have never had a relationship. over the past year iv being getting close to this guy i used to work with, we have slept together a few times and we hang out but he doesnt want a relationship and i just want to be with somebody who wants the same things as me. i dont think i have a lot of confidence people say to me i should be confident and that im realy pretty and should not be single but i find it hard to trust people. i hate being the only one who doesnt have a boyfriend. my family and friends ask me why im single and i just pass it off as a joke and say i dont have time for boyfriend but deep down im lonely and wonder why its not happening for me. I dont know what to do or think!
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male
reader, Kevin33  +, writes (1 February 2009):
Hey, well let me tell you, the right relationship will come along. Just be confident in yourself and spend time with friends and family. At your age, its also hard to meet new people unless at school or like you said when going out to bars and clubs. You are definitely right about meeting those guys in clubs. Dont worry, there are definitely guys out there that want the same thing as you. Don't question yourself, you are still young. Ive only had one girlfriend and I am 23. Just got out of a five year relationship because my g/f wants to see what else is out there. You just have to stay positive. Just don't think it's your fault. Live the single life to the fullest and do all the things you want to do. When it's time, you will be swept off your feet. Just be yourself, and good things will happen, and when it does, you will have to take a chance. Only think about the present.
I hope it helps a little.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 February 2009):
Well you don't give us a lot to go on so there is no way to advise you.
Other than night clubs and work, where do you go where you have the chance to meet and get to know men?
If you can't list 3 places that you go each week then there is your answer. They do not tend to come crashing through your bedroom ceiling.
Get out there, join clubs, volunteer, take up a sport, get involved with a community radio station.
You can't find a boyfriend unless you find a boy to be friends with first.
Good Luck!! xx
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