A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a 16 year old cousin that is 8 months pregnant.we use to be really close but ever since i found out that she was sexually active (and doesn't plan on stopping any time soon),i feel so awkward and uncomfortable around her.why is that and how can i be comfortable around her again?
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Because you are bothered about her sexual activity, it sounds like the two of you have very different values. Despite being close in the past,the two of you are fundamentally different people and from this point on, your lives are going in very different directions. This is why you feel uncomfortable.
Part of growing up is figuring out who you are and who you do--and don't--want to be. You love your cousin, but the circumstances of her life right now are going to result in some distance, and that's okay. Continue your relationship with her in a way that is comfortable for you, but don't feel bad if the two of you aren't as close as you once were.
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 You were close and she did something that disappointed you. Being irresponsible with sex at 16 is not something to be proud of. You probably feel quite distanced from her due to this difference of opinion/lifestyle, and you don't feel you can be close to her after she's done something so stupid. It's not unusual. However, she probably is scared and needs support, and also a good example of how to behave at this age. Stick around, and over time you'll get used to it and things will become either. Also encourage your cousin to go on the pill.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Maybe you are uncomfortable because suddenly she is growing up while you don't feel adult yet. And adults have different social relations than children do. It could be you find the change from children playing, to being adults socializing, a difficult and weird one. Maybe as children you were close, but as adults you are miles apart. She has chosen to grow up very fast. And you don't feel comfortable growing up that fast. This causes a distance between the two of you.
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