A
female
age
30-35,
*oftballplaya
writes:why do guys when they break up with someone who they supposedly loved act like they arent even bothered. My bf broke up with me after 4 months together and i was truly hurt, we are both 14. Like he acted like nothing bothered him but yet I heard that he missed me a lil...I want him to feel as upset as me. I know that sounds harsh but he broke my heart and im upset. Why dosent any of this seem to phase him
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male
reader, alan949 +, writes (22 April 2008):
I agree with all of the answers so far. I was once in a relationship that was decently long lasting and meaningful. I happened to be as described, not showing much emotion towards it cause the events that led up to the break up ruined any serious emotion I could have left with. Anywaaays that is true that if a guy really is in love or something, a break up can crush him (me). Another relationship I had after that the girl broke up with me and I had pretty much fallen for her. When the break up happened I was ruined for a little while, but I had a lot of support... So I guess what I'm trying to say is us guys to tend to bottle up our emotions a lot. And a lot of guys are also just a-holes today and are not someone you should think about anymore if they're like that
A
male
reader, Passthrough +, writes (22 April 2008):
 If it makes you feel any better, I have been extremely distraught by all my breakups. Who cares what he thinks? You broke up with im, didnt you? Theres a reason it wasnt working out. Maybe he's a careless jerk.
Guys have been trained since day 1 to "suck it up and act like a man". Just because he doesnt show it or feigns serenity/placidity/indifference means nothing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): the thing with men is that they're men! they feel that showing signs of sadness is weakness and no man wants to be weak. not even a 14 year old. believe me, he's grieving. he may not be showing it but when he's alone at night, trust me, he's upset. just because he's masking it doesn't mean a thing. and although he hurt you, you shouldn't want him to hurt. just move on. you can do better.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 That is a mistake. If a man is really in love, a break up can really get to him. Maybe this particular guy didn't feel that much for you.
Also, most of us men prefer not to show how broken we can get to be.
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